i've gone cold turkey. . . not because i tried to necessarily . . . but out of a situation that arose. the heart palpatations have subsided. . . but i'm still listless, and i've found myself going to sleep about an hour earlier than normal without my fix . . . . my fix being harry potter. it started out innocently enough. i borrowed the first two book from my brother over thanksgiving, and returned them to him at christmas. i then took the next two back with me. i was amazed at the size of them. the third is somewhere around 500 pages, the fourth in the 700's. i figured the two would tied me over, no problem. i first read al franken's lies and the lying liars who tell them . . . great book, which reminds me, i'll have to report on it sometime soon. i decided, before getting into culture of fear, or some other more cerebral book that i have, i would reward my 'smart' reading with a fun read of the third harry potter.

it went by so quickly! and i found that although the plot was full and interesting, the actually part about the prisoner (as mentioned in the title) didn't really transpire till that last hundred pages or so. . . which was all about talky exposition. . . while the rest of the book was really packed with action, mystery, out and out fun. . . . but then this slight let down of wordy explaination. it's still a good story though, and i'm now anticipating the movie even more. . . . but i was anticipating the next bit of story a little too much, and instead of waiting to have another 'smart' read and rewarding myself with the fourth harry potter i dived straight into the harry potter.

i should embarrassingly explain my slight (oh who am i kidding) my huge crush on one of the characters in the third book. (there something about wearing underwear with a picture of a cartoon cat with a feather coming out of it's mouth and the caption 'bad kitty' that makes me feel fine about revealing embarrassing details) damn! don't you hate those crushes. . . . damn fiction crushes! there was richard meyhew for a bit, from neverwhere and r2d2 (hey! back off! he's short -an advantage in my case- quiet, and he fixes everything. anytime the rest of the star wars crew is in dire need, r2 whips out some gadget and is able to resolve whatever it is. . . it also makes you think of the other fun gadets he may have in his arsenal. . . . hmmmmm) anyway, the fiction crushes are almost as bad, but not quite as bad as cartoon crushes, of which i know i've had many, but i can only think of vampire hunter d (from the same titled anime) and haku from spirited away and i seem to remember that the beast after turning human in disney's beauty and the beast was a looker. and now i'm wondering if dream from sandman counts as a cartoon, or fiction crush anyway. . . .

yeah, i think professor lupin is hot! i'm hoping that although i don't recognize the actor's name who plays him in the movie. . . that he depicts the right strength and serenity that i expect from that character. we shall see!

moving on. . . . yeah, i dived into book four, and couldn't stop myself. i even started experiencing the media hyped harry potter headaches that kids were getting from trying to read too much too quickly. but it all came to an abrupt halt sunday evening. around midnight. . . . which puts me at 4 days 18 hours and 37 mintues without harry potter. one of my friends here says she has the fifth book, and she'll bring it into work for me. . . . but she's having trouble finding it. so, without potter to read, i've been finding tv very bland. i've spent more time at the gym, and i've gone to bed an hour earlier each night, which has lead to some rather weird dreams.

today being day four, and me having to spend about an hour at the dmv, i broke down and started reading another book from my list. it's ok. my friend promises that i will find it very interesting. . . but i can't help but wonder if my time would be better spent helping my friend clean her apartment so we can uncover the fifth book's hiding place. maybe i'll call her. . . . no. . . no. . . restraint! must. . . . not. . . let. . . potter. . . take . . . . over!

but if you only knew how they left the fourth book. . . i kept thinking to myself, there seems to be a lot of story left, but few pages. . . . will it end abuptly, like the last and tie everythin up with words and a bow? or will this be a cliff hanger? damn them. . . they left it as a cliff hanger, and the heart palpatations began. . .

it does make me wonder. . . the book is about a boy, who finds out he comes from a wizarding family, and he himself is a wizard. could these books be as dangerous as the christian coalition would have you believe? could they be bewitched? why else would i be having so much anxiety over getting the next copy in my hand so i can devour it mentally? ok. . . maybe, it's just a fun story, a new kind of fairytale for a newer generation. . . . with a winning protagonist, and the fact that i can read 700 pages in a couple of days makes me feel smart and accomplished. enough said.

man oh man. . . do i have some catching up to do. . i may have to span this out and come back tomorrow. . .. but last weekend, the baking company was packed, and i was sitting next to a non working outlet. . . so my battery died before i had the chance to do any blogging.


me and santa fe

i've had the rather cheesy feeling of copying a sitcom lately. as i drive back and forth to work, or to a store, or a movie, i have that carrie bradshaw feeling of being in love with a city. (carrie bradshaw being the narrating character on sex in the city, where she goes on 'dates' with the love of her life. . . nyc) it was really finalized for me last weekend. i took my car into a mechanic for a decent check up. after getting it back, the mechanic (a really nice and trustworthy- or so i feel- gentleman) talked me into bringing my car in for oil changes since he doens't trust 'drippy lube' as he calls it. and his prices are no worse. . . so why not. i get to establish my car with someone who can regularly see it and monitor it. so i now have a mechanic. we share jokes about 'drippy lubes.'

