i don't feel. . .

hear i am, with a day off- (it’s still pretty early in the season) and i can’t seem to be inspired by anything to do.

of all the books on my shelf that are unread, i don’t feel like reading any of them.

i saw davinci code last weekend, and x-men last night, and nothing else seems to be striking my fancy.

i should have plenty to catch up on from work- blogwise, but i don’t feel like it.

i should run around a get some errands out of the way, but i don’t feel like it.

i should go to the gym, but i don’t feel like it.

i should wax my legs, but i don’t feel like it.

i should shower before going out, but i don’t feel like it.

(guess i could rationalize that i want to conserve water. . . )

there’s some cleaning around the house that’s begging to be taken care of. . . but i don’t feel like it.

i kinda just want to sit around and read a comic book, but i don’t have the one i want, which should spawn into a shopping trip, but i don’t feel like feeding the retail therapy beast today. daily show looked like a set of repeats this week, so i started downloading more episodes of QI. . . what is it about an intelligent and comedic british guy, that their ability to talk with a slight air of knowledgeable authority will immediately turn them into drool material? add a bit of daring 80’s androgynous make up and i’m a puddle of mush on the floor.

man, i wish i could carry more information in my brain. . . and have it easily accessible. the bizarre facts that stephen frye spouts out during the show are so fantastic, and yet, by the end of an episode i’m not even able to relate what was discussed in a general sense, let alone a true factoid. i have a few friends that are better with archival, historic, and obscure trivia type knowledge- i kind of categorize them together in my head, but none of them have ever met one another. i love being around them and getting them started on a subject. john, sarah, and neill. . . they’re all incredibly well spoken too. . . one finally started a blog, which i love reading, and i’ve prodded the other two several times, to little avail. if they were to write a book together, or have a talk show of some kind. . . that is exactly what i would be in the mood for right now. . . which is possibly why i’ve filled the void with QI. . . and the lack of initiative for the day. . . because what i want doesn’t exist readily available to me. ouch. . . self realization. . . i want something i can’t have. good theme for the day.

and tell me, why is it that on a day like today- where i decide to shun the outside world and human interaction-even possibly only leave my room for proper edible provisions and bathroom breaks, that i can’t for the life of me figure out a way of having large quantities of chocolate delivered directly to my door?! or perhaps some coldstone creamery ice cream. . . the apple pie flavor sans the apples and made with cake batter ice cream instead of their sweet cream ice cream. dammit. . . .i’ll have to shower and dress if i’m going to procure any of that. i guess now would be a good time to have a compliant boyfriend. . . or just a friend that feels like doting on my pathetic ass. . . or to become incredibly wealthy and partake of my ‘man servant’s’ duties.

do wealthy women have ‘man servants?’.. . . or ‘woman servants?’ as if i will someday need to know the difference. . . BAH!

as john would say, with a wave of his hand, ‘bring me my grapes!’

i have this itch to do something, but i am completely uninspired. . . and i’ve had a couple of waking hours to work on this. . . so it’s not like i haven’t tried to think of something.

i don’t feel like:
(continued from above)
going to a museum
shopping for groceries
shopping for fun
updating my myspace page/ friendster/ bebo/ facebook/ orkut etc
cleaning
sunning
hiking
cooking
reading
writing- let’s face it, i’m barely doing a mediocre job of updating this blog!
organizing
calling and chatting
listening to radio talk shows
making care packages for people
origami
checking out whatever lame show cable has to offer
figuring out the rubics cube (lasted a full 3 minutes before getting bored)
texting my friends
creating a postcard for postsecret
playing katamari damacy
playing piano (though i wouldn’t mind, it would involve showering and leaving the house which seems like two ‘anti’ steps to get to one that i’m not even sure would be worth it)
sweeping up the dead bug off my bathroom floor
watching out for my roommate’s dog
moping around to melancholy music

see. . . i’ve been mulling it over.

a ‘do over’ on today sounds nice. maybe try waking up slightly earlier and just forcing a day to happen. . . or perhaps i’ll just see if taking on a vampire’s schedule will do the trick. i’ll pass out for the rest of the daylight hours and wake up to see if i feel productive once the sun has gone down. . .. or just fill the rest of the day with however many episodes of QI i can . . . . or my computer can download.

is this the precursor that other people have before they move to spend their entire day drinking or smoking? what makes me more predisposed to just sleeping? ok. . . QI calls. later.

