lets build a snowman!

here's an online game to do so. . . . but for some reason it crashes a lot on me. . .
snoman game that crashes but is still fun

and here's the lyrics froma song that you can hum while playing. . . it's from cannibal the musical. . . :?

Swan: [slow] Sometimes... the world is black, and tears run from your eyes
And maybe we'll all get... really sick. And maybe we'll all die...

[fast] Let's build a snowman. We can make him our best friend.
We can name him Tom, we can name him George.
We can make him tall, or we can make him not so tall.

He'll have a happy face, a happy smile, a happy point of view!
If you build me a snowman, then I'll build one for you!

So, let's build a snowman. We can make him our best friend.
We can name him Bob, or we can name him Beowulf.
We can make him tall, or we can make him not so tall.


He'll have a happy face, a happy smile, a happy point of view!
If you build me a snowman, then I'll build one for you!


here's something completely silly and fun. . .

farting doughboy

have a good one!


for those of you wondering. . . i have plans to fly to providence, ri. . . where my brother will pick me up on the 21st. we'll travel up home to good old colton sometime for christmas, then back to boston for new years. . . in other words, i'll be in the north east from the 21st till the 3rd. . . so i hope to see all the people i can. . . .
ok. . . now, the other part of my weekend. one of my coworkers, tracy, asked if i was interested in going out to dinner with a few people and then heading out to espanola for their christmas parade. . . . i did make that face that made her say something to the effect that it wasn't going to be as cheesy as i thought. . . that it was really a good time, and the whole town sets out to outdo one another, sometimes just covering their low-riders in christmas lights and parading them around. . . and since i had nothing else better to do, i agreed. i ended up having a really good time. . . and well, here's a shot of what i think was the most impressive float. . . it's part of of some cement company. . . and the articulated arm on the vehicle was made out to be a set of flying reindeer which worked so well. . .

with the action of the arm it seemed like there was a set of reindeer diving and climbing through the sky with st. nick close behind. there were a bunch of really cute ones, like a toy train set all lit up. . . made from a riding lawn mower. . . and several others, but many of my pictures were blurred. there was one other, rather fantasic set up with a float in back that had a snowmaking machine spitting out snow along the way, and a small working ferris wheel and merry-go-round. . . this is a shot of the merry-go-round.

the whole time sitting on the road median, wrapped in blankets, i passed around some of my freshly made (mom's recipe) rum balls. . ..which, believe it or not, kept us a little warmer!

there was the potential of going to a tamale making party the next morning. . . but jared and i both had a few other things to accomplish before setting out for sunday night's festivities. . .

i don't know what it's called (and it does have a name, i just can't think of it) but sunday there was a 'reinactment' of mary and joseph traveling to find a safe place to have the baby jesus. . . .apparently it's done every year. people gather in the plaza, and two people dressed as mary and joseph lead a group of singers and a couple of guitar players around the plaza knocking on doors seeking shelter. (i also don't know what they were singing, and it being in spanish, and me being an american who has only partially learned some french in highschool. . . i was only able to hum along) anyway. . . as mary and joseph approach different doorways and knock a devil pops out from the rooftop above and yells back at them inspanish that they are unable to stay here. . . . or something like that---again. . . me no speaketh spanish.

it's a little hokey. . . especially the devil, which has people shining flashlights on him, all dressed in red with some sort of face painting going on. but a fun kind of hokey. when he shows up and yells at the couple. . . . all the audience people, candles in hand boo and hiss at him. . .. then mary and joseph proceed to the next house. . . . they do this until they come to the palace of the governor's where they are finally admitted. . .. everyone cheers, and we are all invited in as well to sing christmas carols and drink hot cider.

here's a shot of the hokey devil. . . it was really dark . . . my flash wasn't reaching him, so i photoshopped it a bit, just to make it visible. . .

anyway. . . . that was my weekend. hope you all had fun!
so. . . the end of last week was all about the christmas parties. first there was a staff party/dinner held at this shwanky restaurant called vanessie. . . we all got out of work a couple of hours earlier in order to clean up before the party. . . you know how dirty us production people are!

there was drinks, dinner, raffle awards, and christine brewer singing christmas carols (i guess she's a big name opera singer)

overall, very lovely.

i spent the next couple of days preparing for the poshy christmas party held in the scene shop for the donors of the opera. . . now why they like having it in the scene shop, as opposed to the brand new rehearsal space, stieren hall, i don't know. beautiful hardwood floors. . . heating. . . . clean and readily available bathrooms. . . i guess these donor people like to pretend to rough it, by having us open the bathrooms that are closed for the season. . . clean the entire shop (including moving our tool cage into the basement, and all the work tables into the props shop, or the basement) and decorate it with different pieces of scenery from this past summer, and jerry rigged lighting. (oh. . .and close off the hallways to the bathrooms so we can set up heaters there too!)