the next was my second appointment with my (notice that 'my' again) chiropractor. where i was adjusted again, and made a third appointment. though i'm sure my mom would love to see 'my gynecologist' come next in the grouping. . . sorry, but no. . .

i already have a gym. . . where i get to meet with a trainer a few times as part of my membership.

then there was last sunday. jared and i usually try to hit a movie, and we had planned to, but he got called into work after so many of his coworkers called in sick. so i was left movieless. . . or so i thought. as i ran around doing some sunday type errands i contimplated seeing a movie by myself. i'd never done it before. . . and i certainly didn't want to be a lone movie watcher around a really mainstream movie with a high percentage of dates around me. . . but this was early sunday afternoon. and it was big fish- which i got the impression not many people around me were interested in seeing. so i did it. the 4:10 big fish, at a smaller theatre. it was really promising at first, only about 5 people in the theatre. . . but by the time the movie actually started, it was about 1/3 full. but it was fine. the movie was slightly disappointing. . . i guess a good story, touching, something mom would like. but not quite what i expected from tim burton. i wanted something a little darker, edgier, with surreal production designs. . . like edward scissorhands. . . but it wasn't terrible. and although i enjoyed seeing it alone. . . . i wouldn't make a habit of it. i like the company of people at movies. . . so we can enjoy it, or find it horrid together!

and today marked another important move on my half. . . i got a new mexico drivers liscense. i still have to get my plates switched. . . the dmv has to contact my loan agent to get a copy of the title or something like that. . . then i'll switch my insurance. . . . but i have a new photo id in hand. . . or back pocket. however, while stopping at the bank to have money in hand for the dmv. . . an older woman stopped behind me, got out of her car and came up to my window to ask if i was from portage county ohio. not from. . . . but kent state was there, and so was my life for about three years. she explained that her great-great-grandmother had grown up, married, and moved from there. i've seen plenty of ohio plates here. . . and other portage county ones as well. . . but i figured that it would be too weird to actually know anyone, since my ohio contacts are all kent based. but here was this woman, who wanted to make a connection. is this the universe telling me that i shouldn't bear such a grudge to that sunless state?

anyway. . the dmv here was a bit different. where it was really simple and nearly effortless with no line, and no personality in ohio. i had to show that i had the right paperwork before getting a serving number. i was 145, at window number1, where geraldine helped me. she was wearing a silver dinosaur pin that reminded me of the artwork from danny and the dinosaur and while she worked on my paperwork, another person came behind her station and dropped off some red candy which she seemed thrilled about. and a little later another worker stopped by to show her a small toy they found for her. it was a small shiny lavander alien with a toothy grimace, which supposedly represented her, geraldine, on a bad day. she showed it to me and i was allowed to hold it under the glass. my paperwork went through and she talked about my apartment building and how much my rent was, and how she recommended the place she lived in, but the top floor, where you could suck away at the heat from the tennants below as well as from the sides, and save on your heating bill. but i asked about the heat in the summmer, and she said that her air conditioner fixed that. i don't know where i thought i had heard that air conditioners weren't in wide use in santa fe. . .. but apparently geraldine lived by hers.

my inner east coastness was appalled by the visits she got from other coworkers over toys and candy. . . but my new south westness was wu-wei about it. i got to hear about an interesting apartment prospect (should i need one in the future) and had a nice conversation with the 'lady behind the glass at the dmv.' not something one would get on the east coast. . . or ohio.

i realize that these next few are slightly less revealing then the first two posts of the same nature. . . . but oh well. . . deal!

here is my life through music, part 3, the strength album

32 flavors (ani difranco) now, this may seem like a soft song, maybe too soft sounding to be strong. . . . but that isn't so. if you can listen to her words, they are very strong. it seems to me that for every emotion i have, ani has a way of expressing it perfectly and poetically. "squint your eyes and look closer, i'm not between you and your ambition, i am a poster girl with no poster. i am 32 flavors and then some, i am beyond your peripheral vision, so you might want to turn your head." the musicality of it is soft, and her voice is soft. . . . there doesn't seem to be anger or bitterness there. it seems like more of a self realization. . . that you are worth a lot, and if someone doesn't notice it now, they will later.

