Blah-ditty-blah

so i think i have a pretty good idea for a reality tv series. . . it'll be called, "bitch begone" i will be the host, of course, and will work and consult with a panel of my friends-which will vary depending on who is available. at first i had thought about it in accordance with highschool reunions. . . but in order to keep it fresh, i think i'll have to incorporate family get togethers, perhaps work environments, maybe sorority houses!. . . oooohhhhh. . .that's good. . . just came up with it too :)

anyway, here's how the show works. put these people in close quarters for, let's say, a month. . . maybe more. make it a pretty good vacation setting. after the politeness wares off (if there was any to begin with). . . the bitchiness begins! of course there are tons of cameras recording all the people's actions and foul behaviour. every so often for the first week, i step in and check to see how people are doing. . . and i suppose there will have to be tasks to accomplish. at first. . . -having had my share of terrible roommates, i thought just having people care for their living space would be enough. . . you'll get that person who never does the dishes, and another who makes too much racket when people are sleeping, another who hogs the bathroom, and another who lets things rot in the trash creating a stench that upon walking into the room causes one to dry heave then blames it on your prepackaged asian food. . . when really, it was her foul bbq leftovers which after having some to eat she threw the rest into the garbage to let rot and create a stench, then after you discover the origin of the stench and remove it, you get the late, discreet, but somewhat wonderful gratification of watching said roommate make several trips to the bathroom with a sick stomach. . . that's what you get for eating rotten meat and letting it fester in the garbage you stupid twat!

where was i? oh yeah. . . there will be several different types of annoying bitchy type people who will emerge in the group. but i suppose i should work on some of those survivor type games and tasks. . . .

anyway, after my friends and i start categorizing the bitchy from the non-bitchy. . . we hold interviews with the non-bitchy to get a clear idea of their stance in the household. the one main difference about this show is that the non-bitchy will be rewarded. if you aren't backstabbing, snooty, or ill tempered. . . . you will end up moving on to a higher level. . . kind of like karma in a can. if you prove yourself to be a genuinely caring and kind person, your vacation getaway will continue to improve.

i figure i'll start it by moving the non-bitchy out of the house, and into a nicer one. . . with only the non-bitchy as companions. i'd also like this to be a safe haven for those who let the bitchy walk all over them. perhaps in this envisonment they will grow a spine without wanting retaliation.

after two days away from the bitchy. . . i will approach they bitchy and let them in on the fact that the others have been rewarded and have moved to better accommodations where they are being pampered and living in bliss. i will then show them video footage of their own nasty behavior. . . (which i won't show to the non-bitchy. . . because i don't feel it is necessary, and in the end would be hurtful toward their feelings, and would possibly make them less accepting of the next phase.) after showing the bitchy the video proof of their bitchiness. . . i will explain the situation and tell them that they are allowed another chance. for the next 48 hours they are allowed to contemplate their behaviour and choose whether or not they want to change. at the end of the 48 hours, if they don't care to move on, they are excused from the game. . . if they want to make a conserted effort to be a better person, then they move in with the non-bitchy on a 5 day trial period. . . during which time my panel of friends, as well as the non-bitchy assess their progress. then, after 5 days they are either voted in or out. this all takes place in about 3 weeks.

so, there's a two week gestation period where the bitchy and non-bitchy are formed and emerge from their cocoons. . . after 2 days of separation, 2 days of contemplation and meditation (i wonder how many more -ation words i can fit in this) and a 5 day trial there is another whole week of cohabitation (yes!. . .one more). after that week, my panel and i will make one final decision. . . then those who make the final cut. . . which may be everyone, are sent on a luxury type vacation.

i realize that being nice, humble, and 'good' isn't quite the stuff that normal tv drama is made of. . . . but there would be plenty of drama as we weed out the bitchy, then watch their cathartic confessions of wrongdoing to the non-bitchy. . .and the cameras. . . and i think. . . a wonderful, caring, loving, supportive feeling that could become a societal model. (is societal a word?---anyway)

imagine. . . people ---being rewarded for not being complete jackasses!

which reminds me. . . . i realize that 'bitchy' wouldn't describe all the nasty people on the show . . . it is somewhat gender biased. . . so those that don't wish to be 'bitchy'. . . but are. . . will be known as jackasses. it's just that 'bitch begone' seemed like a really great title.

anyway. . . there it is. .. .and for all you major tv execs out there looking for the next big thing. . . . here it is. . .. and i'll look forward to your phone call.