there was one 'fun' moment when one of the shop guys was moving a 55 gallon drum of flex glue from the scene shop into the propr shop. . . he hit a rack in the floor and the whole 55 gallons of glue went spilling onto the floor. everyone arrived shortly after his cries for help and grabbed dustpans, shovels, and a squeegie to gather up what we could. . . we ended up getting about 50 of the 55 gallons back. . . not bad. . . and an interesting way to spend the first 45 minutes of the morning. . . after wading in the glue i had to walk around with paper glued to my sneakers so i wouldn't leave a glue track around the shop, until i got to clean the bottom of my sneakers.

then i got to know the inside of the mao walls much better than this past summer. these walls are about 25 feet high and 25 feet wide, maybe. . . with a space about 8 feet wide in the middle for us to crawl around in. (there are wood supports throughout that create this twisted not so fun inside jungle gym) for this past summer we had to wire the inside for these really 'cool' cold cathode tube lights that were inset in the set piece. . . well, i got to climb around the inside to rewire it a bit for the christmas party. . . then again today to unwire it because we found out we can now scrap the walls. . . . after all the wiring was out. . . the carpenters took great pleasure in pushing the walls over and letting them float/fall onto their bellies (there is quite a bit of air resistance to them) so they could cut them all up and toss them out!

anyway. . .i'll have a bit more. . . in a bit.


GEORGE CARLIN POST 9-11 (His wife recently died...)
i realize this one has been back and forth over the internet. . . but i thought it was worth another read. . . .

Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - mouthy comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent .and so very appropriate post 9-11. A wonderful Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.

We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.

We've added years to life not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.

We conquered outer space but not inner space.

We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.

We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less.

We plan more, but accomplish less.

We've learned to rush, but not to wait.

We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.

These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we
take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don't send this to at least 8 people.... who cares?

-George Carlin


The idea for this next entry came from me trying to come up with an inventive way of writing to a friend of mine. I like to make letters kinda fun and special, and i thought I would use music to help me out. I picked a bunch of songs, and categorized them into different moods. . . then I did quite a bit of editing of the songs. I cut them down to only a choice few. . . . then, after creating the discs. . . I listened to them and started writing in a stream of consciousness style. After starting I realized that I wanted to share this with more than one person. . . so, why not blog it. . .. maybe someone else will read it and enjoy it?

I will preface this by saying some of it contains embarrassment, it contains sappiness, it contains pain, and it contains delight. I mentions some friends, and a few I refuse to name, or talk about much anymore. I'm not protecting the innocent. . . just myself (pride, ego, etc.)

Sadly. . . . you all won't have all the music I reference. . . . I guess, if someone wants it. . . I can copy it, and maybe send it out for Christmas. . . . . keep in mind, there will be more to come!

So here goes. . . . I'll title it, my life through music, part one. . . the kindasad album.

#1 break your heart (bare naked ladies) I think I like the first line of this the most, the bravest thing I've ever done was to run away and hide.-then, the weakest thing I've ever done was to stay right by your side. I've known so many people who stayed with their boyfriend, or girlfriend when the best thing would be for them to leave---or people who stayed in any kind of bad situation out of fear or some feeling of obligation. My family sometimes has a bad habit of staying in bad job situations for too long---but we're trying to break that chain. My aunt made a brave move and left a job where the people didn't respect her enough and where they wouldn't promote her, and where she didn't have enough time to spend with her kids. . . . so she left. . . and now she has a job where she has plenty of time for her family and where her co-workers treat her well. My mom did it as well. .. she wasn't feeling right at my highschool and was fighting a lot of wrongful opposition. . . so she left. It's such a big risk, and it's so scary. . but I'm sure my mom is happier at SLU (college) now. . . and I guess that's why I ended up at KSU. I wanted to leave my job in Virginia. . . . I was feeling so burnt out and not seeing any sort of happy ending to it, so I went back to school. My stupid pride makes me feel like I have to follow through, even half-assedly.

#2 china (tori amos) I really love the way she twists the meanings of words throughout this song. She speaks of distance between people both metaphorically and physically, and how distance-bring intangible somehow weighs so heavily on us. I can feel the distance getting close. Doesn't seem like it makes sense logically. . . but my heart understands it. Then she changes from china the country, to china, the dinnerware setting. . and draws a parallel between the unnoticeable cracks in the plates to the fractured lives of the people in the song. I also always thought I made a pretty good job of building the great wall to protect me. Sometimes I think you want me to touch you, how can I when you build the great wall around you?