don't tell me to stop (madonna) ok, so when i first heard this song, i thought there was something wrong with the radio station. . . or something had happened to their copy. it sounds like it's skipping a little at first, then i realized it was intentional and i thought it was really clever. the sound is actually getting cut short while she's singing about being told to 'stop' i don't have any really revealing story to tell about this one. it's just another strong (and female) but fun sounding song. "don't tell me to stop, tell the rain not to drop tell the wind not to blow, cause you said so."

fly away (lenny kravitz) so, this song got a lot of play in my car before i left virginia. it got a lot of play, really loudly too. "i want to get away, i want to fly away." which is, frankly, how i felt. i knew my time there was done, and although i missed my friends there, and still do, i felt really trapped, like i could barely breathe. i used to drive (fast) wherever i was going simply because it made me feel more like i was getting somewhere. . . and this song was great in the car. it still is. . . . but i don't need to drive fast anymore.

drive (incubus) ok, this song doesn't sound terribly strong either, in fact, i guess it is technically called a ballad. . . and honestly, one of the first times i heard it (while driving in virginia) i cried i thought it was so beautiful. "whatever tomorrow brings i'll be there, with open arms and open eyes" it's a nice image. at first i thought it was a sentiment for someone else mearning no matter what i'll be there for you- but it's not. . . . but don't worry it's just as good. the song is for the self. . . meaning i'll be ready to greet anything that comes tomorrow. and you have to make yourse;f responsible for you own life. "sometimes i feel the fear of uncertaintly stinging near, and i can't help but ask myself how much i let the fear take the wheel and steer. it's driven me before and it seem to have a vague haunting mass appeal, lately i beginning to find that i should be the one behind the wheel. " or don't let your fear of the unknown take control of your life. . . yeah, it's another softly strong song. . . but i think it speaks with a lot of volume.

joyful girl (ani difranco------yes! again!) i've always thought so many of her songs would translate well into modern dance. one of my friends in virginia did one dance piece to one of her more poetic numbers. . . and this song was used for one of the student dance concerts at kent. i think it was 4 or 5 girls in pajamas, and towards the end, they undid their shirts slowly to reveal more sking and their bras underneath----i thought it fit really well. "i wonder if everything i do, i do instead of something i want to do more. . . . and when everything else seems unclear, i guess at least i know, i do it for the joy it brings, cause i'm a joyful girl, cause the world owes me nothing, we owe each other the world, i do it cause it's the least i can do, i do it cause i learned it from you, do it just because i want to." again, it sounds maybe too soft and too sad, but it's another internal realization song. (there seems to be a lot of those here. . . maybe i'm pushing inner strength. . . yeah, that sounds good!)

knock on wood (the mighty mighty bosstones) this one is a little more upbeat. in fact, it kinda makes me want to jump around, dance, and laugh. something that i find kind of fun. . . is thinking of music like this in really tense situations. . . like when someone around me is really angry in general. . . or even better, when they are angry at me--which i admit, i don't think happens very often. . . . thinking of this music gives me an internal smaile that seems to shine a bit in my eyes, and the person usually becomes more frustrated with me and the fact that i seem to be happy when they aren't. plus it keeps me from getting really angry and acting stupid. "have you ever been close to tragedy or close to folks who have. have you ever felt a pain so powerful, so heavy you collapse. . . . i never had to knock on wood, but i knew someone who has." yes, again it's an internal kind of thing, but this song is so jump! it's also a great song to listen to if you have to stay up really late. it will give you that extra energy and strength to stay awake.

one step closer (linkin park) so. . . sometimes you've given yourself all the internal strength you can take, and it's just not enough- you need to break, smash, punch, throw, perhaps blow up something. . . anything. for instance, i tested the strength of my nalgene water bottle (which caled itself nearly indestructable) against a brick wall, over and over and over and over again. they were right. that thing could really take a beating! and yeah, this is a song that i played a lot my last year at kent. "i cannot take this anymore, saying everything i said before." i remember one particularlu cathartic student meeting, people were shocked, people were angry, people were crying, and i was handing out the lyrics to this song. . . .an angry sounding theme song! one of my favorite parts is. . . "shut up when i'm talking to you! shut up! shut up!" and " everything you say to me sends me one step closer to the edge, and i'm about to break. i need a little room to play." around this time, me, and some of my friends became fascinated and developed a new love for any movie that involved lots of explosions. . . . Jack Ass, XXX, and there was that terrible one with the skiers going against the terrorists. . . but that cutie rufus sewell . . . Extreme ops. . . and several others. anyway. . . i think you get my point. lots of anger, lots of frustration. . . those who were there remember, and this song is a great compliment.
pvc iv (blue man group) so, besides the fat that i'm notoriously in love with the blue man group and all that they do, this song doesn't hold any great significance. i do usually have it on the music mixes i use when i work out. . . because even without words, this music pushes me. rhythmic and driving. . . and i end up speeding up on the treadmill, or whatever. i guess it's also a reminder, whenever i'm feel like i'm working on a crappy project. . .that there are really cools things to do somewhere. . . even if i'm not doignthem, i can listen or watch and be inspired. -yes kind of cheesy, but completely true.