EVERYTHING. EVERYONE. EVERYWHERE. ENDS. - warning, contains some spoilers.

i recently got my roommate hooked on six feet under. she’s only seen the fourth season on up though. never the less. . . hooked. the 5th season recently came out and i added it to my netflix. we got through the first disc midweek, and then had two more for the weekend. since neither of us had much to do saturday night we were psyched to rip through the two discs. i knew there had to be an end, and i really wanted to see how it was done. it was kind leaked to me that everyone died. . . but i needed to see for myself. i was so happy to see a resurgence of the quirky inner monologue flashes that had waned in more recent seasons, like claire breaking out into a cabaret type song about how much her panty hose were bothering her at work, or david breaking into a memory of playing a part in a grade school production of ‘anything goes’. . . anyway. . . the end of the third and last disc i had in my hands, left us needing more.

there was nate, set to die again. . . they’d brought him back before, but i figured it would be different this time. . . and we needed to see for ourselves.

so, pajama clad, both katy and i decided to add hoodies to our attire to hide our bra-lessness, she donned glasses and i topped my freakishly looking red mop of a head in a hat. . . apparently watching tv for several hours can turn my hair into something akin to carrot top or side show bob . we headed out to hollywood video around 8pm, in order to acquire the last two dvds in the series. we then plopped down for another 4 hours. . . 4 hours of absolute gut wrenching anguish. seriously, i was dehydrated from crying and blowing my nose so much. it wasn’t bad. . . it was amazing. . . well written, like all the other episodes. . . but watching the pain of the characters was so tormenting. by the last episode, i was relieved the leave the story.

i’m wondering, does anyone know if the brief appearance of george’s short lived fiance, ‘joy’ was a nod to that other cable show about death, dead like me?- katy and i also netflixed those shows. it, too, was well written, honest, quirky, but respectful. . . and the mom from that show, joy, had one scene as george’s fiance. . . and i was wondering if that was intentional? seems a waste if it wasn’t. . . .

anyway, closing in on the last half hour of the last episode i’m wondering, how are they gonna pull off the death of everyone. i began cringing anytime a large group of them were in a room together. . . would billy finally lose it and spray them all with bullets from a automatic weapon? would there be a large terrible food poisoning accident at a family dinner? would their funeral cavalcade get squashed by an 18 wheeler that had lost control? would there be some terrible bombing of the funeral home? alas, none of it. . . thank goodness! how it was handled was unexpected- to me. . . true to the show, sad, but easing. . . i guess. . . you’ll have to judge for yourself, should you choose to.

bloodshot

bloodshot
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

you know how i said i was crying a lot, and blowing my nose. . . a lot. . . . guess i put a little strain on the old eyes. or just one eye. totally bloodshot. i've never even had a bloodshot eye. . . . this is a lot! this is even more gross than the aeon flux eye thing, i think.

dribbles and bits, and bits. . .

. . . and bits. . .

i hate getting out of bed in the middle of the night, even to pee. for the past couple of nights my bladder’s been screaming at me. one night i ignored it. . kept sleeping through, but it forced me to have a dream of peeing. before you get too excited about me possibly peeing the bed. . . that didn’t happen. however, when you pee in a dream, and not in real life. . . you get no release. so there i am, peeing in my dream. . . yet there is no relief. . . should’ve just gotten my ass outta bed to pee.

. . . and bits. . . .

i have a genuine santa fe car now. not because i got new mexico plates- i’ve had those for a while. in fact nothing was added to make my car genuine. . . in fact, something was lost. a hub cap to be exact. lame. and yet, my car seems to fit in better. maybe i should punch out a window and cover it in clear plastic. . . that, or go out and buy an SUV and add some spinners.

