lets build a snowman!

here's an online game to do so. . . . but for some reason it crashes a lot on me. . .
snoman game that crashes but is still fun

and here's the lyrics froma song that you can hum while playing. . . it's from cannibal the musical. . . :?

Swan: [slow] Sometimes... the world is black, and tears run from your eyes
And maybe we'll all get... really sick. And maybe we'll all die...

[fast] Let's build a snowman. We can make him our best friend.
We can name him Tom, we can name him George.
We can make him tall, or we can make him not so tall.

He'll have a happy face, a happy smile, a happy point of view!
If you build me a snowman, then I'll build one for you!

So, let's build a snowman. We can make him our best friend.
We can name him Bob, or we can name him Beowulf.
We can make him tall, or we can make him not so tall.


He'll have a happy face, a happy smile, a happy point of view!
If you build me a snowman, then I'll build one for you!


here's something completely silly and fun. . .

farting doughboy

have a good one!


for those of you wondering. . . i have plans to fly to providence, ri. . . where my brother will pick me up on the 21st. we'll travel up home to good old colton sometime for christmas, then back to boston for new years. . . in other words, i'll be in the north east from the 21st till the 3rd. . . so i hope to see all the people i can. . . .
ok. . . now, the other part of my weekend. one of my coworkers, tracy, asked if i was interested in going out to dinner with a few people and then heading out to espanola for their christmas parade. . . . i did make that face that made her say something to the effect that it wasn't going to be as cheesy as i thought. . . that it was really a good time, and the whole town sets out to outdo one another, sometimes just covering their low-riders in christmas lights and parading them around. . . and since i had nothing else better to do, i agreed. i ended up having a really good time. . . and well, here's a shot of what i think was the most impressive float. . . it's part of of some cement company. . . and the articulated arm on the vehicle was made out to be a set of flying reindeer which worked so well. . .

with the action of the arm it seemed like there was a set of reindeer diving and climbing through the sky with st. nick close behind. there were a bunch of really cute ones, like a toy train set all lit up. . . made from a riding lawn mower. . . and several others, but many of my pictures were blurred. there was one other, rather fantasic set up with a float in back that had a snowmaking machine spitting out snow along the way, and a small working ferris wheel and merry-go-round. . . this is a shot of the merry-go-round.

the whole time sitting on the road median, wrapped in blankets, i passed around some of my freshly made (mom's recipe) rum balls. . ..which, believe it or not, kept us a little warmer!

there was the potential of going to a tamale making party the next morning. . . but jared and i both had a few other things to accomplish before setting out for sunday night's festivities. . .

i don't know what it's called (and it does have a name, i just can't think of it) but sunday there was a 'reinactment' of mary and joseph traveling to find a safe place to have the baby jesus. . . .apparently it's done every year. people gather in the plaza, and two people dressed as mary and joseph lead a group of singers and a couple of guitar players around the plaza knocking on doors seeking shelter. (i also don't know what they were singing, and it being in spanish, and me being an american who has only partially learned some french in highschool. . . i was only able to hum along) anyway. . . as mary and joseph approach different doorways and knock a devil pops out from the rooftop above and yells back at them inspanish that they are unable to stay here. . . . or something like that---again. . . me no speaketh spanish.

it's a little hokey. . . especially the devil, which has people shining flashlights on him, all dressed in red with some sort of face painting going on. but a fun kind of hokey. when he shows up and yells at the couple. . . . all the audience people, candles in hand boo and hiss at him. . .. then mary and joseph proceed to the next house. . . . they do this until they come to the palace of the governor's where they are finally admitted. . .. everyone cheers, and we are all invited in as well to sing christmas carols and drink hot cider.

here's a shot of the hokey devil. . . it was really dark . . . my flash wasn't reaching him, so i photoshopped it a bit, just to make it visible. . .

anyway. . . . that was my weekend. hope you all had fun!
so. . . the end of last week was all about the christmas parties. first there was a staff party/dinner held at this shwanky restaurant called vanessie. . . we all got out of work a couple of hours earlier in order to clean up before the party. . . you know how dirty us production people are!

there was drinks, dinner, raffle awards, and christine brewer singing christmas carols (i guess she's a big name opera singer)

overall, very lovely.

i spent the next couple of days preparing for the poshy christmas party held in the scene shop for the donors of the opera. . . now why they like having it in the scene shop, as opposed to the brand new rehearsal space, stieren hall, i don't know. beautiful hardwood floors. . . heating. . . . clean and readily available bathrooms. . . i guess these donor people like to pretend to rough it, by having us open the bathrooms that are closed for the season. . . clean the entire shop (including moving our tool cage into the basement, and all the work tables into the props shop, or the basement) and decorate it with different pieces of scenery from this past summer, and jerry rigged lighting. (oh. . .and close off the hallways to the bathrooms so we can set up heaters there too!)

there was one 'fun' moment when one of the shop guys was moving a 55 gallon drum of flex glue from the scene shop into the propr shop. . . he hit a rack in the floor and the whole 55 gallons of glue went spilling onto the floor. everyone arrived shortly after his cries for help and grabbed dustpans, shovels, and a squeegie to gather up what we could. . . we ended up getting about 50 of the 55 gallons back. . . not bad. . . and an interesting way to spend the first 45 minutes of the morning. . . after wading in the glue i had to walk around with paper glued to my sneakers so i wouldn't leave a glue track around the shop, until i got to clean the bottom of my sneakers.

then i got to know the inside of the mao walls much better than this past summer. these walls are about 25 feet high and 25 feet wide, maybe. . . with a space about 8 feet wide in the middle for us to crawl around in. (there are wood supports throughout that create this twisted not so fun inside jungle gym) for this past summer we had to wire the inside for these really 'cool' cold cathode tube lights that were inset in the set piece. . . well, i got to climb around the inside to rewire it a bit for the christmas party. . . then again today to unwire it because we found out we can now scrap the walls. . . . after all the wiring was out. . . the carpenters took great pleasure in pushing the walls over and letting them float/fall onto their bellies (there is quite a bit of air resistance to them) so they could cut them all up and toss them out!

anyway. . .i'll have a bit more. . . in a bit.


GEORGE CARLIN POST 9-11 (His wife recently died...)
i realize this one has been back and forth over the internet. . . but i thought it was worth another read. . . .

Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - mouthy comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent .and so very appropriate post 9-11. A wonderful Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.

We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.

We've added years to life not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.

We conquered outer space but not inner space.

We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.

We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less.

We plan more, but accomplish less.

We've learned to rush, but not to wait.

We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.

These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don't send this to at least 8 people.... who cares?

-George Carlin


The idea for this next entry came from me trying to come up with an inventive way of writing to a friend of mine. I like to make letters kinda fun and special, and i thought I would use music to help me out. I picked a bunch of songs, and categorized them into different moods. . . then I did quite a bit of editing of the songs. I cut them down to only a choice few. . . . then, after creating the discs. . . I listened to them and started writing in a stream of consciousness style. After starting I realized that I wanted to share this with more than one person. . . so, why not blog it. . .. maybe someone else will read it and enjoy it?

I will preface this by saying some of it contains embarrassment, it contains sappiness, it contains pain, and it contains delight. I mentions some friends, and a few I refuse to name, or talk about much anymore. I'm not protecting the innocent. . . just myself (pride, ego, etc.)

Sadly. . . . you all won't have all the music I reference. . . . I guess, if someone wants it. . . I can copy it, and maybe send it out for Christmas. . . . . keep in mind, there will be more to come!

So here goes. . . . I'll title it, my life through music, part one. . . the kindasad album.

#1 break your heart (bare naked ladies) I think I like the first line of this the most, the bravest thing I've ever done was to run away and hide.-then, the weakest thing I've ever done was to stay right by your side. I've known so many people who stayed with their boyfriend, or girlfriend when the best thing would be for them to leave---or people who stayed in any kind of bad situation out of fear or some feeling of obligation. My family sometimes has a bad habit of staying in bad job situations for too long---but we're trying to break that chain. My aunt made a brave move and left a job where the people didn't respect her enough and where they wouldn't promote her, and where she didn't have enough time to spend with her kids. . . . so she left. . . and now she has a job where she has plenty of time for her family and where her co-workers treat her well. My mom did it as well. .. she wasn't feeling right at my highschool and was fighting a lot of wrongful opposition. . . so she left. It's such a big risk, and it's so scary. . but I'm sure my mom is happier at SLU (college) now. . . and I guess that's why I ended up at KSU. I wanted to leave my job in Virginia. . . . I was feeling so burnt out and not seeing any sort of happy ending to it, so I went back to school. My stupid pride makes me feel like I have to follow through, even half-assedly.

#2 china (tori amos) I really love the way she twists the meanings of words throughout this song. She speaks of distance between people both metaphorically and physically, and how distance-bring intangible somehow weighs so heavily on us. I can feel the distance getting close. Doesn't seem like it makes sense logically. . . but my heart understands it. Then she changes from china the country, to china, the dinnerware setting. . and draws a parallel between the unnoticeable cracks in the plates to the fractured lives of the people in the song. I also always thought I made a pretty good job of building the great wall to protect me. Sometimes I think you want me to touch you, how can I when you build the great wall around you?