come on eileen ( i have no idea) so this is the ska remake of a fun 80's song. i think i just put it in there as another fun, jump on you bed and shake your head wildly kind of song. it can be a good way of ridding youself of frustrations. so, the next time someone gets up in your fave about anything, think of this song and envision yourself dancing crazily to it. . . you'll start to giggle a little which will frustrate the other person more. . . and i think that mean you win! cause you kep your cool. . . while they freaked out. stupid fuckers! HA!

the sun (they might be giants) yep, andother jump around the room fun one. . . . and this one is educational too. it teaches you all about the sun. it is also good for 'sleep impaired' working.

this is hell (elvis costello) this was a favorite among my emerson friends. that opening line is soooo wonderful. "this is hell, this is hell i am sorry to tell you it never gets better, or worse. but you get used to it, after a spell." -not if i can help it! yeah, three or four years into any educational system seems like hell, or at least that has been my experience. . .and it has been shared, so i know i'm not the alone in the whole thing. . . and i've been really glad for that. not much else. it's just kind of fun being able to sing along with a song saying "this is hell"

fire escape (blue man group) "all i see is not for me, what i want you have not got. try to go the way you told me, but each time i got lost." -this song has a little more of an edge to it. . . even though it's got that plucky blue man group sound to it. "but i'd rather look at the sky then wonder why i let you take my time." -see, it's a moving on song. getting past the thing that made you weak, or angry, or whatever. . . and it has that tremendous blue man sound that works really well at the gym too!

walkin on the sun (smash mouth) -used this song a lot as my sound check at emerson- yeah for some reason i did a lot of sound. this was a great song to use because it seems to insight fun. even the production manager teacher came out on stage and asked me to crank it up. - so i guess it falls under another fun, jump around kind of song. whoop-dee-do!

anyway, i guess that's all for now. . . take care.

so christmas. . . where did i leave off?

let's start with home. . . dan and i weren't there long, but i got a shot that i want to share. . . . this is something that we've had in the family for a really long time. . . and we don't see it as unusual. however, when any guests come in, they usually stare a bit, then, if they are really inquisitive.. .. they might ask us what is it about, otherwise i suppose they form their own opinions. . .

this is 'santa fred'

my uncle charlie made him while he was in college as a joke. although it looks like a stone man from easter island or something. . . he's just chicken coop wire and paper mache and some sort of stone finish. at the base, which you can't see in this picture is a small dip where someone can place candles and burn them in honor of the 'fredutian temple'. . . . for the holidays my mom 'dresses' him up as santa, as you can see. other than serving as an interesting conversation piece. . . he makes a great cat perch for my cat dante.

one of the other major parts of christmas at home was learning to make my grandmother's lasagna. mom mentioned making it, and dan and i said we wanted to learn. since then i made it this past week, and brought it into work to share with the shop crew. . . it went over very well.

while at home we also spent time with the champney's. . . i hadn't seen matt in possibly ten year, or megan. . . they both have very cute kids. . . . and we caught up with my aunt kathy for a bit as well.

then off ot long island to visit sara and russell. other than doing some great shopping, which i will elaborate on shortly. the weather was beautiful and sara wanted to take us to this amazing park that was funded by a single family in memory of their son, who was a great lover of outdoorsy things.

here are a couple shots from that. . .




and here are mom and sara posing as bookends


the park was really well thought out. . . it seemed like things had existed there for eons. . . but it had all been made to look as such.

ok. . . now for the shopping. . . .

here are a few things that i acquired as gifts and really loved. . . .

first off, a bag to satisfy my inner bag junkie. . .. yet another mock of a currier bag, only smaller, yet a slightly better shape than my beloved bailey works bag.

then. . . some shoeshere are my old sneakers next to my newer, really comfy, chiropractor admired hiking sneakers, which i think will be becoming my 'wear every day shoes'

then. . . my styling sneakers. . . . (dubbed ugly by some. . . but i will call then my swon sneakers. .. since the tow shape is like many of her shoes) i feel like i stretched out slightly beyond my own style. . . ok, no stretching as far as color is concerned. . . but they aren't vans or doc martins. . therefore, i consider it a stretch.

so, other than a number of books, pasta pots, and a number of other great and useful gifts. . . i think that sorta concludes the christmas stuff. . .

stay warm if you are being pummeled by noreasters. . . and i'll be in touch!

well, after going to this deep massage adjustment thing at my gym. . .. the pain in my ass subsided. . . . but there a 'clunk' (i call it a clunk because it is too deep in resonance and deep under my skin to be a 'click') in my hip. . . so this morning i returned to a chiropractor. . .. who had some other interesting things up his sleeve.