. . . and bits. . .

there was a story on npr this morning about a musician in st. louis. i can remember the name. . . but there’s no recordings of his piano playing, except possibly some player piano music reels. someone i knew or know had a player piano. it was either my aunt or my piano teacher. i think it might have been my piano teacher because i seem to remember being allowed to choose a music reel as a reward. i remember choosing, ‘you are so beautiful’. . . i think.

. . . and bits. . .

i used to be a much better task manager. my daily planner at school weighed at least 5 pounds. it was immediately obvious if i didn’t place it in my bag in the morning. my time used to be far more in demand, and i was able to get more done. . . somehow. i blame the lack of urgency in my life, especially during the winter. i need to make a better list, and i need to pay more attention to it, and attack it with a little more veracity. oh well, summer will be here soon enough, free time will be only a figment of my distant memory.

. . . and bits. . .

i used to be incredibly afraid of doctors. after a small childhood trauma i couldn’t go near them. mom and dad bought me a fisher-price doctor kit so i could try to ease into doctor’s visits. i made quite the scene in kindergarten when it was time for our tetanus shots. once i saw the line up of needles in the nurse’s office i just flipped. several, at least three, maybe five? teachers and other adults were called in to hold me down- little 5 year old me, what a hellion. i’ve gotten much better with doctors and needles since. . . but if you think i’m over it i’ve got news for you. during a recent doctor visit i had my blood pressure taken. . . twice. . . since the first number was totally scary, even the doc thought maybe i was suffering from some white coat anziety. the ‘before’ blood pressure was 18. . . that’s EIGHTEEN! points higher than the ‘after’ number.


. . . anyway. . . look at me, blogging mid-week. . . what WILL the neighbors say?

superorange

superorange
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

did i get your attention?

yeah, so this bowl of mandarin oranges sat with it's lid on about three weeks too long- totally my fault. it was DIS-GUS-TING to open. gooey, fuzzy, NASTY.

however, recently i've been pondering my own outcast standing. sometimes it's good and sometimes it's bad to be the outsider.-this i understand. but here is nature in action. . . in this particular bowl of oranges, being an outsider means being SUPER MANDARIN!, able to outlive the vile decomposition happening all around it. yeah, not an exact corrolation to my life. . . but LOOK at it. horrible, but you can't stop staring.

liz&amanda

liz&amanda
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

liz stopped by with her friend amanda, on their way out to la jolla. for a fun morning jaunt, i took them to fridgehenge.

liz&me

liz&me
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

liz's mind was flooded with fond memories as we took an opera tour. and we paused briefly for a shot.

gc2

gc2
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

i figured it was time for me to post some of the grand canyon pictures.

gc4

gc4
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

on the first leg of my rim trail hike, i interupted breakfast. wasn't it nice of her to pose though? you can't see all of them, but behind me was something like 13 deer, and they were THAT close.

gc6

gc6
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

i didn't quiet master the 'me in the foreground, canyon in the background' shot. . . but oh well.

gc8

gc8
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

not a bad view.

gc9

gc9
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

i could take and post thousands of pictures. . . but, it's just not the same as seeing it.

crater1

crater1
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

meteor crater on the way back home from the grand canyon.

crater2

crater2
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

this astronaut wall of fame is outside the meteor crate.

crater3

crater3
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

one of the astronaut's name's here is someone my mom will recognize.

origamiaerial

origamiaerial
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

i had a little hobby time on my hands a number of weekends ago. . . so i made some cranes . . .ok, quite a few cranes.

origamilineup

origamilineup
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

origami cranes on parade.

mobile

mobile
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

i made some origami flowers as well, and turned some of them into a baby mobile for a friend's newborn. this is the view from below. . . try to imagine it without the ceiling fan behind it.

i got nuthin'

i need a haircut so bad i’ve been dreaming about visiting a salon. but still, i want to hold out a bit, so it lasts a little longer into the summer. it’s getting really annoying though.

i got the katamari damacy game soundtrack from my friend, dan (thank you!). i LOVE it. i haven’t stopped listening to it. does that make me an official addict?

i’m netflixing some more sopranos. peter bogdanovich is the director of this one. he gave a speech at my college graduation.

hey, i warned you. . . i got nuthin’.