#3 don't give up (peter Gabriel w/ kate bush) for a long time throughout college, this song was on a lot of my mix tapes. It could be a strength song as well. Don't give up cause you have friends, don't give up you're not beaten yet, don't give up I know you can make it. It really could've been a strength song, but something about kate's voice feels a little sad (but maybe that's because of another song of hers that appears on this mix) don't give up you're not the only one, don't give up, we're proud of who you are. We're proud of you who are. . . similar if not word for word something that my dad wrote on my birthday card when I turned 25. my mom usually writes the cards, so I was surprised to see his handwriting on the inside. Usually they only say things like that when I'm having a rough time, and feeling doubtful of myself. . but this was unsolicited. I felt a little weird turning 25, having recently left my job to start grad school. . . . not having many friends (I stayed a little distant my first year)-- but overall ok. . . just weird at the number 25. seeing what my dad wrote though brought me to instant tears of happiness.

#4 the end of the world (bill frisell and some chick singing. . . bill frisell is the guitarist) oddly enough --not!---this came into my possession during a dance concert. My senior year at emerson I had a majestic (the theatre, not the assignment) sound design. I was soooo nervous. . . but determined to do a good job. The concert was a first time collaboration between the theatre and dance department in that a theatre director chose a book to base the story of the dance on. She chose a story about the failed explorations to the north pole by annie dillard (sp?) as the plot, then the choreographers broke the story down into different dance pieces. For the 'ariel piece' done on ropes, I digitally composed a piece of music using some of the frisell soundtrack. . . processed it forwards and backwards, added reverb and loops. . . and came up with a piece of music that was very well received. I don't remember what part of the dance this piece was from for sure. . . but I think it was when the explorers realized they wouldn't find their destination. My sound board operator for the show had a problem during one of the performances. It was at the very beginning of a cute 'penguin' dance. One soloist came out to start the piece, and she was to be followed by more penguins when the next phrase of the music kicked in. . .. . but the music stopped right then. The cd skipped. She soloist gracefully exited, then came back on just as gracefully to start again when the music started from the top. Only people who knew the show had any idea. . . and I thought the dancer made a brilliant recovery- she somehow knew when to leave and return at the exact break in the music. . . even though it wasnt planned! I was first terrified for my board op and her. . . then completely amazed! But I digress. . . the actual song, which I think has been covered by quite a few people. . . is very sad. Why do the birds go on singing, don't they know, it's the end of the world, it ended when I lost your love. . . . why does my heart go on beating, why do these eyes of mine cry? Don't they know it's the end of the world, it ended when you said goodbye. (the show, however, I count as one of my greatest triumphs at my undergrad)

#5 I will remember you. (Sarah McLaughlin) OK, so here is my sappy dawson's creek moment. I swear I think I only ever watched maybe 6 episodes. I'm so tired I can't sleep, standing on the edge of something much too deep, its funny how we feel so much we can't say a word, we are screaming inside but can't be heard. ---really who hasn't felt like this? Honestly, this isn't one of my all time, 'must have around me songs', it's just the title that fits with some recent partings between me and my friends. It seems to fit well in that sad category.

#6 I won't say I'm in love (sun by Megera in the Disney movie, Hercules.) -ok, here's a lighter song to make up for some of the heavier ones. And I'd be lying if I didn't say that this song in one of my theme songs. . . if only I could sing like her! I wish I could belt this one out with the back up singers 'sha-la-la-ing' behind me! as soon as I find a guy that fancy, I stay as far away from him as I can, outta sight outta mind. . . and never, never would I say the word love about any such person. Part of that is because it's so easy to say something and not mean it, I'm far more keen on actions, and the other part is how devastating it would be to say it and have someone hear it . . . then it's somehow made more real and you can't take it back so. . . I won't say I'm in love, . . . no chance, no way, I won't say it. . . get off my case, . . I won't say I'm in love. . . at least out loud, I won't say I'm in love.

#7 I miss you (incubus) ok, another song that I mostly picked for the title. But would I be out of line, if I said I missed you? --the one thing I did ever say to a boy I really faincied ---or thought I fancied, I went home for a quick break one summer. He drove me to the bus depot so I wouldn't have to leave so early and take the train. He gave me a long hug and I turned away and hastily got on the bus. I was a little pissed, he almost made me late. While I was at home he left a couple of messages on my voicemail. . . I returned the favor, and at the end , through tears, I told him I missed him. He wasn't mine to love, but I could miss him. . . I allowed myself that much indiscretion.

#8 reflection (sung by mulan in the Disney movie of the same name) first off, I want to say, cheesy as the song may be. . . lea salonga (or whatever her name is) has an incredible voice. . . one of the few things I genuinely envy in the world. Somehow I cannot hide, who I am, though I've tried. . . when will my reflection show, who I am inside? To start, who isn't scared that who they truly are isn't 'good enough'. . .. for the job, for the family, for the boy, for the girl?. . . secondly, anyone who as ever been made fun of, shunned, ostracized. . . whatever, for not having the 'right' looks. . . wonders when will people see me for who I am, and not for the size of clothes I wear, the style of my hair, the music I listen to, the bars I do or don't hang out in. . . why is my reflection someone I don't know?
I'm also reminded of one of my first classes at kent where one of my good friends, swon, confessed to running into difficult bits after moving to kent, which is a very white bread area that wasn't used to people of different cultures and how- being Korean- swon was mistaken for mulan by a young girl in a grocery store, because that was the only asian reference she had.

#9 I'm going to go back there someday (sung by gonzo in one of the muppet movies) there's something about the quality of his voice that makes it so touching. I've never been there, but I know the way. I'm going to go back there someday. Come and go with me, it's more fun to share. . . there's not a word yet for old friends that just met. Not to be deep, but I think it's about home, for me. . . wherever that is. I want all the people I love to be there. . . wherever there is.

#10 rainbow connection (sung by Kermit in the first muppet movie) so much of my childhood involved the muppets (for a long time, the time immediately following the muppet show was known as bedtime), I had to include this song. Even thought it might not be really sad, there is something kind of somber to it. My closest friend from highschool, dan, knows everything about the muppets, and he's the reason I got excited about them again in college. I would tape the shows while I was away at class, then watch them later. I didn't realize watching them as a kid, how intelligent they were. I remember how upset dan was when jim Henson died suddenly. He recorded hours and hours of news clips all day about it.
And something another friend, Sarah, pointed out to me, (something I kinda already knew) so many girls I know, including myself, are kind of like miss piggy. Always in pursuit of Kermit, who is constantly running away from us. --but they do end up getting married, so perhaps there's hope for all the miss piggy's out there, who feel llike they are hopelessly chasing Kermit. Who said that every wish would be heard and answered When wished on the morning star? Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it, And look what it's done so far.

#11 roads (portishead) this song kind of feels like an irish or Scottish dirge (to me at least). . .but without the bagpipes. . . at least in the beginning. The sound is so full and heavy, and her voice seems so frail against it. We've got a war to fight here, never found our way. I first heard this song in the movie tank girl- which became one of those theme movies I liked to watch whenever I felt like I was fighting something larger than me. Both tank girl, and jet (the main characters) are really kick ass girls. The fashion in it is quirky and trendy. . and forever in flux. For a while, when I would go into technical rehearsal, I would see them kind of like battles. . . which required me to wear the proper gear. I would cut the toes out of a pair of striped knee socks, and wear them on my elbows, like tank girl. . . and feel stronger, but I also found that it kept my elbows warm when I only wore a t-shirt in a dark theatre.

#12 I will not take these things for granted (toad the wet sprocket) one part of me just wants to tell you everything, . . . one part just needs the quiet. And if I'm lonely here, I'm lonely here. .. . and on the telephone, you offer reassurance. Well, I think that's how I always feel when I'm emotional over anything. I don't like discussing my emotions-- I like to gain some time and distance from them so I can deal with them more logically, with more objectiveness. So when someone asks me what's wrong?. . . I am caught between saying everything in my head, and just staying quiet. I remember listening to this when I was having trouble with a boy "who will not be named". .. he always talked about his feelings - it was kind of annoying, and at the same time, I was really jealous, that he felt confident and strong enough to reveal his feelings. I never felt strong like that. How can I hold the part of me, that only you can carry, I need some strength I haven't found. You know how when you fancy someone, and you become close to them, suddenly, if you don't hear from them for a whole day, you feel all depressed? Like you can't have a good day without their presence? I hated feeling that dependant on him! But I guess I finally got the strength I needed.
This song also has a nice meaning though. . .. I've just attached all these bad memories to it. Flowers in the garden, laughter in the hall, children in he car, dive into the ocean, standing in the bedroom, roaring canyons. . . I will not take these things for granted. --I'd like to live my life like that. Where I make special moments of all those small things that you only miss when you don't have them.
On a completely other note, this is also from the album that was playing the morning my house caught fire in highschool. I remember the power going out for short periods of time all morning due to the blizzard that hit us early that morning. I kept waking up to push play on my stereo, and start the music again. I could go into a very sad story about how my kitten, Artemis, woke me up in time for me to realize there was a fire so I could get out of my room. . . and she died. ---but I won't right now. . . .still feel guilty for not grabbing her when I ran out.