#3 don't give up (peter Gabriel w/ kate bush) for a long time throughout college, this song was on a lot of my mix tapes. It could be a strength song as well. Don't give up cause you have friends, don't give up you're not beaten yet, don't give up I know you can make it. It really could've been a strength song, but something about kate's voice feels a little sad (but maybe that's because of another song of hers that appears on this mix) don't give up you're not the only one, don't give up, we're proud of who you are. We're proud of you who are. . . similar if not word for word something that my dad wrote on my birthday card when I turned 25. my mom usually writes the cards, so I was surprised to see his handwriting on the inside. Usually they only say things like that when I'm having a rough time, and feeling doubtful of myself. . but this was unsolicited. I felt a little weird turning 25, having recently left my job to start grad school. . . . not having many friends (I stayed a little distant my first year)-- but overall ok. . . just weird at the number 25. seeing what my dad wrote though brought me to instant tears of happiness.

#4 the end of the world (bill frisell and some chick singing. . . bill frisell is the guitarist) oddly enough --not!---this came into my possession during a dance concert. My senior year at emerson I had a majestic (the theatre, not the assignment) sound design. I was soooo nervous. . . but determined to do a good job. The concert was a first time collaboration between the theatre and dance department in that a theatre director chose a book to base the story of the dance on. She chose a story about the failed explorations to the north pole by annie dillard (sp?) as the plot, then the choreographers broke the story down into different dance pieces. For the 'ariel piece' done on ropes, I digitally composed a piece of music using some of the frisell soundtrack. . . processed it forwards and backwards, added reverb and loops. . . and came up with a piece of music that was very well received. I don't remember what part of the dance this piece was from for sure. . . but I think it was when the explorers realized they wouldn't find their destination. My sound board operator for the show had a problem during one of the performances. It was at the very beginning of a cute 'penguin' dance. One soloist came out to start the piece, and she was to be followed by more penguins when the next phrase of the music kicked in. . .. . but the music stopped right then. The cd skipped. She soloist gracefully exited, then came back on just as gracefully to start again when the music started from the top. Only people who knew the show had any idea. . . and I thought the dancer made a brilliant recovery- she somehow knew when to leave and return at the exact break in the music. . . even though it wasnt planned! I was first terrified for my board op and her. . . then completely amazed! But I digress. . . the actual song, which I think has been covered by quite a few people. . . is very sad. Why do the birds go on singing, don't they know, it's the end of the world, it ended when I lost your love. . . . why does my heart go on beating, why do these eyes of mine cry? Don't they know it's the end of the world, it ended when you said goodbye. (the show, however, I count as one of my greatest triumphs at my undergrad)

#5 I will remember you. (Sarah McLaughlin) OK, so here is my sappy dawson's creek moment. I swear I think I only ever watched maybe 6 episodes. I'm so tired I can't sleep, standing on the edge of something much too deep, its funny how we feel so much we can't say a word, we are screaming inside but can't be heard. ---really who hasn't felt like this? Honestly, this isn't one of my all time, 'must have around me songs', it's just the title that fits with some recent partings between me and my friends. It seems to fit well in that sad category.

#6 I won't say I'm in love (sun by Megera in the Disney movie, Hercules.) -ok, here's a lighter song to make up for some of the heavier ones. And I'd be lying if I didn't say that this song in one of my theme songs. . . if only I could sing like her! I wish I could belt this one out with the back up singers 'sha-la-la-ing' behind me! as soon as I find a guy that fancy, I stay as far away from him as I can, outta sight outta mind. . . and never, never would I say the word love about any such person. Part of that is because it's so easy to say something and not mean it, I'm far more keen on actions, and the other part is how devastating it would be to say it and have someone hear it . . . then it's somehow made more real and you can't take it back so. . . I won't say I'm in love, . . . no chance, no way, I won't say it. . . get off my case, . . I won't say I'm in love. . . at least out loud, I won't say I'm in love.

#7 I miss you (incubus) ok, another song that I mostly picked for the title. But would I be out of line, if I said I missed you? --the one thing I did ever say to a boy I really faincied ---or thought I fancied, I went home for a quick break one summer. He drove me to the bus depot so I wouldn't have to leave so early and take the train. He gave me a long hug and I turned away and hastily got on the bus. I was a little pissed, he almost made me late. While I was at home he left a couple of messages on my voicemail. . . I returned the favor, and at the end , through tears, I told him I missed him. He wasn't mine to love, but I could miss him. . . I allowed myself that much indiscretion.