i explained the whoel deal, and he had me do a few stretches for him so he could see that i no longer felt pain. . . just this clunk. he was impressed with my flexibility. . . but after adusting me a little he wondered if i was so flexibily because, perhaps my ligaments were slightly weak. at this point he explained that he would test me for vitamin deficienies and such. ----oh and to help straighten the hip, i have a few excercises, and arch supports for my sneakers. . . .

so the vitamin deficiency thing. . . . it started with a small explaination of how the body is controlled with electrical current. . . this i understand. . . and i was handed a copper rod with a wire coming out of it. it was hooked up to this hoop-a-jube which i can't even begin to explain. . . . apparently its a miracle worker, with some dials, copper rods, and compartments. . . . . he walked me through some strength tests. depending on how he pushed on my arm and how i pushed back, he could tell that 'wood' was weak. 'wood' being some sort of chinese medicinal term. . . basical my ligaments, maybe liver, and thyroid could be a culprit. then he explained that if i was put in contact with things my body was in need of, i would be stronger, and when they were taken away, i would be weaker. so, wiht copper contact in one hand he had me hold different vitamin substances in the other hand. a few i seemed fine without, but oddly enough, when some were put in my hand i could resist his push better than when they were taken away. these are part of my vitamin suppliment now.

now. . .maybe a third of me is willing to chaulk this up to complete and utter hooey. . . . but the guy was really nice, he came well recommended. . . .and i got a good vibe from the whole experience. . . so, i'm gonna give it a try. and down the line, if i want to work on forgeting the reason i became allergic to cats. . .. the weird hoop-a-jube can help with that as well. . . .since our memory is made of electricity as well. . . . we'll see if i get this far. . .. for now, some arch supporting insoles. . . and vitamins to strengthen my ligaments. . . . ooh-de-laddy!


and yes. . . still more christmas stuff to come. . . looks like a trip to the santa fe baking company for me tomorrow!

OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH

one thing that i must relate before i leave. . . .

before i took off for the east coast i made a couple batches of my mom's famous, strong, rum balls . . . . i got some new friends to say the least. however, one day while i was out shopping during lunch, the scene shop crew had a little fun. we have been watching south park duing our lunch breaks for some time now, and the crew was getting excited about the mr. hanky christmas episodes. . . .. they created a mr hanky out of rumballs. . . and dressed him, attached a note that read, "hidee ho miss erika, you sure do smell an awful lot like flowers" then of course, one of the crew took it a step further by proclaiming that it was even more realistic because the rum balls were made with nuts inside!

anyway. . . here's a shot

well. . . i did intend to write a lot today. . . but i'm sitting at the santa fe baking company. . . and i've been editing my pictures for the better part of 2 hours. . . . so now i'm sick of sitting here, listening to a group of trendy highschool guys pontificating about music and art in the background. . . . and my fingers want a break from the keypad. . . so i won't be getting nearly as far as i had hoped. . . . but here it goes anyway. . . .

the holidays. . . .


i flew to boston, by way of providence, and my brother who picked my up. i realized how much. . . . or which things in particular i miss about the east coast. . . mostly, the smell of water, now that i'm in a land-locked state. i was really surprised about the midlness of the weather for the time that i was there. . . and i was also pleased to see a few really nice sunsets out there. . . .
i don't get to see views much like this anymore

and here's a shot of a sunset from inside the prudential building where dan and i were doing some last minute shopping. . .

shortly after this my brother and i travelled to visit my our parents in northern ny, and our aunt and uncle on long island. . . but i'll save that for a little bit . . .. and continue with boston.

i did get to meet up with neill (who i hadn't seen in 6 years) and dan (not in 2 years). we rendez-voued (sp?) outside the fao schwartz. . . . . which i was very saddened to see was actually closing. but the immense bronze bear is still a good landmark to go from. we walked around town. . . ate a little. . chatted.. . and later on neill, dan (brother) and i saw the last samurai. . . . but i really enjoyed seeing the area again. . . .

my old stomping ground has changed a bit, and i had hoped to see more of it, but most of the emerson buildings were closed. . . . so i'll have to see them later. . . new performance arts spaces. . and the completely done majestic. . which i only saw from the outside, but even that was beautiful.



then just the backbay area. . . . the lights up and down the trees on comm ave. . ..



on new years. . . dan went to a party with many of his friends from college. . .. he got to sit around and talk about the good ole days. . . . but well, you can imagine that i wanted to sit around and talk to my friends. . . . not my brothers. . ..even though they all seemed very nice. i wanted to be around a small group of people i knew. . . or around lots of people i didn't know at all. . . so i hopped a bus, and a train. . . . (which reminds me. . . along with the smell of water in the air, i really miss public transportation. . . and it was even cooler because it was all free on new years! but a good half hour ride into work used to allow me time to read a book. . . . . that is something i really miss) and headed out to the waterfront. . . which was festivally decorated

and i got to watch, amidst a ton of total strangers. . . the new year's eve fireworks. . . . whoo-hoo!