#13 this woman's work (kate bush) well, if the last song didn't make me cry enough remembering my most love pet, this song will put me over the edge. This is the saddest song I know. I should be crying but I just canĂ¢€™t let it show. I first heard this song in a movie, I think it was called, she's having my baby, with Kevin bacon. His wife has complications with the birth and this song is in the background while doctors are trying to save her, and he's outside. .. .waiting. I know you have a little life in you yet, I know you have a lot of strength left. As a drop of blood falls on the operating room, a tear falls in the waiting room. Give me these moments back, give them back to me. I forgot about the song till college, and I was watching party of five with my roommate, jen. One of the characters (bailey) got in a car wreck while driving under the influence, and put his girlfriend in the hospital. He's crying and staring at her in the hospital bed. . . of course this is when he decided to get help for his alcoholism. . . but that song! It really sticks to me.
It speaks so strongly to my sense of regret. . . all those things I should've said that I never said, all those things I should've done but I never did. . . it's such a lamentful song, and so soft at the same time. Pray god you can cope. . . . make it go away.

And yes it was another song I played a lot after I left a boy I fancied I know you have a little life in you yet, I know you have a lot of strength left. . . I was trying to convince myself, that I didn't need him. . . and I didn't----need him that is. Just make it go away. But it doesn't stop me from breaking out into tears while listening to this song. All the regrets she sings about in the end reverberate until she says make them go away now.

#14 until that time (skott freedman) this was the guy that my mom heard and praised after his visit to slu college. . . then I went to his very small concert at kent. (slightly more uplifting from the last song) he had to play on an electric keyboard. . . the sound was bad, and the lights were terrible! But he's a good piano player and a ocuple of his songs are really strong. One of my former students was the head of the gay and lesbian association that sponsored his concert. He was rather loud and mouthy in class, the student that is. . . he annoyed a lot of the other students, and me sometimes, but he kept me on my toes. . . and he had a genuine enthusiasm. He was really glad to see me there. Well I know that you're hurting, and I know that you're crying, and I know that you're lonely, and I know you know you're not the only one. But soon, again, my friend, you'll find you're way back to the sun. and until that time I'll be the hand for you to hold. And until that time feel free to cry on my shoulder, you'll be all right. We'll both be all right.


so i think i have a pretty good idea for a reality tv series. . . it'll be called, "bitch begone" i will be the host, of course, and will work and consult with a panel of my friends-which will vary depending on who is available. at first i had thought about it in accordance with highschool reunions. . . but in order to keep it fresh, i think i'll have to incorporate family get togethers, perhaps work environments, maybe sorority houses!. . . oooohhhhh. . .that's good. . . just came up with it too :)

anyway, here's how the show works. put these people in close quarters for, let's say, a month. . . maybe more. make it a pretty good vacation setting. after the politeness wares off (if there was any to begin with). . . the bitchiness begins! of course there are tons of cameras recording all the people's actions and foul behaviour. every so often for the first week, i step in and check to see how people are doing. . . and i suppose there will have to be tasks to accomplish. at first. . . -having had my share of terrible roommates, i thought just having people care for their living space would be enough. . . you'll get that person who never does the dishes, and another who makes too much racket when people are sleeping, another who hogs the bathroom, and another who lets things rot in the trash creating a stench that upon walking into the room causes one to dry heave then blames it on your prepackaged asian food. . . when really, it was her foul bbq leftovers which after having some to eat she threw the rest into the garbage to let rot and create a stench, then after you discover the origin of the stench and remove it, you get the late, discreet, but somewhat wonderful gratification of watching said roommate make several trips to the bathroom with a sick stomach. . . that's what you get for eating rotten meat and letting it fester in the garbage you stupid twat!

where was i? oh yeah. . . there will be several different types of annoying bitchy type people who will emerge in the group. but i suppose i should work on some of those survivor type games and tasks. . . .

anyway, after my friends and i start categorizing the bitchy from the non-bitchy. . . we hold interviews with the non-bitchy to get a clear idea of their stance in the household. the one main difference about this show is that the non-bitchy will be rewarded. if you aren't backstabbing, snooty, or ill tempered. . . . you will end up moving on to a higher level. . . kind of like karma in a can. if you prove yourself to be a genuinely caring and kind person, your vacation getaway will continue to improve.

i figure i'll start it by moving the non-bitchy out of the house, and into a nicer one. . . with only the non-bitchy as companions. i'd also like this to be a safe haven for those who let the bitchy walk all over them. perhaps in this envisonment they will grow a spine without wanting retaliation.

after two days away from the bitchy. . . i will approach they bitchy and let them in on the fact that the others have been rewarded and have moved to better accommodations where they are being pampered and living in bliss. i will then show them video footage of their own nasty behavior. . . (which i won't show to the non-bitchy. . . because i don't feel it is necessary, and in the end would be hurtful toward their feelings, and would possibly make them less accepting of the next phase.) after showing the bitchy the video proof of their bitchiness. . . i will explain the situation and tell them that they are allowed another chance. for the next 48 hours they are allowed to contemplate their behaviour and choose whether or not they want to change. at the end of the 48 hours, if they don't care to move on, they are excused from the game. . . if they want to make a conserted effort to be a better person, then they move in with the non-bitchy on a 5 day trial period. . . during which time my panel of friends, as well as the non-bitchy assess their progress. then, after 5 days they are either voted in or out. this all takes place in about 3 weeks.

so, there's a two week gestation period where the bitchy and non-bitchy are formed and emerge from their cocoons. . . after 2 days of separation, 2 days of contemplation and meditation (i wonder how many more -ation words i can fit in this) and a 5 day trial there is another whole week of cohabitation (yes!. . .one more). after that week, my panel and i will make one final decision. . . then those who make the final cut. . . which may be everyone, are sent on a luxury type vacation.

i realize that being nice, humble, and 'good' isn't quite the stuff that normal tv drama is made of. . . . but there would be plenty of drama as we weed out the bitchy, then watch their cathartic confessions of wrongdoing to the non-bitchy. . .and the cameras. . . and i think. . . a wonderful, caring, loving, supportive feeling that could become a societal model. (is societal a word?---anyway)

imagine. . . people ---being rewarded for not being complete jackasses!

which reminds me. . . . i realize that 'bitchy' wouldn't describe all the nasty people on the show . . . it is somewhat gender biased. . . so those that don't wish to be 'bitchy'. . . but are. . . will be known as jackasses. it's just that 'bitch begone' seemed like a really great title.

anyway. . . there it is. .. .and for all you major tv execs out there looking for the next big thing. . . . here it is. . .. and i'll look forward to your phone call.


so, today i take my brother to the airport so that he may return to boston.

we've cooked, roamed the town, watched what can only be described as a shit-ton of movies, and lounged at the santa fe baking company while surfing online, and dan has had separate adventures while i've been at work- visiting the tent rocks in cochiti on monday, and white place in abiquiu yesterday. . .

monday evening dan, jared, and i went out to dinner so dan could have an oasis cafe experience. . . . we had a small snack before showing up. the food at oasis is good, but it is wise to not go hungry. . . the waiting staff is kind of free spirited, and well. . . you may have to remind them that you ordered a pale ale several times. . . and when the waiter tells the table next to you that they are out of the pale ale you can ask, "but i'm still getting mine, right?". . . at which time, you'll get to choose a different beverage. we ate in the womb room. . . . a very warm colored sparcely lit room with coffee tables to eat at (which jared and i thought reminded us a little more of our apartment then we cared to admit) and pillows covering the floor to sit upon. . .. there's also a lofted space on half the room . . . so the lounging is double decker.

the other rooms include an eastern tea room?- not quite sure if that was what it was called. . . the renaissance room, which has more refined looking furniture. . . . and the mushroom room. . . which i had eaten in before. . .as i remember it, it was kinda decorated in an alice in wonderland sort of way, also having some lofted spaces, so you could eat with your head practically touching the ceiling. there is an outdoor bar with a seating area as well, but it was a bit chilly to partake of that area.

last night dan and i went for sushi at kohnami. . .. i took him there this past summer as well, but in that six months, i guess the place had a facelift. . . it looked like a much more posh establishment, and the prices were a bit higher. . . . although i liked the new zen garden across from the door you enter from. . . i kinda miss that funkiness it had. . . where you could draw on your placemat with the crayons found at every table. . . and if your picture was well liked, it could end up on the wall. now the place is pretty, a lot more traditional looking. . . . but not quite as quirky. . .. however, the sushi was still pretty amazing (even though we are in a landlocked state).

