an evening in ottawa

so mom called me from work, claiming that we NEEDED to go out tonight, but where? how about ottawa. sure, i like ottawa. it’s pretty, there are things to do. . .etc. she actually found a little place that did a dinner murder mystery theatre. she invited sarah, a friend of the family, and we headed out after work.

keep in mind, my dad has gone downstate to visit family for the week. he took the honda. my car is buried in snow, and won’t be leaving its spot till the snow melts away- or till i have it towed. mom has her car at work, and that left me the whole week with the truck, which i can’t drive since it’s standard. basically, i lived the entire week as a shut in. the cats loved it. someone always around to dote on them. but now i’m headed out for public interaction, and in canada, and at a dinner murder mystery theatre. . . . what could possibly happen?

i was actually looking forward to it when i first read the program. the company themed the evening after the holidays. the place of ‘business’ we were benefitting with our presence was a small ballet school that had fallen on hard times, each of the characters had a nutcracker based name and such. but i was excited because i thought ballet dancers were going to be murdered! that is definitely something to look forward to. i started to get giddy with the anticipation of audience participation. . . . could I be responsible for a bun-head murder?! . . . . . . please?! well. . . we never got to the actual ballet part. . . all the action took place before the school could put on a show. damn.

so there were a couple of sleazy characters. i took a liking to ‘harry sugarplum.’ he had a bad. . . bad hair piece. and even better, it was a mullet! excellent. harry was the second person to be ‘killed.’ the detective got up to ask the audience for clues and ideas. harry was caught in a fire. his hairpiece was missing when he came out to die on stage. i made some loud comment about suffering from ‘mullet separation.’ the detective caught it and riffed on how we would all miss that amazing hairdo.

later in the evening, we were given ballots in which we were to fill in who we thought was guilty and why. - i want to clarify that i really thought that the ballots wouldn’t be read. . or maybe they would be read after the show, and perhaps my ballot would give someone a chuckle later that evening. it read something close to this,

“i believe harry’s mullet committed the murders. you see harry (we’ll just call him ‘sugar’ from now on) has kept his mullet on undesired life support since it clinically died back in the 80’s. the mullet has always desired to be left in peace, so it did sugar’s bidding for years, hoping that someday sugar would retire him. so the first murder was committed by the mullet at sugar’s demand. however, over the course of the evening, the mullet realized that sugar would never let him go. the mullet used its extensive amount of hair product as an accelerant and started the fire that killed sugar, also killing itself. . . finally, the mullet is at peace.”

before the cast announced the winner of the prize for the person who correctly submitted a ballot, they read a select few that they thought were interesting. . . . but very wrong. there were two others, and then i saw the diatribe of my ballot on the bottom. he (the guy who played harry) read the whole thing. it was a big hit.

see what happens as a shut in? i become all abstract and shit. . . but funny. . . :)

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