holiday party

yet again, i’m behind in the writing thing. . . i would like to say that a week on vacation back home would bring some progress, but i think i’ve noticed that that is definitely not the case.

anyway. . . it was in the high 50’s today in santa fe. people were walking around in shorts (including me. . .but that should be no surprise) and tank tops. i did a few errands, including a car wash during which i locked my keys in my car. . . luckily, the cell was in my pocket, so as i continued to clean my car. . . i got a locksmith to visit me. that should be the end of stupid things for a week right? HA. . . doubt it.

after such a warm week, ----what, ----what was that? global warming. . . what ARE you talking about? i’m betting that ottawa and northern ny will be quite the shock to my system. . . must remember to pack all those layers!

so yeah. . .where was i? oh right, holiday party. . . last thursday. jared was the main proponent, but katy and i were absolutely willing to add in once we were out of work. jared had actually set up a complete buffet. turkey, ham, peas, corn, stuffing etc. . . including the buffet servers to keep everything warm. i added some carnivore smores and faux grilled pineapple. . . and the normal rumballs. it was a slow start. . . but pretty quickly, we had a rip roaring party on our hands. . . . there were a handful of opera people that came and went the entire evening, which meant i actually had people to talk to. . . yippeee. jared’s coworkers from borders showed up in droves and occupied the living-room, which i mostly avoided. i think the most i interacted was by teaching some guy how to make a midori sour.

along with one of our coworkers, randy, from the opera came a gift, actually a couple of gifts. as jared opened one present randy leaned over to me and warned me that i would hate it. being that i’m not exactly a ‘festive’ holiday person, when i saw a penguin revealed, i quickly asked, ‘does it sing?’ and then a second quick shot, ‘does it move?’ the answer to both was yes. it’s a singing, hopping penguin. granted, i own a cereal bowl that is shaped to look like R2D2 and it makes R2D2 noises. . . but come on. . . it’s R2D2! this is a christmas song singing hop hop hoppity-ing holiday penguin. along with my mom’s festive cactus that sings ‘feliz navidad’. . . it’s one more thing that is ‘magically turned off’ when i walk through the room. randy’s second gift takes the prize however. after seeing both of them, and randy knowing how little i like the holidays, i turned to him a jokingly stated that he has managed to bring the two worst presents ever. randy walked in with a mounted deer head. it was festively costumed with a red bow about it’s neck, and red christmas tree ornaments affixed to each of it’s antlers.

i am not a person without humor. . . in fact, i often find humor where others find it inappropriate- as well as in all the ‘right’ places. the dark humor in a dead animal’s head mounted and decorated festively is not totally wasted on me. . . however, taking that dark joke and then affixing it to a structural entity of our house, kills the joke- for me. sometime in the middle of the party, randy and jared procured tools. holes were drilled. . . they took turns stepping back to make sure it was centered. and the head was placed over our fireplace. shortly after. . . people were taking pictures with it as a backdrop. there was supposed to be a ‘roommate’ picture. jared, katy and i were to gather under a gaily attired stuffed dead deer head for a holiday picture. someone grabbed hold of my arm to push me into the shot. i stood firmly and soberly (which wasn’t too easy) stated that i was morally opposed. i think i might have meant, ‘morbidly opposed.’

I HAVE A FUCKING DECORATED DEAD DEER HEAD HANGING ON MY WALL!

it stares at me as i watch tv, while i enter through the front door, as i water my plants. it’s eyes plead with me. ‘look at me,’ it seems to say, ‘i’ve been killed, stuffed, mounted, and now festively decorated. for the love of god, put me out of my misery!’

i wanted to start that first evening. . maybe stick a cigarette in it’s mouth. . . with a quote bubble saying, ‘cancer kills.’ one problem. . . i don’t smoke and won’t buy cigarettes out of spite. perhaps i would draw maori type tattoos on it’s fur. but no, it’s actually a prop from the opera and can’t be permanently tampered with.

but. . . do you think i’m able to leave ‘well enough’ alone. HELL NO!

you’ll have to scroll down for pictures to see what i did. . . .

ps. happy holidays. .. safe travels.