but now, it's time for dan to pack up his things and fly back home. the plethora of cables, ports, recording media, and computer parts on the coffee table will disperse. . . dan will take his half with him, and i'll put my newly larger part away probably sometime tonight. i'll return to the gym after work- i've skipped it the past week and a half in order to spend all my free time with dan. it will be good to get back into my routine. . . and the gym will probably help the slight depression i'll have when dan leaves. . .. never was much good at that. . . . used to cry my eyes out after a friend left over a sleep over. . . . should've seen me at the final puss lounge party after three years at kent. . . what a sad but wonderful mess.

anyway. . . that's all for today.


i had this thought of posting the script to a play i wrote almost exactly a year ago. it was for out final in playwrighting. . . . a ten minute play that we had to find actors to read for. we then had an evening of all the plays from the class. it was a great time. the one play i thought in would use wasn't doing well as far as my teacher was concerned so i tried to write a new one. . . but that one flopped, then, over thanksgiving i wrote the one below. sadly, the readings were to take place the evening of the first day of school when we were back from thanksgiving. . . i had already asked a couple of my friends to read for me, and they accepted and took home the old script. . . cliff (an grad acting student) and jovana (one of my former lighting students). .. so i don't think they were really pleased about a brand new script that monday morning. . . . so when they said that they would only sit and read at a table i thanked them, but felt bad. . . since the entirety of the action involves walking around a chair. . . and well, if you read on, you'll see that it is rather integral to the story. however. . . .right before going on jovana came over to me, gave me a wink and said. . . we're gonna get on our feet and do it. . . i was overjoyed. . . as well as really nervous for them.

as it turned out though. . . they did an incredible job. . . both of them caught the voices of the characters so well. . . . i remember wishing more people had been able to attend. . . but i guess i just have to keep the memory for myself. . . and the group that was there.

anyway. . . here's the play.

Becoming a Minor Echelon Superhero:
Part 4

A Scene

By Erika Kissam

GAIL: simply, casually dressed. Intelligent woman.
KIRK: casually dressed. A precise and intelligent man.

The present.

A bare room containing one chair. There is a door to one side. The lighting is stark but not harsh.

(Lights up on GAIL and KIRK circling around the lone chair in a barren room. They have been at this 'game' for several hours now. They have cycled through anxiousness, boredom, anger, and pleasantries. They have become more at ease with each other as they continue their 'game' Each time a buzzer sounds they race to be the first to sit in the chair. It is a game of musical chairs without the music.)

Did you say you were from Texas?

Yeah. Just outside of Dallas.

So, you came to the East Coast for all the glory of this?

Look, I know you are trying to be nice and all, but I'd really like to focus on the objective.

Come on! You know it is not going to be like this in the real world. There will be outside influences, and distractions, so you might as well get used to them.

It really doesn't pertain to what-

(BUZZZZZZZZZ- they both race to the chair. KIRK wins and sits triumphantly on it while the GAIL remains calm.)

43 to 46.

Are you sure? I thought it was 44 to 45.

Please! You know it is 43 to 46, this is our forte. We should at least be able to keep track of a few numbers.
(Both get up and start to pace around the chair again.)

(feeling a little more at ease.)
Did you do well on the written portion of the exam?

Well, the only way we are both here is because we were tied in the 99th percentile.

Right, but the written only counts for 30 percent.
(GAIL is bored by the line of questioning.)
The practicum credit counts for 50 percent. And then there are 20 style points.

Kirk, I took the exam, the entire thing, just like you. We've both been training for this for the better half of our lives; don't you think I know the breakdown of points for the exam?

Yeah, but how did you do on the-
(BUZZZZZZZ- they both race for the chair, this time GAIL is first to the chair. KIRK dusts himself off a bit and composes himself before the two continue to circle the chair.)

(pointing to herself)
44 to
(pointing to KIRK)
46. Not much of a gap.

Do you think this is the last of the tie-breakers?

Who knows?

So, how did you do on the written?

For the love! 30, I got a 30!

Perfect score. I only got a 29.

Then you must have done better than me on the practicum course.

50 of 50.

I only got a 45. That would put you significantly ahead of me.
(She stops momentarily to go over the situation.)
I was four full points behind you. Did you blow it on style?

Keep going.

There's nowhere else to go to tally the score from except style.

No, keep moving . . . around the chair.
(They slowly continue around the chair and KIRK waves with a silly apologetic smile at a two way mirror found somewhere over the audience.)

Yes I blew it on style. Remember that last section of-

(BUZZZZZZZ- again they race to the chair and again GAIL is the first to sit. KIRK berates himself as they continue to circle the chair.)

Dammit. I knew I should've kept focus. I wasn't paying enough attention. I just kept talking and-

(BUZZZZZZ- KIRK makes it to the chair first. He lets out an exasperated laugh as if he's defeated the buzzer and shakes a gesture at the mirror letting the 'buzzers' know he's got them beat.)

(Continuing the circle.)
Nice recovery. That makes it 45 to 47. Same gap as before, just a little closer to the end.

They are trying to drive us mad. Do you think they will actually stop at 100 and declare one of us winner and hand us our official notification of superhero status? Not likely. It may be a test of endurance. They'll go far past 100. Just keep us running around in circles until one of us goes insane, or collapses, or rips through the two-way mirror!

Relax. Maybe it's time to change direction again.

On my count this time. One, two, three!

(They change direction and simultaneously there is a BUZZZZZZ. Gail sits down quickly. Stands up and they resume their new direction.)

I'm sorry, that was cheap.

(Quietly angry.)
I agree. Never the less, 46 to 47.

What were you saying earlier about the style points?

They count for 20 percent.

No, about how you blew it?

Oh, that last section.

The M&M's?

The infamous M&M's. I froze, completely panicked and froze. I had been doing so well up until that section. The magazine rack I organized in record time. The postcards stand I completed with complete artistry. I was whipping through them. Maybe I got cocky. But I got to the M&M's and panicked.

What's your technique of sorting?

I always go for alphabetical first.

So, you got to M&M's and -

-I saw a lot of little M's staring back at me and my heart began beating out of rhythm and I froze for a bit. How was I supposed to differentiate one M from another M? It was so defeating.

(Shaking her head.)
It's one of the drawbacks of alphabetical organization. It's such an American, Western approach. It's like always categorizing by numerical value.

I suppose there's a better way?

You need to take a more holistic approach to organization. There is some organization that needs to be done strictly aesthetically.

Are you joking?

The postcards stand for example. I bet you separated the postcards alphabetically by the last name of the artist responsible for the picture on the front.

Of course.

Well, your method may have been more efficient, but I surmise that I received style points for separating the photography from the painted works. Then I separated the photography into separate categories of black and white versus color. Then I separated those two into photographs of people versus photographs of landscapes.

How is that any better? The end result is similar.

People are searching for different things. Only randomly is there someone searching for a postcard with artwork by a particular artist. Most of the time they are looking for a particular subject matter. The artist doesn't play as great a-

(BUZZZZZ- Gail makes it to the chair. She shrugs, and the two continue to circle the chair.)

47, 47. If one of us were to screw up, this may be over in three more buzzes.

Have you already picked your name?

Ohmygod yes.
(Turning to her.)
You have to, don't deny it.

No, you're right. I have a name I picked.

I hate how we were discouraged not to pick names by the League. It's ridiculous. Most of us have had names picked since we were nine. Am I right?

Yeah, I even had my mom make me a costume with colors and a design that I made up to go along with my name.

So, give it up.

No way! I asked you first.

Okay, Sergeant Sort.

Nice, Sergeant Sort, it is commanding and descriptive. It really-
(BUZZZZZZ- KIRK is the winner. They stand up and continue.)

You think so?

Yeah. It gives you a real air of authority.
(BUZZZZZZZ- GAIL wins and they continue.)

So, what is your name?

God, there's something so exposing about actually saying it, now that I'm not in grade school.
(She takes a deep breath and releases it.)
Professor Pick-Up.

Wow. It's different. Not as harsh, but, damn it's stating your education in organization. I really like it.

It doesn't sound too uppity?

No, absolutely not. It-
(BUZZZZZ- KIRK wins and they continue.)

Well, thanks. I was always worried about it. I felt like I held onto it just because I made it up so long ago. But I don't think anything else would suit me.

I completely agree, and it doesn't sound too uppity.
(BUZZZZ- GAIL wins and they continue. 49 to 49.)

Not to sound depressing, but do you have a plan B? I mean, I know I do. I'd hate to think of what would happen if I relied solely on getting this superhero appointment, and then it didn't happen.

Actually. I've taken time off from my job in a library in order to take the exam.

Wow, it all becomes clear. Let me guess. You work the late shift. You wait till everyone has left then you race about finishing all the work in record time, and then relax and read or crochet or something for several hours before clocking out.

