5.27.2006

i don't feel. . .


hear i am, with a day off- (it’s still pretty early in the season) and i can’t seem to be inspired by anything to do.

of all the books on my shelf that are unread, i don’t feel like reading any of them.

i saw davinci code last weekend, and x-men last night, and nothing else seems to be striking my fancy.

i should have plenty to catch up on from work- blogwise, but i don’t feel like it.

i should run around a get some errands out of the way, but i don’t feel like it.

i should go to the gym, but i don’t feel like it.

i should wax my legs, but i don’t feel like it.

i should shower before going out, but i don’t feel like it.

(guess i could rationalize that i want to conserve water. . . )

there’s some cleaning around the house that’s begging to be taken care of. . . but i don’t feel like it.

i kinda just want to sit around and read a comic book, but i don’t have the one i want, which should spawn into a shopping trip, but i don’t feel like feeding the retail therapy beast today. daily show looked like a set of repeats this week, so i started downloading more episodes of QI. . . what is it about an intelligent and comedic british guy, that their ability to talk with a slight air of knowledgeable authority will immediately turn them into drool material? add a bit of daring 80’s androgynous make up and i’m a puddle of mush on the floor.

man, i wish i could carry more information in my brain. . . and have it easily accessible. the bizarre facts that stephen frye spouts out during the show are so fantastic, and yet, by the end of an episode i’m not even able to relate what was discussed in a general sense, let alone a true factoid. i have a few friends that are better with archival, historic, and obscure trivia type knowledge- i kind of categorize them together in my head, but none of them have ever met one another. i love being around them and getting them started on a subject. john, sarah, and neill. . . they’re all incredibly well spoken too. . . one finally started a blog, which i love reading, and i’ve prodded the other two several times, to little avail. if they were to write a book together, or have a talk show of some kind. . . that is exactly what i would be in the mood for right now. . . which is possibly why i’ve filled the void with QI. . . and the lack of initiative for the day. . . because what i want doesn’t exist readily available to me. ouch. . . self realization. . . i want something i can’t have. good theme for the day.

and tell me, why is it that on a day like today- where i decide to shun the outside world and human interaction-even possibly only leave my room for proper edible provisions and bathroom breaks, that i can’t for the life of me figure out a way of having large quantities of chocolate delivered directly to my door?! or perhaps some coldstone creamery ice cream. . . the apple pie flavor sans the apples and made with cake batter ice cream instead of their sweet cream ice cream. dammit. . . .i’ll have to shower and dress if i’m going to procure any of that. i guess now would be a good time to have a compliant boyfriend. . . or just a friend that feels like doting on my pathetic ass. . . or to become incredibly wealthy and partake of my ‘man servant’s’ duties.

do wealthy women have ‘man servants?’.. . . or ‘woman servants?’ as if i will someday need to know the difference. . . BAH!

as john would say, with a wave of his hand, ‘bring me my grapes!’

i have this itch to do something, but i am completely uninspired. . . and i’ve had a couple of waking hours to work on this. . . so it’s not like i haven’t tried to think of something.

i don’t feel like:
(continued from above)
going to a museum
shopping for groceries
shopping for fun
updating my myspace page/ friendster/ bebo/ facebook/ orkut etc
cleaning
sunning
hiking
cooking
reading
writing- let’s face it, i’m barely doing a mediocre job of updating this blog!
organizing
calling and chatting
listening to radio talk shows
making care packages for people
origami
checking out whatever lame show cable has to offer
figuring out the rubics cube (lasted a full 3 minutes before getting bored)
texting my friends
creating a postcard for postsecret
playing katamari damacy
playing piano (though i wouldn’t mind, it would involve showering and leaving the house which seems like two ‘anti’ steps to get to one that i’m not even sure would be worth it)
sweeping up the dead bug off my bathroom floor
watching out for my roommate’s dog
moping around to melancholy music

see. . . i’ve been mulling it over.

a ‘do over’ on today sounds nice. maybe try waking up slightly earlier and just forcing a day to happen. . . or perhaps i’ll just see if taking on a vampire’s schedule will do the trick. i’ll pass out for the rest of the daylight hours and wake up to see if i feel productive once the sun has gone down. . .. or just fill the rest of the day with however many episodes of QI i can . . . . or my computer can download.

is this the precursor that other people have before they move to spend their entire day drinking or smoking? what makes me more predisposed to just sleeping? ok. . . QI calls. later.




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