Blah-ditty-blah

my non-ghost story

not sure why, but i don't think i've relayed this one yet, and it came up in my mind (probably because of the sci-fi show that i can now enjoy with my cable. . 'ghost hunters'). . . so thought i'd share.

it was my first summer in kent, when i had to work at Porthole, sorry, i mean Porthouse. . . summer theatre company. i was befriending a bunch of people that were new to me. . . and somewhere down the line we got into ghost stories. the painter, i think his name was neil (terrible that i can't remember) mentioned that he liked to take people on this drive where they could see a ghost in a graveyard. he'd been doing it for about 5 years. . . and taken many a people out to this graveyard to see this ghost. i thought this sounded great. . . we could go ghost hunting! yipee. . .

as the story goes, this gray woman appears in the evening to watch over a grave- supposedly belonging to a loved one. i asked if anyone had seen her during the day, and no. . . no one had bothered to go out there during the day. then i asked how close anyone had gotten to her, and if anyone had attempted to make contact. .. . . no one had ever gotten out of the car. this absolutely needed some investigation.

it was me, another electrician -matt, the painter-neil, and the assistant technical director (i think his name was jason). we piled into neil's car and went on a decently lengthy ride. . . through a lot of rural land, twists and turns. definitely off the beaten path. i was armed pretty well, with a flashlight, a laser pointer, and some salt- (i'd heard it's rather protective and i though, better safe then sorry- JUST IN CASE) everyone was all gun ho about checking this out to the largest extent possible.

we approached the graveyard, and there she was. a tall gray figure leaning over a gravestone. we were all very excited. . . . neil made to turn around and make another pass and jason exclaimed that she was facing the other way on our first pass. . . i wasn't sure. . .. i wanted to get out and get a closer, and better look. and all of a sudden, matt and jason weren't up to getting out of the car. 'no, i'm not sure.' 'let's just head back.'. . . . blah blah blah. . . no we were getting out of the car and getting a closer look.

neil pulled into the small lot. and we all got out and started walking towards her. ok, now i may have seemed pretty ballsy, but i was completely nervous as well. . . what if she was a real ghost? how was i going to react to that? we made out way to her very slowly. i decided not to use a laser pointer, rationalizing that if she was a real ghosst that somehow pointing a laser beam into her would be rather disrespectful, and i didn't want to anger her. . . just in case. she kinda looked like stone. . . but it was so gray out, there was no decent defining light source to help out. . . we needed to get closer.

'guys, i think she's just a statue. . . i think.' i said it outloud, but had this image in my head. . . . her own head was facing downwards and was covered by a cascade of hair, so we couldn't see any facial features. . . but if you've seen the first ghostbuster movie then you might have an understanding for my mental image. each time i tried to imagine getting close enough to see her face, i envisioned her head upturning to reveal this hideously angry demonic face. . . kinda like that part in ghostbusters where they first encounter that librarian ghost and yell, 'get her' and she transforms into a rather scary entity. so even though i was verbally trying to convince the group and myself. . . . this image was slowing my feet a little.

we were then only a row of gravestones away from her. she was stone. . . .we were nearly completely sure. there was only one act to solidify it. someone needed to actually walk up and touch her. . . 'i'm not gonna touch her, you do it.' . . . 'uh huh. . . you!'. . . 'i dare you'. . . 'no way, i dare you!'. . . . you get the idea.

then suddenly a car was approaching. . . someone yelled that it was a cop. the group of us went to duck for cover. . . . matt and neil fled to the side, and jason and i ended up right at her feet. . . bumping into her. complete stone. a very sad looking figure standing over the grave with one arm draped over the top of the stone, and her grecian like draped dress just adding to the weight that seemed to sit with her. she was slightly larger then real life. . . and just really sad, and, well, kinda creepy looking . . . . but not a ghost.

we drove back home, feeling a little triumphant. . . and a little regretful. we'd disproved this wonderful thing that neil had been participating in for years. but we did have a pretty good time, and a good story to tell afterward.






"when you sit right down in the middle of yourself
you're gonna wanna have a comfortable chair"