looking back at orpheus

it has been a really delightful day. (valentines day for some- korean new years for some.)

good company- friends from work came over to hang out.

decent food- i started cooking early and just kept putting dishes and snacks out.

we sat around and watched videos. . . listened to music. . . talked. all good. . . all fun. really chill and nice.

then they left.

i sat at my computer and deliberately pulled out a blog from a rough patch of time.

why? why stir up the dust?

am i compelled to balance happiness (a nice day) with unhappiness (a painful memory)?

or am i testing my current resolve against past challenges?

why read about that tough first week after leaving new mexico for california?

why question the decision to leave new mexico?

why put such a downer to the end of a nice day?

why look back? (didn’t do orpheus any good either)

it’s natural to wonder if our decisions will lead to us in the right direction. but what happens when you don’t know where you want to be?

i never had a five year plan.
- not much for strategy. probably why i don’t like playing chess.

i have an amorphous list of things i’d like to do. . . places i’d like to go. . .

it seems that once i pick a direction my focus and tenacity kicks in- even if it’s in the wrong direction.

i know i didn’t make the best judgment calls, but i’d like to think that i made the best of my situation. (most of the time)

my friend tells me that life wouldn’t be as fun if we knew the end. like reading the last page of a book- it’s all out of context and makes the journey less interesting.

i agree. i don’t need to know the end. . . or the specifics. but it would be nice to know the genre. . . true crime? tragedy? chick lit? comedy? thriller?

(lame blog ending)
guess i’ll have to file it under ‘mystery’ for the time being.


(not so lame blog ending)
eh, no worries. happy new year.


(awesome blog ending)
screw this pensive shit. . . . i’m gonna call action chicken man for some dinner delivery!