Close. You left out that I run around in my brightly colored cape, and afterward I have been creating a quarter inch scale of Dallas with an old erector set in the attic.

Impressive. What colors are the-
(BUZZZZZZ- GAIL wins and they continue. 50 to 49.)

So, how about you?-

I work part time in a record shop and part time in an artist gallery.

You're right, it does all fit together.

(BUZZZZZ- Kirk wins and they continue. 50 to 50.)

I want to say, that I honestly wish you the best.

Me too. If I came all this way to lose, I'm glad I've been pinned against you.
(They continue to circle in silence for a bit. Slowly they both slow down and stop. They look at each other and the two-way mirror.)

That was it wasn't it?

Split down the middle. 50 to 50.

Are they going to announce anything?

Maybe they lost track!
(Both giggle and have fun at the thought.)
HEY! Aren't we done?

We tied!

Yes, please move into room 45B for a competition in a game of horseshoes. Thank you.

Horseshoes?! I suck at horseshoes.

I'm terrible at it.

ps. . . we used my taboo game buzzer as the sound effect and joshua spencer played the part of the buzzer and the voice from the loud speaker.

hope you enjoyed it :o)


ahhh saturday. spent part of the morning reading. . . stayed up late the night before watching movies. . . let's see, what did we get through yesterday. . . yojimbo (another akira kurosawa), mystery men, and dirty ho. . . which may sound like a sick pron flick, and possibly there is a porn flick with this name-i wouldn't know- but this is a $2 gem that jared and i found at hastings. . . there was this bin of old kung fu movies, and well, i'd be lying if i said that the name wasn't the major reason i bought it. . . but as it turned out, it's a great little kung fu movie--and dan enjoyed it immensely. i got dan to sit through that and mystery men while i played with my new computer toy. . . with big thanks to my bro who brought it with him. . . a cd burner! yahoo!
----for yojimbo i had to shut down the computer in order to keep my attention on the movie. . . which was very good.

but i spent several hours last night converting some songs to mp3's. . . and copying my picture files. . . oh what digital fun! eventually, the plan is to copy all my music to mp3 discs and contain my entire music collection on about 20 discs. . . so if i plan to go anywhere for an extended period of time, and am left with little space to carry things. . . i can have all my music in a very compact mode.

i also spent some time contemplating my hair. i've made several changes to my hair in the past few years. . . though i doubt many people have noticed. most recently (the last 2 years) i've stopped blowing my hair dry- which means i'm not trying to fight the curls every morning by attempting to straighten my hair. . . although i keep a hair dryer around -just in case-. . . .i never imagined as a kid that i'd be fighting back curls. as kids, my brother had a head full of cork screw curls that were dark blond. his hair is now a light brown. . . long. . . but still filled with cork screw curls. as a kid i had long dark brown. . . and very straight hair. i remember my babysitter attempting to curl my hair. as she removed the curling rod covers my hair spit out the rods and uncoiled to their straight positions.

around age 13 my mom decided to allow me to get perms. . . i kept them up for about 3 or 4 years. . . ps, a good tip for someone looking for that spiral perm. . . . don't get the actual 'spiral' perm. . . it turns into a frizzy french poodle look. . . if you want that pretty spiral look, it's all about how your hair dries, i found that putting my head over the heating vent in my room. . . therefore removing gravity from the process, and letting my hair dry from the heat in the vent gave me that really nice head full of curls. but about 4 years into it, i decided i wanted straight hair again. . . i thought it was taking an unusually long time to get rid of the perm. . . all i can attribute it to now is puberty. . .. my hair is now curly.

a few months ago i thought about growing my bangs out. tired of trying to style them, and having them not follow any of my directions. they did start to grow out. . . but not too well, so they are still shorter than the rest of my hair. . . .and i've gotten used to them being a separate set of curls. . .. so i think i was rethinking the growing out of my bangs again. . . as well as trying to longer hair. . . but i don't know if i'll have the patience.

but i digress. . . .

last night, dan and i also walked around the plaza. the area is all lit up and decorated for the season . . i'll post some pictures shortly.

today, after lounging for a while. . . dan and i went out to shidoni, the tesuque foundry. we had impecable timing. . . . as we arrived and walked around the sculpture garden, we discovered that they would be pouring bronze in a few minutes. . .. so we got to watch them pour bronze, at a temperature of 2047 degrees into different molds. it was pretty amazing.
we also watched the glassblowing. as we were sitting there, a millionaire type was receiving what looked like a special tour of the foundry. one guy stood aside explaining every step the glass blowing artist made. . . . at one point i saw him turn in amazement and utter, "glass is made from sand?"

*eyeblink* *eyeblink* *eyeblink*

ahh to be stupid and rich.

so now, dan and i are eating dinner and checking in on email and such at the santa fe baking company. ahhh the joys of free wireless internet! he had a club sandwhich, and i had one of my favorites. . the mandarin chicken salad. . . while typing away laptop back to laptop back. . . someone from a more primitive time, say. . . . the 70's, may have mistook us for playing battleship .

you sunk my battleship!

alas, that was not heard muttered between us. . something more along the line of , "wow, the signal is really great here, check out this flash file!"

all for now, i think. till next time :)

"and we'll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere . . .and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys."if it weren't for the electric glow form the screens.


ok, so thanksgiving has come and gone. . .

my brother, roommate, and myself i think did a rather terrific job. a few recipes from my mother, and a few from jared's as well as a last minute call to jared's mom for a suggestion on the gravy and presto. . . . we had a thanksgiving meal.

jared was the turkey and gravy master, and he made one stuffing. . . i watched intently, i'm not so comfortable with cooking meat just yet. . . but i picked up some nifty ideas. after rubbing the whole turkey down with oil and some spices, jared covered it with a paper bag. . . and it came out completely melt in your mouth juicey.

my brother and i commandeered things like mashed potatoes, candied yams, and stuffing. the cranberry sauce was canned. . . but still really good, and the stuffing was sans chestnuts. . . as per my mom's recipe. dan and i searched santa fe high and low for chestnuts and finally found some that were already cooked, canned, and sitting in water. . . great, all the hard stuff was done, but the taste was lost in the process. . .. that normally sweet nut now just tasted like waterlogged chewy mush. not a good add to the stuffing. . . so we left them out, sadly.

starting at around 9 am. . .. but having to wash, and reallocate different dishes
we made due with the little amount of pots, pans, and serving utensils that we had. . . and came out with a rather incredible meal. .. if i do say so myself. after finishing, i relayed how accomplishing something like this makes me feel like i can actually cook.

not to make light of the hard work that people put into this meal. . but our process was fairly easy and smooth. we just had to think ahead of when things could be reheated or put in the oven after the turkey (which took up nearly the whole oven) we took turns showering while the turkey cooked and even watched the first movie of the day. . . fear and loathing in las vegas. the meal commenced with the two towers-extended version, and dessert was served with drop dead gorgeous, and we had second and third helping to arika kurosawa's dreams.

i never got out of my pajama short and a long sleeve t. . . so i was pretty satisfied with the day.

here's a pic of the final outcome. . .

i hope you all had a good time with family and friends. . . . and again, travel safely to get back to where ever you have to go.

"and we'll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere . . .and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys."
really quick. . . .

here's another shot from the back deck of the santa fe opera a few weeks ago. . . . pretty amazing


one other thing i wanted to post. . . . but first, or last, note the new quote at the bottom ;o)

so, some other person on a forum posted this picture which i will share with you momentarily.

so far, while working with people in the shop, whenever i have not understood what they are talking about i've asked them if they remember that farside cartoon. . .. this one in fact

i can understand numbers or certain words. . . but not the entire concept of what they refer to. one of the guys is way into hawling and crawling. . . in other words tricked out off road vehicles that can climb mountains and really rough terrain. . . it's pretty neat. .. and we've watched a couple of videos that he brought in.. . . but when he started talking about vehicle modification, my eyes glazed over, and my brain turned into a gelatenous goo between my ears. . .

but i found something new to reference, or in this case, post or hold up when i get that 'i have no clue' feeling. someone else posted it .. . . and i liked it . . and took it.

now i also have a small theory that the pancake is, in fact, not a pancake. . . but a japanese cookie. . . notice, if you look closely, that it appears that there are two thin pancakes. . . well there is a traditional japanese cookie that is made out of stuff that looks like a pancake, but in between its two layers would be something like a sweet red bean paste. . . . not that it really matters. just thought i'd point it out.

so when anyone starts talking about structural engineering near me. . . i have printed out a large version of this picture. . . --though i have yet to mount it on something reinforced and add a stick handle--. . . . anyway, i hold it up. . . and the idea is conveyed.

this morning. . . a couple of people were talking about gunsmoke and other western type tv shows. . . that i have never seen, or really had the inclination to go out of my way to see. . . . without the stick and reinforced back, the picture has ended up in a few piles of paper. . . but i quickly searched it out and held it up. . . .

if nothing else, it tends to get a giggle from people who notice my eyes glaze and a small amount of drool form at the corner of my mouth as i pretend to listen intently. . . but don't understand a bloody word.

have a good one!