#8 reflection (sung by mulan in the Disney movie of the same name) first off, I want to say, cheesy as the song may be. . . lea salonga (or whatever her name is) has an incredible voice. . . one of the few things I genuinely envy in the world. Somehow I cannot hide, who I am, though I've tried. . . when will my reflection show, who I am inside? To start, who isn't scared that who they truly are isn't 'good enough'. . .. for the job, for the family, for the boy, for the girl?. . . secondly, anyone who as ever been made fun of, shunned, ostracized. . . whatever, for not having the 'right' looks. . . wonders when will people see me for who I am, and not for the size of clothes I wear, the style of my hair, the music I listen to, the bars I do or don't hang out in. . . why is my reflection someone I don't know?
I'm also reminded of one of my first classes at kent where one of my good friends, swon, confessed to running into difficult bits after moving to kent, which is a very white bread area that wasn't used to people of different cultures and how- being Korean- swon was mistaken for mulan by a young girl in a grocery store, because that was the only asian reference she had.

#9 I'm going to go back there someday (sung by gonzo in one of the muppet movies) there's something about the quality of his voice that makes it so touching. I've never been there, but I know the way. I'm going to go back there someday. Come and go with me, it's more fun to share. . . there's not a word yet for old friends that just met. Not to be deep, but I think it's about home, for me. . . wherever that is. I want all the people I love to be there. . . wherever there is.

#10 rainbow connection (sung by Kermit in the first muppet movie) so much of my childhood involved the muppets (for a long time, the time immediately following the muppet show was known as bedtime), I had to include this song. Even thought it might not be really sad, there is something kind of somber to it. My closest friend from highschool, dan, knows everything about the muppets, and he's the reason I got excited about them again in college. I would tape the shows while I was away at class, then watch them later. I didn't realize watching them as a kid, how intelligent they were. I remember how upset dan was when jim Henson died suddenly. He recorded hours and hours of news clips all day about it.
And something another friend, Sarah, pointed out to me, (something I kinda already knew) so many girls I know, including myself, are kind of like miss piggy. Always in pursuit of Kermit, who is constantly running away from us. --but they do end up getting married, so perhaps there's hope for all the miss piggy's out there, who feel llike they are hopelessly chasing Kermit. Who said that every wish would be heard and answered When wished on the morning star? Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it, And look what it's done so far.

#11 roads (portishead) this song kind of feels like an irish or Scottish dirge (to me at least). . .but without the bagpipes. . . at least in the beginning. The sound is so full and heavy, and her voice seems so frail against it. We've got a war to fight here, never found our way. I first heard this song in the movie tank girl- which became one of those theme movies I liked to watch whenever I felt like I was fighting something larger than me. Both tank girl, and jet (the main characters) are really kick ass girls. The fashion in it is quirky and trendy. . and forever in flux. For a while, when I would go into technical rehearsal, I would see them kind of like battles. . . which required me to wear the proper gear. I would cut the toes out of a pair of striped knee socks, and wear them on my elbows, like tank girl. . . and feel stronger, but I also found that it kept my elbows warm when I only wore a t-shirt in a dark theatre.

#12 I will not take these things for granted (toad the wet sprocket) one part of me just wants to tell you everything, . . . one part just needs the quiet. And if I'm lonely here, I'm lonely here. .. . and on the telephone, you offer reassurance. Well, I think that's how I always feel when I'm emotional over anything. I don't like discussing my emotions-- I like to gain some time and distance from them so I can deal with them more logically, with more objectiveness. So when someone asks me what's wrong?. . . I am caught between saying everything in my head, and just staying quiet. I remember listening to this when I was having trouble with a boy "who will not be named". .. he always talked about his feelings - it was kind of annoying, and at the same time, I was really jealous, that he felt confident and strong enough to reveal his feelings. I never felt strong like that. How can I hold the part of me, that only you can carry, I need some strength I haven't found. You know how when you fancy someone, and you become close to them, suddenly, if you don't hear from them for a whole day, you feel all depressed? Like you can't have a good day without their presence? I hated feeling that dependant on him! But I guess I finally got the strength I needed.
This song also has a nice meaning though. . .. I've just attached all these bad memories to it. Flowers in the garden, laughter in the hall, children in he car, dive into the ocean, standing in the bedroom, roaring canyons. . . I will not take these things for granted. --I'd like to live my life like that. Where I make special moments of all those small things that you only miss when you don't have them.
On a completely other note, this is also from the album that was playing the morning my house caught fire in highschool. I remember the power going out for short periods of time all morning due to the blizzard that hit us early that morning. I kept waking up to push play on my stereo, and start the music again. I could go into a very sad story about how my kitten, Artemis, woke me up in time for me to realize there was a fire so I could get out of my room. . . and she died. ---but I won't right now. . . .still feel guilty for not grabbing her when I ran out.