the home depot chronicles, part 34

i’ve been thinking about writing, or at least detailing my more interesting stories from being a professional shopper. granted, i’m not solely a shopper, nor am i a personal assistant type shopper. i do a lot of the shopping for the santa fe opera scene shop during the winter, and about the same for the electric shop during the summer. yet, i’ve have so many fantastic, and fantastically maddening tales. . . . i mentioned it to my roommate as well. she is also a shopper- she works in the prop shop for the opera, come to think of it, i have another friend, who’s worked as a prop shopper for a couple of theatres. . . man, we could put together a BOOK! too bad, i didn’t write it all down as it happened. . . now i’ll have to make use of my poor memory. . . . but not today!

i’d spent the better half of the day driving from place to place in albuquerque, dropping off broken equipment and picking up a few other items. i only had one place left to go before heading back to the opera to finish out my day. . . home depot. most of my best stories happen here. all i can think is, ‘when will a lowe’s or something move into santa fe? home depot needs some serious competition.’ trust me, whenever feasible i take my business to smaller, more helpful hardware stores. . . . but i still get to home depot anywhere from 2 to 5 times a week on average. . . . sometimes as much as three times a day. . .. those are really bad days.

so, there i was, on a very long line with 3 items.* a couple packages of zip ties, and a broom, that’s it. finally it was my turn, the cashier scanned the two bags of zip ties and then grabbed the broom. the upc had been ripped off the cardboard packaging. i hadn’t noticed. . . and since i abhor having to wait for a price check, i’m usually very careful to make sure everything has it’s pricing. i’m especially careful when i need to have something cut, like a piece of molding or some electrical wire. i ask for the sku# as well as a sticker from the worker that made the cut, so there is no question. . . . but there i am, with no bar code. the cashier looks as me and says, ‘there’s no bar code.’ i say, ‘damn, i didn’t even notice.’ she stares at me a while, and i can see the wheels turning. i know exactly what she’s thinking, she wants me to go get a different one. but no way am i rolling over and acting like it’s my fault that the upc was ripped off her company’s merchandise. so i stand there and stare back. she picks up her walkie and says, ‘well i can call someone, or you can go get another.’ at this point i have a very rapid argument in my head. the first side went something like this, ‘well, doesn’t this company employ and pay people on the floor, in part for this purpose? and why should i be doing my job as well as your co-worker’s job?’. . . . but then i quickly thought of all the wonderful (sniff sniff. . . that would be sarcasm) help i’ve received on the floor of this fine establishment. i smiled real big and said, ‘well, i bet i’ll be faster.’ and turned on my heels. i really wish i had added a, ‘won’t i?’ to the end of it, just for added rhetorical snarkiness. after all, the store has just had some major remodeling. . . and it takes me a couple extra minutes to find whatever i’m looking for, now that it’s all moved around. . . . and if it takes me a couple extra minutes, then it will take their employees at least double what it takes me. i arrive back, with my upc emblazened broom, pay, and leave. . . . seething.

of course the rest of my day went to suit. my computer died, well actually exploded yesterday- no shrapnel. . . just a big POP and fizzle. i got a new tower the same day, but the program i use to budget wasn’t working. that got fixed shortly after i got back to the opera. i started going over some of the receipts, and went to print. . . but that function wasn’t working. . .right at a few minutes to five. . . so IT is gone, and i don’t get to finish anything. arg.

it’s possible that dealing with home depot is just slightly less annoying than dealing with sprint customer service. it’s a good thing there are no infants in my day to day life. . . days like this make me want to punch babies.




*note, there is always a long line. there are only about 2 or 3 cashiers at one time. an extra cashier will try to persuade you to move to the self check out which will promptly break down, or won’t scan your large package or read it on it’s weight sensor correctly, then prompting you to ‘please place package in bag area“ for 3 minutes before the manager resets it, or it will need a paper receipt roll change as you go to pay. in my case, i still need to have the cashier come around to check my tax exempt card, then hunt down the proper tax exempt forms which are (usually) readily available at a non self check out station. . . all in all, more trouble than standing in line for a while.