This is football we're talking about here, which you call bananas and you're reluctant to play it. But you play baseball, the World Series. You've won every year, America's won every year in that. Well done America.-Eddie Izzard
i'm kind of sleepy this morning. . . my normal night cut-off is 11pm. . . . since i have to be at work at 7am. . . . but since the younger sibling is in town. .. .i stayed up a little later with him and my roommate watching 'animatrix'. . ... which, by the way is far cooler than i expected.

my brother and i also ploughed through princess mononoke. . . .which was also very good. . . and eddie izzard's 'circle'. by the way i love eddie izzard i love eddie izzard i love eddie izzard i love eddie izzard i love eddie izzard i love eddie izzard i love eddie izzard i love eddie izzard i love eddie izzard i love eddie izzard i love eddie izzard i love eddie izzard i love eddie izzard i love eddie izzard i love eddie izzard i love eddie izzard i love eddie izzard. yeah. . . .

he's had parts in movies such as, velvet goldmine (he was the band's manager i believe), mystery men (he was tony p., one of the disco boys), he was the 'actor' in the movie, shadow of a vampire. . .one of the larger parts i've seen him have. and he's also been in many other things that i have yet to see. . . but i have rented his 'dress to kill' and 'circle' stand up specials. . .. there are others. . . but i can't seem to find them anywhere.

his stand up is based on ideas but mostly improvised. . . . very conversational, and he considers each show a workshop of the jokes. . . which i found out while watching the special the second time with his commentary. its actually rather brilliant. my brother and i also watched the one of the special features which is one of his shows in french. . . . yes, he's brit, born in yemen. . .. but he can pull off his stand up in french almost as well as in english. . .. really amazing. i have to return it, but i need to watch it again. . . with the trivia track running below it, which i'm sure would prove to be both humorous and informational. so i'll probably end up getting it through netflix so i don't have to worry about returning it anytime soon.

oh yeah. . . and he's a transvestite. . .. but as he puts it, an 'executive' transvestite, or 'action' transvestite because he likes to snowboard. but yeah, through his show he wears a fair amount of make-up.. . . . and usually spikey stelletoed heels. what is it about boys in makeup that sometimes make them soooooooo appealing?

and although you haven't noticed the gap in time. . . i just went to my netflix que and added almost all the eddie izzard that i haven't seen. . . . but, they are at the bottom of a fairly long list right now. . . so it will be some time.

other than that, dan and i are gearing up for some cooking tomorrow. for the past two nights we've made rice, bock-choi (sp?), potstickers (or dumplings depending on where you are from), and steamed custard and red bean paste buns. . .. yummmmmmmmmmy! i feel like i've had the best food for the past two nights. . . and now we're gonna cook a thanksgiving meal! we will eat like kings!

i'm gonna try to prepare a couple of korean things for dan. . . .hopefully my memory of them from swon cooking will be intact enough to cook something that doesn't suck. i've already put some kimchee in front of him, and he seemed to like that. . . . so maybe i'll venture for some vegetable pancakes and that pepper/meat/rice cake thingy. . . that i don't know the name of :o)

i hope everyone has some fun cooking and eating and travelling adventures this week and weekend. . . . enjoy yourselves and travel safely. . . and if you get bored, try some 'princess mononoke,' or some 'eddie izzard' . . . . :o)


getting out of love actually. . . .

my brother and i made one more confirmation call to each other last night about what he should being along with him on his visit with me this week. we're attempting a thanksgiving meal together with my roommate. . . and my brother will be hanging out with me for a little over a week.

the phone call started out thusly. . . .

dan: "hey, how are you?"

erika: "well, i just got out of love actually, yeah it wasn't bad."

dan: "wha?"

erika: "i just got out of love actually, and now i'm in the walgreens."

dan: "you got outta where?"

erika: "love actually, . . .the movie. . . .you know british comedy. . . . "

dan: "oooooohhhhhh. . . i thought you meant. . .. "

and well you can probably extrapolate from there. . . . i wonder if the creators planned that when they titled the movie. . .

it was actually cute. . sappy, but not overly sappy. . . i think. . or at least over sappy with a good balance of rapier wit and british swearing. . . . BOLLOCKS! there was a lot of story lines running at once, and i feel that a few were unresolved, but over all, pretty cute. . . and enjoyable.

other than that though. .. the larger part of this story is that i'm picking my brother up from the airport this afternoon. . .. i had trouble getting to sleep last night i was so excitied. we discussed books that i wanted to borrow from him. . . movies he wants to bring to share with me. . . . and a few possible upgrades for my computer that he can put together. other than that we have no formal plans. ... i think we will stop in an asian market on our way back because hey!. . .. it's thanksgiving. . . and we need more asian cuisine at my place, right?! and quite frankly. . . the rice i buy at the local supermarket is terrible! i don't know why, how. . . or anything about the different details of rice. . . but the stuff i have sucks, and the stuff i used to get at the asian market was excellent. . . . so i will be trading it out!

we have recipes from mom to work on. . . . and my roommate is bringing back a few more cooking essencials. . . like pots and pan from his short visit home this weekend. . . we do a pot, and a pan. . . but, i think this meal may require more than what those two can handle. . . blast my unbeamable (watch out! star trek reference just made) storage unit in ohio!

i hope things are well with everyone. . . . and i will probably have pictures to share as the week unfolds.

and mom. . . . thanks for the recipes!. . . but dan is now giving me a hard time because you want him to have a blog as well. . . . just remember, that this thing only lasts as long as i have unrestricted access to a computer with fast internet service. . . . so i can only guarentee about another month. . . . :o(

"and we'll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere . . .and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys."


so this guy, milton, who i met last christmas sent me a 'do you hate surveys?' survey. . .. this is what i sent back to him. . . if you wanna you can copy, paste, and put your own replies in and send them to my email. . . . .

have a nice weekend!


What your friends call you:
erika. . . some call me toto sometimes :)

What people who aren't your friends call you:
i don't know . . . i don't associate with them. . . i guess if they don't know me they may refer to me as 'that short girl'

What did your mom called you as a little ittle baby:
don't know. . . . but '1/2 pint' and 'pumpkin' were my dad's favorites

Who da man?
mikey. . .. he's so money!

Where you born?

canton potsdam hospital in northern ny

Where were your parents born?
somewhere on long island for my mom. . . and somewhere in westchester county for my day

What country would you feel most attatched to?
i guess the US. . . only other attachments are friends in prague, england, south korea. . . and canada.

Is Bush an idiot?

Sorry I meant to say, "Bush is an idiot."

What are your dreams?
to be a decent person, and work at something i care about, and be close to friends and family

What are you doing to achieve them?

trying to figure it all out. . . . but i do work at what i enjoy and care about. i'm close with people i care for through email and phone calls. . .. but wish i could physically visit more often

Where would you rather be right now?
making pit-stops at friends and family. . . don't care where they are!

What's on your mind when the alarm clock rings?
usually i'm carefully calculating how long it takes me to get ready and what part of my morning routine i can shorten or cut in order to get another 9 minutes of sleep.

What's on your mind during your way to work?
sometimes what i'm looking forward to at work. . . sometimes what npr is serving up on the news. . . sometimes what will be in my latest blog.

What's on your mind around 5pm?
what's for dinner

Where will you be Thanksgiving?
probably in my apartment with my roommate and my brother in santa fe.

Should Turkeys be thankful for giving themselves?
well, the domesticated ones probably don't spend much time thinking about it. . . they are dumb enough to stare up watching it rain with an open mouth and slowly drown. . . the wild ones are really smart. . . so they don't have to worry as much about being served up. . . . i don't exactly think that they should be thankful. . . . but i usually am!

What is one thing that separates you from most other people?
my friends and family. . and the times we've spend together

What are you proud of about yourself?
mmmmm. . . .i feel really proud when i'm with friends and we're laughing. . . and when a friend of mine visited me this summer and hurt her back. . . . i was really proud to have friends out here that offered to looked after her and keep her company when i had to be at work.

Who do you admire?
dammit . .. lots of people. . . usually people who inspire me. . . .artists, designers, writers, people who react amazingly to difficult situations, people who are strong in and aren't afraid to speak up. . . .

Who makes your day better?
anyone who sends me an email and lets me know how things are with them

Who do you learn a lot from?
if i'm paying attention. .. anyone i encounter

Who let the dogs out?
someone rather annoying

What is your favorite movie?
damn these 'favorite' questions. . .. the mood! it all depends on my mood. . . but i guess one movie that i've never gotten tired of is 'real genius'

What kind of music do you like?
big band/swing is what is playing right now. . . but i like funky folk, industrial, techno, 80's, classical. . . and others too probably

What hobbies do you have?
playing piano, artsycraftsy stuff life friendship bracelets, used to crochet. . . but the needles and yarn are in storage, draw, read. . . . movies. . . . that's kinda it i guess. . .