i also got to spend some time at the museum of science. . . one of my favorite places in boston. . . . dan, some of his college friends and i caught an omnimax movie. . . . and then we scrutinized the polarized light art exhibit. . .

and nearly ever chance possible. . .. i had dan drive over that new bridge. . . and of course i can' remember the name of it. . but here's a shot of us riding through it. . . . (the night pictures just didn't turn out. .. . but i got a postcard to make up for it)

so. . . . it's not in chronological order or anything. . . but that kinda sums up the boston legs of the holiday tours. . . i'll be back with more later. . . just not now. . . . :)

so. . . .here's a warning, or not really a warning, but a sharing of info for the future. i'm leaving my position as the shop assistant and i'll be training the next guy in. . . . i'll be moving onto the scene shop floor, helping the carpenters and such with building, till this summer, when i resume my position as assistant master electrician. the reason i'm spouting all this out. . . for those of you who actually read this. . .. i won't have nearly as much input into this blog, since i won't be at a computer much at all. i'm hoping to work into my schedule some time spent at santa fe baking company over my weekends when i'll be able to catch up on emails, and blogging.

anyway. . . hope to post something larger about my holiday shortly. hope everyone is well.

can't tell you how upset i am about this blog. . . i started it a couple of days ago. . . got about three written pages of it (handwritten on paper.. so i don't know how that equates to typed blogger paging) and somehow wasn't able to save it. .. in fact i may run into the same problem now! ahhhhhhhh. . . . please don't lose this.. . . high and mighty master and mistress of bloggdom. . .. please safely store my rambings!

ok here we go. . .

the second installment of my life through music part two, the fun album. . .

#1 all i care about is love (billy flynn from the musical chicago) this song made the list due to a competition a couple of my firends and i held between each other. swon, emily, and i fought over one of our fellow grad students. . . eric van baars, a very talented, funny, intelligent, handsome (-and taken!) gay boy! we would tally up special conversations, time spent over coffee and tea or meals, hugs, kisses on the cheek, and movie outtings against one another for points. all three of us enjoyed him in all his roles while at kent state, but his part as billy flynn in chicago was the best! we want billy, give us billy! forget that! i think we'd all take eric just as he is! -remember that one time in yuko's history class when eric had very little sleep and yuko made some quote about how a large percentage of theatre audiences were made up of mostly upper class white people. . . and eric blurted out, "go whites!". . . or something like that . . . i almost peed! and then the surprise birthday party you all threw for me, in the iron chef theme, where i learned to make sushi!. . . eric posed as chairman kaga, with wig, weird shirt, and poor japanese accent. . . -such a sweet man deserves o have silly, girly things written about him on the bathroom stall door(wonder who will write such things!), even if we have no chance with him. ;)

#2 comes love (billie holiday) i got a 'best of' billie holiday album sometime during my senior year of highschool. . . anyway. . . my second summer as a theatre technician at music theatre north i spent as a scenic artist apprentice. . . of course that year the company almost closed due to money trouble after the opening of the second show. about 80% of the company decided to stay on an work for no pay for two weeks and the community agreed to feed us for that time. every morning someone would show up in the green room with breakfast and stock the fridge. . . and the same would happen around lunch and dinner time, it was really fantastic. we ended up finishing out the season because of that two week period. a group of the apprentices held a meeting with the local newspapers to let the community know how much we appreciated having the summer theatre program, and how it was started as an educational program, and the people who had screwed up the finances didn't have the right to lose it for us- (i was a part of that group, yup, started early in the causing trouble business)- anyway, i ended up as the sole painter for the season after a few people left. . . with very little experience, but i did it!. . . and pretty well, i think! anyway, i remember spending some pretty late hours painting, and i made myself many mix tapes to help pass the time. one of the mix tapes was an all girls singers tape. one of the costumers-who i thought was a incredibly cool person (laura shrewsbury)-came in to check on me and was amazed by a billie holiday song i had playing in the background. . . she complimented my taste in music several times. another time i was listening to it that summer was while painting a backdrop. for big backdrops, i would take the cloth over to another, smaller theatre in order to fully open it. i had a 40' drop laid out, stapled (by myself) and i started painting a large map of italy, with different italian city names (from a song in kiss me kate) in large letters across it. some time in the afternoon my highschool art teacher was passing through the building and did a double take when he saw me, in the middle of a 40x20 foot cartoonish painting of italy with my walkman on splattered with paint. we chatted for a while, and ever since then he brings up that afternoon in conversation with me. . . how surreal the image on me was over a large map .