#13 this woman's work (kate bush) well, if the last song didn't make me cry enough remembering my most love pet, this song will put me over the edge. This is the saddest song I know. I should be crying but I just canĂ¢€™t let it show. I first heard this song in a movie, I think it was called, she's having my baby, with Kevin bacon. His wife has complications with the birth and this song is in the background while doctors are trying to save her, and he's outside. .. .waiting. I know you have a little life in you yet, I know you have a lot of strength left. As a drop of blood falls on the operating room, a tear falls in the waiting room. Give me these moments back, give them back to me. I forgot about the song till college, and I was watching party of five with my roommate, jen. One of the characters (bailey) got in a car wreck while driving under the influence, and put his girlfriend in the hospital. He's crying and staring at her in the hospital bed. . . of course this is when he decided to get help for his alcoholism. . . but that song! It really sticks to me.
It speaks so strongly to my sense of regret. . . all those things I should've said that I never said, all those things I should've done but I never did. . . it's such a lamentful song, and so soft at the same time. Pray god you can cope. . . . make it go away.

And yes it was another song I played a lot after I left a boy I fancied I know you have a little life in you yet, I know you have a lot of strength left. . . I was trying to convince myself, that I didn't need him. . . and I didn't----need him that is. Just make it go away. But it doesn't stop me from breaking out into tears while listening to this song. All the regrets she sings about in the end reverberate until she says make them go away now.

#14 until that time (skott freedman) this was the guy that my mom heard and praised after his visit to slu college. . . then I went to his very small concert at kent. (slightly more uplifting from the last song) he had to play on an electric keyboard. . . the sound was bad, and the lights were terrible! But he's a good piano player and a ocuple of his songs are really strong. One of my former students was the head of the gay and lesbian association that sponsored his concert. He was rather loud and mouthy in class, the student that is. . . he annoyed a lot of the other students, and me sometimes, but he kept me on my toes. . . and he had a genuine enthusiasm. He was really glad to see me there. Well I know that you're hurting, and I know that you're crying, and I know that you're lonely, and I know you know you're not the only one. But soon, again, my friend, you'll find you're way back to the sun. and until that time I'll be the hand for you to hold. And until that time feel free to cry on my shoulder, you'll be all right. We'll both be all right.


so i think i have a pretty good idea for a reality tv series. . . it'll be called, "bitch begone" i will be the host, of course, and will work and consult with a panel of my friends-which will vary depending on who is available. at first i had thought about it in accordance with highschool reunions. . . but in order to keep it fresh, i think i'll have to incorporate family get togethers, perhaps work environments, maybe sorority houses!. . . oooohhhhh. . .that's good. . . just came up with it too :)

anyway, here's how the show works. put these people in close quarters for, let's say, a month. . . maybe more. make it a pretty good vacation setting. after the politeness wares off (if there was any to begin with). . . the bitchiness begins! of course there are tons of cameras recording all the people's actions and foul behaviour. every so often for the first week, i step in and check to see how people are doing. . . and i suppose there will have to be tasks to accomplish. at first. . . -having had my share of terrible roommates, i thought just having people care for their living space would be enough. . . you'll get that person who never does the dishes, and another who makes too much racket when people are sleeping, another who hogs the bathroom, and another who lets things rot in the trash creating a stench that upon walking into the room causes one to dry heave then blames it on your prepackaged asian food. . . when really, it was her foul bbq leftovers which after having some to eat she threw the rest into the garbage to let rot and create a stench, then after you discover the origin of the stench and remove it, you get the late, discreet, but somewhat wonderful gratification of watching said roommate make several trips to the bathroom with a sick stomach. . . that's what you get for eating rotten meat and letting it fester in the garbage you stupid twat!

where was i? oh yeah. . . there will be several different types of annoying bitchy type people who will emerge in the group. but i suppose i should work on some of those survivor type games and tasks. . . .

anyway, after my friends and i start categorizing the bitchy from the non-bitchy. . . we hold interviews with the non-bitchy to get a clear idea of their stance in the household. the one main difference about this show is that the non-bitchy will be rewarded. if you aren't backstabbing, snooty, or ill tempered. . . . you will end up moving on to a higher level. . . kind of like karma in a can. if you prove yourself to be a genuinely caring and kind person, your vacation getaway will continue to improve.

i figure i'll start it by moving the non-bitchy out of the house, and into a nicer one. . . with only the non-bitchy as companions. i'd also like this to be a safe haven for those who let the bitchy walk all over them. perhaps in this envisonment they will grow a spine without wanting retaliation.