What do you look forward to during the cold-ass winters?
warm blankets

Would you laugh when someone accidently staples their lips together?
probably not. .. unless it was a cartoon

I think that guy would laugh too, except he...well...can't. Ouch!

Who makes you laugh?
these two gods named matt stone and trey parker

Which of your friends knows you the best?
hmmmmm. . . . a group of my friends got me pretty good when they threw me a surprise iron chef birthday party. . . . .but i'm always amazed by people from places like highschool. . . who know me better than i'd think. . . given the time that has past.

Who taught you to ride a bike?
i guess my parents. . . but i don't particularly remember learning. . . not like you see in commercials where the parent takes off the training wheels in the almost ceremonious gesture and pushes the back of the seat and the kid yells, 'look mom/dad. . . i can do it!'. . . i think the training wheels just came off one day. . . .

Are you a good driver?
yeah. . pretty cautious

Can you weave in and out of traffic like my grandma weaves?

probably not

What do you do when you're bored?
sometimes i clean in the hopes of coming across something i hadn't thought of in a while that will occupy my time. . . sometimes i scroll through the list of people and numbers on my cell and randomly choose a few to try. . . . sometimes i find lame tv and watch it for hours. .. .sometimes i go to the gym

What do you do to cheer yourself up?
look through pictures, or notes people have given me that remind me how things have been better. . . .and will get better again

What crazy thing do you want to do?
win the lottery rent an apt or something and spend a couple of months in south korea with my friend and invite and pay for my other friends to visit us.

What is the most embarrassing thing you won't tell anyone! (but will tell people you forward this to)
last summer when i got food poisoning on the opening night of the first opera of the summer, i was sooooooo sick. . . and i accidently squeezed out a bit of diarrhea into my underwear. . . . i booked it to the bathroom, relieved myself completely. . removed the stained underwear (thank god it was only the underwear!), chucked it into the wastebasket. . . and ran the rest of the show commando style. . . .

When someone hands you a flier on the street, what do you do?
read it real briefly, then usually chuck it, unless i think i know someone else will find it interesting

When a homeless guy asks if you have change what do you do?
if i have change. . . but no quarters. . . in my front pocket, i'll drop it in. . . otherwise, i usually don't have much change on me.

When a hot chick on the side of a road shows you leg and it's in the middle of nowhere and wants a ride from you, what do you NOT do?
pick her up. . . . sorry no hot lesbian action here

Do you remember phone numbers now that you have a cell phone? (don't tell me you don't have a cell phone!)((no I didn't buy Nokia stocks!))
not nearly as many. . . . i used to be walking talking phone book in highschool. . . now i'm lucky if i can tell you what number speed dial they are on.

In how many different languages can you say, "hi"?
saigo (sp?)- mohawk
co-nichiwa (sp?)-japanese
moshi-moshi- (for phone)japanese
hola- (spanish)
namaste- indian (i think . . . . )

In how many different languages can you swear?
some french. . . . i think that's it
and i call call someone 'stupid' in japanese. .but i think that's it
maybe some hebrew though. . . .
and i can call someone annoying in korean (oddly enough 'annoying' in korean and hebrew are fairly similar. . . . meecheeganay (sp?)-korean. . . meshuganuh (sp?) hebrew. . . at least i think that's what it means in hebrew. . . . )

How many United States presidents can you name?
the other bush
the other roosevelt
(wasn't there a second addams too?)

Was the number of different languages you can swear greater than the number of United States presidents you can name? (that's so sad if you said, "yes.")
HA!. . . it wasn't

Where have you traveled?
cross country twice. . .
eastern seaboard
virginia to ohio and back many times
ohio to new mexico 3 times
all over ny
stayed a week in paris
stayed a week in washington dc
vegas a couple of times
orlando a couple of times
osh-kosh wisconsin for a weekend
dc for a different weekend
nyc many times
mobile alabama for a weekend

Have you thought about having kids?
yeah. . . and don't hold your breath

What would their name(s) be?
that was half the problem oddly enough. . . back in grade school when kids talk about getting married and having kids and everyone was trying to come up with nifty names, i came up with jazzmin. . . for a girl. . . but then i lost fervor in it. . . so i figured it wasn't what i was looking for.

Since my last name is, "Yu," would it sound cool if I had a daughter, and her name was, "Mi-Anne"?
i knew another kid with the last name yu. . .. his father's name was pei-wen. . .. . i'm not into scarring a kid's childhood with a name. . . . there's too many other things they'll have to face

Would she kill me?
no. . . but seek therapy?. . probably.

How long can you do this at work and not get in trouble?
so far so good

What kinds of things do you do when you hang out with friends?
movies. . . cook. . talk about work. . . . talk about movies. . talk about books... . cards. . . . board games. . . .

What's up this weekend?

a few phone calls. . . gym. . . planning for thanksgiving. . .. cleaning. . . . pay bills. . . .maybe a movie

Thanks a bunch for filling this out and sending it back to me. I might just learn something about you...potty mouth!

"and we'll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere . . .and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys."


i had this song, or this one line from a song stuck in my head through the end of yesterday. . .

"holding to the ground as the ground keeps shifting"

it's from a really beautiful song. . . called, "holding to the ground." it is sung by the character trina, in the show falsettos. . . or march of the falsettos. it was one of the last shows i worked on while in virginia. . . it might be that an email from a friend there sparked the memory. . . but with so many friends, family members, and myself in transition situations. . . . the lyrics speared into another level of understanding. . .

true, the show is about something else completely. . . but maybe not entirely. the show focuses on a family. the patriarch of the family, marvin, discovers that he is gay and divorces his wife in order to live out his own lifestyle. ------oooooh. . . . maybe the massachusettes supreme court's decision from yesterday (that a ban on gay marriage is unconstitutional) also played a camio part in the surfacing of this lyric!------------ anyway. . . the family transforms and includes trina's new husband, trina and marvin's son, and marvin and his partner whizzer. . . as well as a couple of (singing) "lesbians from next door"

it's a really great show. .. the songs are hilarious, touching. . . and sometimes downright sad. towards the end, whizzer is found to be sick with some 'new disease'. . . and everyone is visting him in the hospital. trina sings a hearfelt solo. . .----- in our production, i felt our trina (christa!) was astounding. . . . and i think the sound of it on the recorded soundtrack is really nice. . . . but christa's was somehow more full and emotive. . . but maybe that came from seeing her as well.

anyway. . . . i wrote down the lyrics. . . from memory, though i don't know how accurate they are. . . i think you can see how it probably fits into your life completely. . . but not really. i only wish there were a way to show tone, inflection, pauses and sustains. . . but maybe you'll have to hear it for yourself sometime.

holding to the ground

I was sure growing up I would live the life my mother assumed I'd live

Very jewish very middle class and very straight
Where healthy men stay healthy men and marriages were long and great

I smile, I don't complain
I'm trying to keep sane as the rules keep changing
Families aren't what they were
thank god there's a husband and a child that I adore.

But then there's more, so many more,

there's always more

life is never what you planned,

life is moments you can't understand.
And that is life.

I'm plain, I don't astound.
I hold to the ground as the ground keeps shifting
keeping my balance square

Trying not to care about this man who marvin loves.

But that's my life, he shared my life
Yes that's my life.

life is never what you planned,

life is moments you can't understand.
And that is life.

Holding to the ground as the ground keeps shifting

trying to keep sane as the rules keep changing

Keeping up my head as my heart falls out of sight.

Everything will be alright
Everything will be alright

"and we'll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere . . .and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys."
i've been debating on whether or not to write what i've thought about writing. . . and well. . . yes, it may be slightly embarrassing, slightly gross. . . . but, you can always stop reading if you wish. :)

this morning when i was picking my nose (yes i was p-i-c-k-i-n-g- my n-o-s-e) i had a small revelation. i had thought about it before. . . but then, as now. . .i felt less than comfortable about bringing it up in a conversational tone. there i was, trying to dislodge some biohazardous obstruction from my nostril and after succeeding, i found myself feeling mighty accomplished and even proud. you see, even after living in the southwest for several months. . .. my olfactory system is still getting used to the dryness. i find it so irritating to try to sleep with even the slightest whistle in my nose. . . so at times i've even implimented a q-tip in the quest for a clear nasal passage. hmmmmm. .. crusty blood and boogers! i sleep mostly facing down to keep congestion at bay. . . and part of the morning is spent in mass evacuation/escavation of any nasal blockage.

this morning, it just so happened that part of the inside of my nose had crusted up in an exact mold (kind of like a molten exoskeleton) of the passageway. . . and it remained intact as i pulled it out. what was even more wonderous is that it carried all the nastier, soggier material out with it. . .i thought to myself, "how productive!" but of course. . .it is barely something to run around proclaiming. . . or showing off. :)

i know there are others that feel this way. . . there must be! how about. . . have you ever wanted to (stench excluded) applaud someone's accomplishments in the public toilet? i've been seated and heard someone booking it down a set of stairs in a public library on her way to the bathroom. she slamed the door next to mine and started urinating so quickly that i have to think that her pants were half off by the time she hit the door. there was such force behind her relief and she sighed so loudly and somewhat joyously. . . . i nearly started clapping for her.