#3 count on me (trout fishing in america) i was introduced to their music back in my virginia days. during the highland festival in the late summer, the barter theatre scheduled in different events and entertainment along with their usual repertory. as the master electrician i would tweek the lights a little before each show, then tweek them back for the normal theatre performance. we had magician acts, egyptian dancers, storytellers, and 'trout fishing in america' i never heard of them, but was told by a friend, andria, that they were really good and a lot of fun. as normal, i was nervous about doing well for them, but they were entirely laid back and easy to please. the band is just two guys. . . one shorter guy with darkish hair who plays a bass and reminds me a bit of my father, and his close friend, a tall kinda lanky blond who plays a rather small guitar. i didn't realize their music is usually classified as children's so it took me a while to find any of their stuff. they do some songs which are really silly and fun . . . but some are really sweet. . . well you can count on your fingers and you can count on you toes, count the freckles on your freckly face, or the hairs in your daddy's nose, but you can count on me because i'll always be your friend. . . count to 10 if you're angry, count on me if you're sad.

#4 de doo doo doo, de dah dah dah (the police) ok, this song goes back again to music theatre north. . . only this time it was my first year, and i was an electrics apprentice, for some reason there were a number of people from arizona in the technical theatre staff, and in particular there was one incredible cute carpenter boy named quayyum. . . if i spelled it right. (pronounced ky-yoom) a sweet blond with really beautiful blue eyes. . . who was, of course, fating one of the more talented and beautiful actresses. i was pretty new to technical theatre and i was working with these really incredible people who were teaching me sooooo muc, kris, annemarie, jodi, kevin and so many more. many times, while carpentry and electrics were sharing the stage this police album was playing in the background. so i was my normal quiet self among people i didn't know well, and this incredibly cute carpenter walked by singing, 'de doo doo doo, de dah dah dah, is all erika will say to me.' i didn't even think he knew my name!. yeah.. . it made my day, and most of my summer.

#5 djobi, djoba (gypsy kings) back into my emerson days. .. . i don't remember it it was my first or second year. . . probably the second. . . when i was really immersed in the tech theatre program. we had a set of theatre spaces in one building on brimmer street, aptly nicknamed 'brimmer', (sadly, the school no longer owns it. . . they built brand new spaces for the students, and i feel that they are short changed without having to work with the crappy equipment we learned and flourished on. . . and without that fun fire escape that you could climb between theatre spaces to crawl into windows. . . but we went allowed to do that! muhahahahaha) brimmer was a few short blocks from charles street which was convenient, but not always cheap for food. there was also a coffee house which was rather populated with emerson students during almost any part of the day called bella vita. it was a great place to hang out after tech or a show. . . very large and good warm beverages, some good food, and great desserts. . . and with the high number of emerson students there, it was easy to run into someone to talk to, or have some food with, or as nana and i did- bitch about our classes or relate the latest traumas fromtechnical rehearsals. one afternoon, my friend nana and i were chatting and i guess this album had a lot of play in bella vita recently. this song came on and nana, joined with about 6 other emersonians each. . without disrupting the flow of their conversations clapped along, djobi, (clap clap) djoba (clap clap) . . . and everone continued to do this while the song played. . . it was rather surreal,yet everyone seemed natural breaking in an dout of conversation to clap along. it was still a rather long time before the bella vita employees retired this album from it's nearly continuous play.

#6 what you don't know about women (city of angels) i figured thus was a pretty good pick for all those boy troubles most straight girls, and gay or bi boys i know have. especially those touchy communication issues. i know i usually say that i'm not a fan of musicals, but there are some good ones out there, and this show has a bunch of good songs. . . really tough vocal arrangments too! and yes. . this was the final show of my first season at music theatre north. in fact it ran so late that i wasn't able to run it. . . i had to leave for college. what you don't know about women, could fill a shelf of books. . . . how long ago did good sense desert me?. . . . you've not in synch with your feelings. sound familiar?

#7 in your eyes i don't have anything major to go along with this one. . . other than it is just one of those great songs that was on a lot of my mix tapes for a long time. i do remember it was in that john cusack movie, 'say anything'. john cusack was trying to get the attention of some girl (and who wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that?) and he had this song playing on a boombax outside her house. . . like a 1980's serenade, in the rain. . . standing on top of his car? maybe?i don't remember completely. love. . i get so lost sometimes. . . in your eyes, the resolution, in your eyes, of all the fruitless searches.