after two days away from the bitchy. . . i will approach they bitchy and let them in on the fact that the others have been rewarded and have moved to better accommodations where they are being pampered and living in bliss. i will then show them video footage of their own nasty behavior. . . (which i won't show to the non-bitchy. . . because i don't feel it is necessary, and in the end would be hurtful toward their feelings, and would possibly make them less accepting of the next phase.) after showing the bitchy the video proof of their bitchiness. . . i will explain the situation and tell them that they are allowed another chance. for the next 48 hours they are allowed to contemplate their behaviour and choose whether or not they want to change. at the end of the 48 hours, if they don't care to move on, they are excused from the game. . . if they want to make a conserted effort to be a better person, then they move in with the non-bitchy on a 5 day trial period. . . during which time my panel of friends, as well as the non-bitchy assess their progress. then, after 5 days they are either voted in or out. this all takes place in about 3 weeks.

so, there's a two week gestation period where the bitchy and non-bitchy are formed and emerge from their cocoons. . . after 2 days of separation, 2 days of contemplation and meditation (i wonder how many more -ation words i can fit in this) and a 5 day trial there is another whole week of cohabitation (yes!. . .one more). after that week, my panel and i will make one final decision. . . then those who make the final cut. . . which may be everyone, are sent on a luxury type vacation.

i realize that being nice, humble, and 'good' isn't quite the stuff that normal tv drama is made of. . . . but there would be plenty of drama as we weed out the bitchy, then watch their cathartic confessions of wrongdoing to the non-bitchy. . .and the cameras. . . and i think. . . a wonderful, caring, loving, supportive feeling that could become a societal model. (is societal a word?---anyway)

imagine. . . people ---being rewarded for not being complete jackasses!

which reminds me. . . . i realize that 'bitchy' wouldn't describe all the nasty people on the show . . . it is somewhat gender biased. . . so those that don't wish to be 'bitchy'. . . but are. . . will be known as jackasses. it's just that 'bitch begone' seemed like a really great title.

anyway. . . there it is. .. .and for all you major tv execs out there looking for the next big thing. . . . here it is. . .. and i'll look forward to your phone call.


so, today i take my brother to the airport so that he may return to boston.

we've cooked, roamed the town, watched what can only be described as a shit-ton of movies, and lounged at the santa fe baking company while surfing online, and dan has had separate adventures while i've been at work- visiting the tent rocks in cochiti on monday, and white place in abiquiu yesterday. . .

monday evening dan, jared, and i went out to dinner so dan could have an oasis cafe experience. . . . we had a small snack before showing up. the food at oasis is good, but it is wise to not go hungry. . . the waiting staff is kind of free spirited, and well. . . you may have to remind them that you ordered a pale ale several times. . . and when the waiter tells the table next to you that they are out of the pale ale you can ask, "but i'm still getting mine, right?". . . at which time, you'll get to choose a different beverage. we ate in the womb room. . . . a very warm colored sparcely lit room with coffee tables to eat at (which jared and i thought reminded us a little more of our apartment then we cared to admit) and pillows covering the floor to sit upon. . .. there's also a lofted space on half the room . . . so the lounging is double decker.

the other rooms include an eastern tea room?- not quite sure if that was what it was called. . . the renaissance room, which has more refined looking furniture. . . . and the mushroom room. . . which i had eaten in before. . .as i remember it, it was kinda decorated in an alice in wonderland sort of way, also having some lofted spaces, so you could eat with your head practically touching the ceiling. there is an outdoor bar with a seating area as well, but it was a bit chilly to partake of that area.

last night dan and i went for sushi at kohnami. . .. i took him there this past summer as well, but in that six months, i guess the place had a facelift. . . it looked like a much more posh establishment, and the prices were a bit higher. . . . although i liked the new zen garden across from the door you enter from. . . i kinda miss that funkiness it had. . . where you could draw on your placemat with the crayons found at every table. . . and if your picture was well liked, it could end up on the wall. now the place is pretty, a lot more traditional looking. . . . but not quite as quirky. . .. however, the sushi was still pretty amazing (even though we are in a landlocked state).

but now, it's time for dan to pack up his things and fly back home. the plethora of cables, ports, recording media, and computer parts on the coffee table will disperse. . . dan will take his half with him, and i'll put my newly larger part away probably sometime tonight. i'll return to the gym after work- i've skipped it the past week and a half in order to spend all my free time with dan. it will be good to get back into my routine. . . and the gym will probably help the slight depression i'll have when dan leaves. . .. never was much good at that. . . . used to cry my eyes out after a friend left over a sleep over. . . . should've seen me at the final puss lounge party after three years at kent. . . what a sad but wonderful mess.

anyway. . . that's all for today.


