a man to savage

this is actually a really old post that i’ve been sitting on for a while. . .

i was walking through our illustrious mall recently. the place is a dead zone. it’s pretty normal for there to be more people working there than actual shoppers. it makes for a really uncomfortable shopping experience in my mind. the clerks have absolutely nothing else to pay attention to other than you. instead of casually browsing you feel like you are dodging merchandise-hocking stalkers.

seriously, the biggest crowd i saw there was outside the toddler tumbling place. see, the stores are doing so badly and closing so often that some of the store fronts are being used as college outreaches areas, and toddler gymnastic clubs. there were maybe fifteen parents outside the gymnastic ‘store’ windows watching kids somersault and cartwheel their way down a long trampoline. personally, i couldn’t help but think that setting up a trampoline in a place with a drop ceilings and a number of enthusiastic kids would later result in injury or property damage.

anyway, since everything was so quiet, i actually started to pay attention to the paging system, which i usually tune out as white noise. (really annoying white noise.) it was during a particular page that i had this spark, this connection to the poor soul stuck behind the information desk.

a woman’s voice, with no girlish giggle like you would hear or crack yourself while making a prank call. this person was a comic ‘straight man’ genius. complete, dull delivery. perfect.

“amanda savage. would amanda savage please come to the information desk. we are requesting amanda savage to report to the information desk.”


sadly, i was no where near the information desk, and i was on my way out. but i would’ve liked to walk by and share a knowing chuckle or a sly smirk. it seemed just a little sad for this joke to go without an audience.

is it like that riddle about the tree falling in the woods? is a joke funny if there’s no one there to laugh at it? or is it enough that the deliverer of the joke was spilling their sardonic wit into the void, and maybe getting their kicks from that alone?

it definitely left me feeling a little like i was walking through wes anderson’s mall. . . wondering to myself. . . is this funny? or is it pathetic?

i chuckled anyway.