#8 jumo, jive, and wail (brian setzer orchestra) sometime duing my college years swing had a large.. . but kinda short resurgence. a few of my friends took some swing dance classes. . . and one summer i got to work a brian setzer orchestra concert! my good friend, brian (and there were a lot of brians during my time at emerson) but this brian really had a thing for swing. he had a band for a while and i got to hear a handful of his amusing band stories. . .and well. . . he was way psyched about the concert, which was in-cred-i-ble. brian setzer leads the band with his guitar. for this concert he wore a lime green leopard print suit- hot! the whole orchestra wore brightly patterned jackets. . . and each section had their own choreography- the trumpets were by far, the most animated. the stage was a lot of fun too. . . tiki's all over the pace, brian setzer all over the place, and the lighting director for setzer was really on top of his game. he made our usually tame stage crazy with light sequences we didn't think were capable. he also called a tight spot light show. i was on spotlight- it was really fast paced and fun- from brian to a sax player ina head shot over to a trumpet player full body and back again quickly to brian. lots of fun. . . and a concert i would highly recommend attending. this song just makes you wanna get up and jump around.

#9 what a little moonlight can do (billie holiday) i had to put another of hers in. . . this song is so plucky musically. it really moves, but it is not overpowering. you'll get bold, you can't resist him, and all you'll saywhen you hace kissed is ooooooh. .. what a little moonlight can do -or for that fact, what a little whisky, vodka, scotch, or a little more beer can do! :)

#10 minnie the moocher (cab calloway) so, in virginia we had one touring show that came through called 'the blackbirds of broadway' it was a song and dance review from the black renaissance and this was one of the songs. . . all the performers were delightful to have around. they were new blood for us. and the show was a lot of fun. . . good voices for good songs and good dancers. there was a narrator that filled the gaps with poetry from langston hughes (which became our password into all our really fun techie parties) the performer that sung this song in our show had been in cats. . . i don't remember his name, but he was a total baby bear. he was a larger guy with an amazing voice. i think he had been put on a specail diet for his health. . . and the stage manager and other performers would keep an eye on him. . . but because he did most of the narrating, he would be offstage while others performed. he'd sneak into the greenroom to eat food he wasn't supposed to. i remember the stage manager would instrct the run crew and performers to make sure he wouldn't miss his entrances because he's be backstage eating. -he was also the first person that introduced me to kimchee. he had some leftovers that included kimchee. . . thought now i'm wondering where he got it from in that small town? huh. . . . anyway i remember he opened the container to reheat it, and this potent sour smell filled the greenroom in no time. he apologized for the smell but explained how good the kimchee was. i didn't try it then, but i have grown to love since.

#11 ny state of mind (sung by sgt. floyd pepper from the muppets) come on down to reality. . . . . i don't have any reason, left them all behind. .. . i'm in a ny state of mind. yet again, i had to put in some muppets. . . that's all. :)

#12 pinch me (bare naked ladies) so yeah. . . i got to work one of thie shows in boston. . . my last summer there. the lighting company that did our larger shows couldn't bring their usual lighting guy, so i ended up running lightboard for the concert (it happened a couple of times that summer, but the guys from that company trusted me enough, i guess. . . and hey! i got to do a bare naked ladies show!) they do have a really good concert. . .. i could leave but i'll just stary. . . all my stuffs here anyway. the concert was kind of insane. it was for the opening of their album stunt (which this song isn't from) and the cd would go on sale that night at midnght, but you could buy a voucher for the cd for $20 that would guarentee you a cd from a local shop at midnight. . and you got their autographs, which they signed for 3 hours after the concert. the event stadd only expected about 30,000 people and closer to 80,000 people showed up. . . there were people on the rooftops of nearby buildings, people across the street. . . and the plaza at gov't center was completely packed. on and evening such as this, it's hard to tell if i exist, pack a car and leave this town, and notice that i'm not around.

#13 roxanne ok, so there's a drinking game that can be played with this song. . .. everytime you hear them sing 'roxanne', you drink. . . pretty easy, or so you think. i've never tried to count how many times 'roxanne' is said, but i'm gonna try now. every time it is said i'll write down an 'x'. let's start. better have your drinks ready! x.x.i learned this from a few people at.x.santa fe.x.hold on.x.chorus.x.oh no!.x.x.x.damn. . . i can't write anything during the chorus. so yeah. . . never was good at drinking games sinci really don't.x.drink much.x.. . . and .x. i can't stand beer.x. damn.x. chorus.x.again .x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x. ok those last few are tough because they keep getting more and more quiet. so. . . how many drinks total? i count 26. . . . but that last one is questionable i think. anyway. . . have plenty around to drink!

#14 woke up one morning (sopranos theme music) i got my friend, swon, completely hooked on this show. she started off saying that she knows people talk about it a lot, but she didn't understand why. . . from that to staying up late watching all the episodes and the special features from the dvd's. this song was also used in a fashion show i did at kent. . . fun eh?