i had this thought of posting the script to a play i wrote almost exactly a year ago. it was for out final in playwrighting. . . . a ten minute play that we had to find actors to read for. we then had an evening of all the plays from the class. it was a great time. the one play i thought in would use wasn't doing well as far as my teacher was concerned so i tried to write a new one. . . but that one flopped, then, over thanksgiving i wrote the one below. sadly, the readings were to take place the evening of the first day of school when we were back from thanksgiving. . . i had already asked a couple of my friends to read for me, and they accepted and took home the old script. . . cliff (an grad acting student) and jovana (one of my former lighting students). .. so i don't think they were really pleased about a brand new script that monday morning. . . . so when they said that they would only sit and read at a table i thanked them, but felt bad. . . since the entirety of the action involves walking around a chair. . . and well, if you read on, you'll see that it is rather integral to the story. however. . . .right before going on jovana came over to me, gave me a wink and said. . . we're gonna get on our feet and do it. . . i was overjoyed. . . as well as really nervous for them.

as it turned out though. . . they did an incredible job. . . both of them caught the voices of the characters so well. . . . i remember wishing more people had been able to attend. . . but i guess i just have to keep the memory for myself. . . and the group that was there.

anyway. . . here's the play.

Becoming a Minor Echelon Superhero:
Part 4

A Scene

By Erika Kissam

GAIL: simply, casually dressed. Intelligent woman.
KIRK: casually dressed. A precise and intelligent man.

The present.

A bare room containing one chair. There is a door to one side. The lighting is stark but not harsh.

(Lights up on GAIL and KIRK circling around the lone chair in a barren room. They have been at this 'game' for several hours now. They have cycled through anxiousness, boredom, anger, and pleasantries. They have become more at ease with each other as they continue their 'game' Each time a buzzer sounds they race to be the first to sit in the chair. It is a game of musical chairs without the music.)

Did you say you were from Texas?

Yeah. Just outside of Dallas.

So, you came to the East Coast for all the glory of this?

Look, I know you are trying to be nice and all, but I'd really like to focus on the objective.

Come on! You know it is not going to be like this in the real world. There will be outside influences, and distractions, so you might as well get used to them.

It really doesn't pertain to what-

(BUZZZZZZZZZ- they both race to the chair. KIRK wins and sits triumphantly on it while the GAIL remains calm.)

43 to 46.

Are you sure? I thought it was 44 to 45.

Please! You know it is 43 to 46, this is our forte. We should at least be able to keep track of a few numbers.
(Both get up and start to pace around the chair again.)

(feeling a little more at ease.)
Did you do well on the written portion of the exam?

Well, the only way we are both here is because we were tied in the 99th percentile.

Right, but the written only counts for 30 percent.
(GAIL is bored by the line of questioning.)
The practicum credit counts for 50 percent. And then there are 20 style points.

Kirk, I took the exam, the entire thing, just like you. We've both been training for this for the better half of our lives; don't you think I know the breakdown of points for the exam?

Yeah, but how did you do on the-
(BUZZZZZZZ- they both race for the chair, this time GAIL is first to the chair. KIRK dusts himself off a bit and composes himself before the two continue to circle the chair.)

(pointing to herself)
44 to
(pointing to KIRK)
46. Not much of a gap.

Do you think this is the last of the tie-breakers?

Who knows?

So, how did you do on the written?

For the love! 30, I got a 30!

Perfect score. I only got a 29.

Then you must have done better than me on the practicum course.

50 of 50.

I only got a 45. That would put you significantly ahead of me.
(She stops momentarily to go over the situation.)
I was four full points behind you. Did you blow it on style?

Keep going.

There's nowhere else to go to tally the score from except style.

No, keep moving . . . around the chair.
(They slowly continue around the chair and KIRK waves with a silly apologetic smile at a two way mirror found somewhere over the audience.)

Yes I blew it on style. Remember that last section of-

(BUZZZZZZZ- again they race to the chair and again GAIL is the first to sit. KIRK berates himself as they continue to circle the chair.)

Dammit. I knew I should've kept focus. I wasn't paying enough attention. I just kept talking and-

(BUZZZZZZ- KIRK makes it to the chair first. He lets out an exasperated laugh as if he's defeated the buzzer and shakes a gesture at the mirror letting the 'buzzers' know he's got them beat.)

(Continuing the circle.)
Nice recovery. That makes it 45 to 47. Same gap as before, just a little closer to the end.

They are trying to drive us mad. Do you think they will actually stop at 100 and declare one of us winner and hand us our official notification of superhero status? Not likely. It may be a test of endurance. They'll go far past 100. Just keep us running around in circles until one of us goes insane, or collapses, or rips through the two-way mirror!

Relax. Maybe it's time to change direction again.

On my count this time. One, two, three!