and then there is the messier of the bathroom reliefs. . . . yes . .. i mean taking a massive crap. everyone can understand that utter sense of alleviation that accompanies that kind of bowel movement. all kidding aside, it's nice to privately achieve that relief. . .. but again, in the public toilet. . . it becomes more about. . . "how can i squeeze this one out without a large 'plop', 'splash', or without it sounding like an onslaught of machine gun fire, or possibly the boiling, churning, and bubbling of and underground lava pit ?" ----even though it may feel exactly like that?

even though, in public, i would like to be discreet. . . there are situations where time is of the essence. . . that, or my queeziness has overshadowed my embarrassment and says, "screw it and let this one rip!".

i feel a certain kindship with others in this situation.. . . who seem to have made the decision to abandon the culturally accepted cautious toilet behavior and loudly break wind and expel noxious materials with what i can only imagine is a goofy grin on their face. at times i've been compelled to exclaim, "nice one!". . . or, "well done." you know that secretly, that's how they feel, and that's how they would congratulate themselves, if they could. . . aloud. ----------for i know, that secretly. . . behind the graffittied public stall door, they are blessing themselves, patting themselves on the back, pumping their fist in the air whispering "yes!", bowing their head and waving their hand in royal grandeur, or daydreaming of acceptance speeches for the 'greatest crapper award.' . . aren't you?!

anyway. . . there it is.

hope i didn't disgust too much. . . . :)


"and we'll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere . . .and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys."



. . . if you have a minute. . . you gotta check out this site i just found. . . it's pictures of rabbits. . . angora rabbits. . . but they aren't just rabbits. . they are SHOW rabbits. . . i think my favorite is about 5 down. . . a gray one with wild ears. . .

puff ball rabbits

sorry. . . slow day. . . hope you all are well.


for your amusement. . .

if you've been having a blah, lame, or not so good day. . .. perhaps this will lighten your spirit.

i was sent to albuquerque this afternoon to drop off some drawings with another company. i've decided from past experiences that the 2-3 hour drive is too long to rely on local radio stations for aural entertainment. . . so this time, i grabbed my cd player and adapter from my car and set it up in the company truck. (it's a HUGE white dodge) on this particular drive i decided to skim through several mp3 discs that i made a couple of years ago. . . . since i didn't have an mp3 player till now (except for my computer) i never listened to these discs much, and i looked forward to rediscovering the songs i had set aside for myself.

this particular cd had songs from cannibal the musical, the muppet show, fraggle rock, some techno, some weezer, and a few fun surprises from my WAY back childhood. there was this book/tape thing that i had that was a cabbage patch kid musical story. . . there were all the cabbage patch kids, and colonel casey (the cabbage patch kid historian-a stork, if i remember correctly), and the villians lavander mcdade, boe weesel, and cabbage jack (a jack rabbit). each character has very distinct vocal qualities as they sing. . . if you can only imagine it. sadly. . . i knew every song by heart. . . and could sing harmony to several. envision, if you will, me driving in a monsterous white truck singing
cabbages, cabbages, yum, yum, yum. . . cabbages cabbages. . . give me some (cabbage jack's theme), . . .. .everyone needs a lemon in their lemonade, that ME lavander, lavender mcdade (obviously lavander's song). . . . and then there's the harmonious duet between sybil sadie, and rachael marie. . . who are trapped by the three villians in a coal mine in order to bring unhappiness to the cabbage patch, . . . we've got to find a way to get back home. . . this time we're really on our own. . . we've got to get away from cabbage jack, and get back home and then, there'll be laughter in the cabbage patch again . . . .

but i think the clincher may be a brief stop at a stop light. . . a homie in a tricked out red car next to me had some deep bass thumping through the metal skin of his car while i, at the top of my lungs sang out, . . . . JEM. . . jem is excitement. . ooohoh jem, glamour and glitter fashion and fame. . . jem! is truly outrageous truly truly truly outrageous whoa jem!. . . . (changing to snotty skanky voice) we are the misfits, the misfits, our songs are better, we are the misfits, the misfits. . . and we're gonna get her!

now if you remember the cartoon. . . the final pose of jem is with one hand straight up in the air (i think) on the last chord of JEM!. . . yup. . . can you see me doing it? well if you need a little help. . . on tv it looked something like this

and if you really wanna dive into it. . . when jem was herself, and not the rock and roll hologram created by synergy. . . her father's computerized holographic machine, her name was jerrica. . . jerrica. . . erika. . .this is no mere coincidence!. . . .

just kidding. . .

yes.. . . i know. . . a wonderfully proud day for me and those that know me. :)

anyway. . . . thought y'all might enjoy that. . . hope you are well.

"and we'll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere . . .and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys."


we've gotten our first snow here in santa fe. . . and it will stick for at least a day. . . very heavy and wet. . .HUGE snowflakes. all the trees are bent because they didn't lose all their leaves yet. but in light of my first drive to work in the snow, i've composed a haiku to my windshield wipers.

unobstructed view
highway muck is wiped away
i hate suv's

that's it for now. . . i'll try to snap off some shots and post them tomorrow maybe.

"and we'll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere . . .and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys."


my so called addiction to tv

i don't have cable.

this isn't exactly a bad thing. although i really miss southpark, queer eye for the straight guy, daily show with jon stewart *ahhh, jon*. . . and many others.

last summer i didn't have cable, and i read a ton of books. i even went back to having cable and retired early to my room to read! however. . . that slowly waned. . . right as i got rid of cable. then i was missing all these shows that i somehow needed to see. (by the way. . . tv is my biggest drug. . . . i admit it unashamed. . .. but in parentheses)

my former roommate (hi swon! hope things are good in korea. . . kick butt on your interviews!) moved in just after winterbreak. i spent time at my parents' during winter break. . . they have digital cable *drool* i became addicted to hbo programming. . . then i discovered netflix, where i can rent all the hbo shows. . . as long as they are released! how exciting! it started with sex in the city. a group of girls would congregate at my place and all gush and giggle over the show. but then we ran out! no more shows on dvd! so i decided i had heard some good talk about sopranos. my roommate came home one evening while i was watching and excailmed that she didn't understand why people always talked about this show! she was only taking one class, and spent most of her time at home sketching, swatching, painting, and writing. she was left alone with the infamous dvds. i started coming home to her watching and catching up with me on different soprano episodes. then finally we were even and watching them together. . . and she would watch and rewatch them. . . with commentary, without. . . while working. . . until i sent them away for another set. (she is now a complete convert.... . who finds tony soprano very cute. . . which i analysed by telling her that she found him attractive because his character protects the women he cares about, even though his 'caring' involves gunfire and cheating on his wife)

alas. . . we ran out of sopranos. . . and decided to move on. but i couldn't imagine it getting any better. . . but lets try out this six feet under. wow now the other shows are really great don't get me wrong. . . but this show really caters to my dark quirky humor. it's really amazing. another friend (hey sara!) got a little upset that swon and i would get ahead of her in the episodes because our schedules didn't connect well. and by the way all you people over at hbo programming---who, i am sure tune into this blgo like it is gospel--i'm still waiting for another season of this show to be released. i'm starting to get the shakes so hurry it up.

so by this summer. . . i'd gotten though all the aforementioned and decided to try oz. oz is an incredible show. . . and the narrative is so clever and intriguing. but i suggest for those weak of heart, try sopranos first. . . if you find it too violent. . . maybe oz is not the show for you.

over the summer, my friend sara (as mentioned earlier) and i caught up together on the back episodes of six feet under. . then, she being a big fan of the bbc. . . she hooked me up with red dwarf (very inventive and fun) and coupling. both shows are fabulous! (and the british version of coupling is soooooooooo much better than the american that was just properly cancelled).

where was i going with this? oh yeah. . i have no cable.

the gym i go to has cable. i can stay on the treadmill while watching mtv. . . not my first choice, but it makes the shakes subside :)

i got caught up in the best of broadway on bravo. a show that had singers and actors from different genres singing their favorite broadway hits. it was really well done. . .and well. . . i didn't quite realize that it was going to last 2 hours. i had already been on the treadmill for about 20 minutes. after an hour and a half of the program, it started to slow down. . . and i wasn't as interested in the performers. so about 2 hours after getting on the treadmill. . (granted, i was only speedwalking) i went to finish the rest of my workout. and for the rest of the day. . . my lower back and ass hurt.

yes ladies and gentlemen. . . this is the price one pays when they don't have cable. they---being me----put themselves through physical tortures in order to get the one small cable fix that they need during the week. and what i'm left with is. . . . .

i have no cable. . ..
my ass hurts. . . . .

hope you have a nice day.

"and we'll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere . . .and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys."