yes, what would erika do?

E: so, say you’ve taken some time off of work, undecided about how you’ve spent the past 14 years of your life.

S: oh, how awful.

E: yes, rather daunting but back to the quick of it. so you are back living with your parents. just recently you were a productive member of society. you made money, spent it, paid bills, fed, clothed and sheltered yourself, and with reasonable success. and now it would seem none of that ever existed. the questions made by your parentals suggest that within a matter of minutes alone in the house you are capable of burning it down or in some other way destroying it utterly. it would seem that you’ve never used a washer, dryer, dishwasher, vacuum, iron, or shower before. all these things are incredibly difficult to use and come with amazing instructions from said parentals. how ever did you exist before all this? oh right, you did. it’s a wonder, isn’t it.

S: where is this going?

E: i’m getting there. indeed, you’ve let some habits slide. at one point you were very organized. for a random example let’s say laundry was done on a specific day of the week and promptly put away. this made the rest of the week easier. you could wake up in the morning and easily locate the shirt you planned to wear to work, because it was neatly put where you expected it to be. this could even be done while groggy or in haste if one overslept a bit. but the initial organization made it easy. however, there is no haste that exists currently. there is no urgency. so these days when laundry is done, sometimes it sits in the laundry basket waiting to be folded for days.

S: odd.

E: well, it just doesn’t matter so much. no urgency.

S: what if you need to find something to go somewhere.

E: there is no where you NEED to go. so if you want to go somewhere, and it takes an extra 15 minutes to locate the shirt you want to wear it really doesn’t matter. follow?

S: sure.

E: even though you have loosened the grip on your habits, not all those around you have done the same. others stick to their habits, even when it impedes upon your territory. for instance, perhaps one of your parentals walks into your room, and noticed the ‘mess of clothes on the floor’ and decides, without questioning you, to pick it all up. now, said parental didn’t know that the clothes in the hamper were clean, the pile near the window was dirty, the pile near the dresser had another day’s use in them and the pj’s on the bed were going to be worn that night.

you knew this.

you had a system.

but the parental didn’t know and didn’t ask. just tossed all the clothing into the hamper. so now the system was all screwed up and you’d probably end up having to clean the whole lot (even the already clean because it’s now been contaminated by the dirty because you do have a little OCD). what’s more, you are just frustrated that instead of asking a simple question, action was taken that has now messed up your system.

S: mmm. i’m hypothetically frustrated.

E: well, you could tell said parental of this problem and ask them to stop moving your things about.

S: sounds good.

E: . . . but you already tried this and apparently the message was not received.

S: upsetting.

E: indeed. however, you once again state your case. when apologies are offered you refuse them and ask instead for your things to no longer be touched. simple, it would seem.

S: it would seem.

E: but you’ve been taught idiot proofing, and well, you have a mischievous side. so you decide to take a little action. it must be something related to the original problem, and not damaging.

S: what would YOU do?

E: i’d rearrange said parent’s underwear drawer. when getting up, while still sleepy and with little light, it’s just completely annoying. all you need is your undies so you can go and shower, but they aren’t exactly where you put them.

S: oh i see. so you’ve upset their routine just as they upset yours. and they might think, ‘hey, it sucks when someone moves MY things out of the place that i am used to. i must really annoy others when i’m doing the same to them. gee, i should stop those actions of mine. thank goodness my daughter has pointed this annoying habit of mine out to me through the use of this simple and yet not damaging prank.’

E: exactly.

S: so what if the behavior continues? what would you do next?

E: well, let me think a bit. heh, who am i kidding, i already know my next move. you see, i thought about it while running errands in town the other day. i was annoyed by my key chain, when i realized the annoyance was the new key dangling from it. my parental’s car key. after being doped up on a recent doctor visit, said parental couldn’t drive. so i chauffeured. i still have the key. it would be completely easy to drive to parental’s place of work and relocate the parked car. could be to another spot in the same lot, or could be a completely different lot.

S: and what does that accomplish?

E: well, not only can it instill fear and panic to not see your car where you put it, but to find it nearby and unharmed would be embarrassing, annoying, and may even create doubt and suspicion into the mental faculties of said parental.

S: huh?

E: it might lead them to believe that they are experiencing early signs of ‘senior moments.’

S: oh. how diabolical.

E: true.

S: so are you gonna go through with it?

E: eh. i don’t exactly HAVE to. you see, just the mere mention of the possibility is enough, especially when said parental reads this blog on a regular basis. they may turn from their computer and call me a snot, or a brat, but the fear has been imprinted.

will i move the car? let’s ask eddie. . .
(ps, play video below)

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