(They change direction and simultaneously there is a BUZZZZZZ. Gail sits down quickly. Stands up and they resume their new direction.)

I'm sorry, that was cheap.

(Quietly angry.)
I agree. Never the less, 46 to 47.

What were you saying earlier about the style points?

They count for 20 percent.

No, about how you blew it?

Oh, that last section.

The M&M's?

The infamous M&M's. I froze, completely panicked and froze. I had been doing so well up until that section. The magazine rack I organized in record time. The postcards stand I completed with complete artistry. I was whipping through them. Maybe I got cocky. But I got to the M&M's and panicked.

What's your technique of sorting?

I always go for alphabetical first.

So, you got to M&M's and -

-I saw a lot of little M's staring back at me and my heart began beating out of rhythm and I froze for a bit. How was I supposed to differentiate one M from another M? It was so defeating.

(Shaking her head.)
It's one of the drawbacks of alphabetical organization. It's such an American, Western approach. It's like always categorizing by numerical value.

I suppose there's a better way?

You need to take a more holistic approach to organization. There is some organization that needs to be done strictly aesthetically.

Are you joking?

The postcards stand for example. I bet you separated the postcards alphabetically by the last name of the artist responsible for the picture on the front.

Of course.

Well, your method may have been more efficient, but I surmise that I received style points for separating the photography from the painted works. Then I separated the photography into separate categories of black and white versus color. Then I separated those two into photographs of people versus photographs of landscapes.

How is that any better? The end result is similar.

People are searching for different things. Only randomly is there someone searching for a postcard with artwork by a particular artist. Most of the time they are looking for a particular subject matter. The artist doesn't play as great a-

(BUZZZZZ- Gail makes it to the chair. She shrugs, and the two continue to circle the chair.)

47, 47. If one of us were to screw up, this may be over in three more buzzes.

Have you already picked your name?

Ohmygod yes.
(Turning to her.)
You have to, don't deny it.

No, you're right. I have a name I picked.

I hate how we were discouraged not to pick names by the League. It's ridiculous. Most of us have had names picked since we were nine. Am I right?

Yeah, I even had my mom make me a costume with colors and a design that I made up to go along with my name.

So, give it up.

No way! I asked you first.

Okay, Sergeant Sort.

Nice, Sergeant Sort, it is commanding and descriptive. It really-
(BUZZZZZZ- KIRK is the winner. They stand up and continue.)

You think so?

Yeah. It gives you a real air of authority.
(BUZZZZZZZ- GAIL wins and they continue.)

So, what is your name?

God, there's something so exposing about actually saying it, now that I'm not in grade school.
(She takes a deep breath and releases it.)
Professor Pick-Up.

Wow. It's different. Not as harsh, but, damn it's stating your education in organization. I really like it.

It doesn't sound too uppity?

No, absolutely not. It-
(BUZZZZZ- KIRK wins and they continue.)

Well, thanks. I was always worried about it. I felt like I held onto it just because I made it up so long ago. But I don't think anything else would suit me.

I completely agree, and it doesn't sound too uppity.
(BUZZZZ- GAIL wins and they continue. 49 to 49.)

Not to sound depressing, but do you have a plan B? I mean, I know I do. I'd hate to think of what would happen if I relied solely on getting this superhero appointment, and then it didn't happen.

Actually. I've taken time off from my job in a library in order to take the exam.

Wow, it all becomes clear. Let me guess. You work the late shift. You wait till everyone has left then you race about finishing all the work in record time, and then relax and read or crochet or something for several hours before clocking out.

Close. You left out that I run around in my brightly colored cape, and afterward I have been creating a quarter inch scale of Dallas with an old erector set in the attic.

Impressive. What colors are the-
(BUZZZZZZ- GAIL wins and they continue. 50 to 49.)

So, how about you?-

I work part time in a record shop and part time in an artist gallery.

You're right, it does all fit together.

(BUZZZZZ- Kirk wins and they continue. 50 to 50.)

I want to say, that I honestly wish you the best.

Me too. If I came all this way to lose, I'm glad I've been pinned against you.
(They continue to circle in silence for a bit. Slowly they both slow down and stop. They look at each other and the two-way mirror.)

That was it wasn't it?

Split down the middle. 50 to 50.

Are they going to announce anything?

Maybe they lost track!
(Both giggle and have fun at the thought.)
HEY! Aren't we done?

We tied!

Yes, please move into room 45B for a competition in a game of horseshoes. Thank you.

Horseshoes?! I suck at horseshoes.

I'm terrible at it.

ps. . . we used my taboo game buzzer as the sound effect and joshua spencer played the part of the buzzer and the voice from the loud speaker.

hope you enjoyed it :o)