just recently found this again and thought i'd share. . . it's just so damn funny!
Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Taster Named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:
"Recently I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event:
*** Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
*** Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili
JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
*** Chili # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now, get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all the beer.
*** Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic
JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burn-out taste buds? Sally,the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?
*** Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover
JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off? It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!
*** Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally, she must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!
*** Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4 inch hole in my stomach.
*** Chili # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili
JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he'd have reacted to a really hot chili?
FRANK: -------------- (editor's note: Judge #3 was unable to report)
11.29.2004
This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it.
It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.
As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was a manila envelope.
He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.
The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.
After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "F--- you!".
Then he turned to his bride and said, "F--- you!".
Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm outta here."
He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge for making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.
This guy has balls the size of church bells.
Do you think we might get a MasterCard "priceless" commercial out of this?
Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends........$32,000
Wedding photographs commemorating the occasion..........................$3,000
Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui......................$8,500
The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man ..............................................Priceless
There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MasterCard
It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.
As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was a manila envelope.
He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.
The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.
After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "F--- you!".
Then he turned to his bride and said, "F--- you!".
Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm outta here."
He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge for making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.
This guy has balls the size of church bells.
Do you think we might get a MasterCard "priceless" commercial out of this?
Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends........$32,000
Wedding photographs commemorating the occasion..........................$3,000
Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui......................$8,500
The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man ..............................................Priceless
There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MasterCard
How to tell if you live in a red, or blue state.
-from betty bowers
Blue States: Home of good schools
Red States: Homeskooled good
Blue States: Want a big tent for their Party.
Red States: Wears a big tent to her party.
Blue States: Favor electric cars
Red States: Favor electric chairs
Blue States: Concerned about ballooning deficits' effect on capital markets turning gains into thin air
Red States: Concerned about whether it's demons that make balloons float in thin air
Blue States: Dream of making enough money to kite and swim with Czechs in Biarritz
Red States: Dream of kiting enough checks to swim in Schlitz
Blue States: Favor institutionalized health care for the poor
Red States: Favor institutionalizing the poor
Blue States: After the 9/11 attacks, put coffins in the ground
Red States: After the 9/11 attacks, put magnetic flags on the car
Blue States: Forget that God did not give Adam a Steve
Red States: Forget that not only did God give Abraham three wives, He gave Solomon 300 concubines
Blue States: Enormous cities that serve as the engines of human progress
Red States: Enormous Hummers that serve as the engines for Arab oil
Blue States: Provide the "tax" part of "tax and spend"
Red States: Provide the "spend on a new 8-lane highway to link a Wal-Mart to the Olive Garden" part of "tax and spend"
Blue States: Believe we're all brothers and sisters under the skin.
Red States: Don't mind if we're brothers and sisters under the sheets.
Blue States: Fighting to clean up skid row
Red States: Fighting to clean up skid marks
Blue States: 9/11 survivors mourned at night as the television coverage showed those killed
Red States: Mourned television coverage of 9/11 that killed that night's "Survivor" show
Blue States: Concerned about global warming
Red States: Don't like to travel and are too fat to fit in an airline seat anyway, so glad to hear that the tropics are coming to Texas. Yee-haw!
Blue States: Follow Jesus, but doesn't believe in Him
Red States: Believe in Jesus, but doesn't follow Him
Blue States: Want to repeal the Patriot Act
Red States: Want to repeal the Emancipation Proclamation
Blue States: Looking for a method to weaken China every day
Red States: Sold everyday china for a weekend of meth
Blue States: Favor drafting annoying laws on assault rifles
Red States: Assault annoying in-laws with rifles after being drafted
Blue States: Want the right for everyone to worship as they choose
Red States: Want the right to choose everyone's worship
Blue States: Champion women wrestling with the right to choose
Red States: Choose women's wrestling championships
Blue States: Want a rational energy policy
Red States: Want policy of energetic irrationalism
Blue States: Used benefits to assist victims on account of attacks
Red States: Used attacks to benefit Toby Keith's bank account
Blue States: Watched friends in New York die in foxy attacks on America
Red States: Attack New York on Fox for not being friends of America
Blue States: Believe God loves us and gave everyone free will to be different
Red States: Believe God willed us to freely hate everyone different
Blue States: Believe absence makes the heart grow fonder
Red States: Believe abstinence saves the tart from plunder
Blue States: Believe in Mr. Darwin's theory of "Evolution"
Red States: Believe in Mr. Jesus' "Talking Snake" theory
Blue States: Slave to pay inheritance taxes
Red States: Inherited slaves
Blue States: Buy art
Red States: Collect Beanie Babies
-from betty bowers
Blue States: Home of good schools
Red States: Homeskooled good
Blue States: Want a big tent for their Party.
Red States: Wears a big tent to her party.
Blue States: Favor electric cars
Red States: Favor electric chairs
Blue States: Concerned about ballooning deficits' effect on capital markets turning gains into thin air
Red States: Concerned about whether it's demons that make balloons float in thin air
Blue States: Dream of making enough money to kite and swim with Czechs in Biarritz
Red States: Dream of kiting enough checks to swim in Schlitz
Blue States: Favor institutionalized health care for the poor
Red States: Favor institutionalizing the poor
Blue States: After the 9/11 attacks, put coffins in the ground
Red States: After the 9/11 attacks, put magnetic flags on the car
Blue States: Forget that God did not give Adam a Steve
Red States: Forget that not only did God give Abraham three wives, He gave Solomon 300 concubines
Blue States: Enormous cities that serve as the engines of human progress
Red States: Enormous Hummers that serve as the engines for Arab oil
Blue States: Provide the "tax" part of "tax and spend"
Red States: Provide the "spend on a new 8-lane highway to link a Wal-Mart to the Olive Garden" part of "tax and spend"
Blue States: Believe we're all brothers and sisters under the skin.
Red States: Don't mind if we're brothers and sisters under the sheets.
Blue States: Fighting to clean up skid row
Red States: Fighting to clean up skid marks
Blue States: 9/11 survivors mourned at night as the television coverage showed those killed
Red States: Mourned television coverage of 9/11 that killed that night's "Survivor" show
Blue States: Concerned about global warming
Red States: Don't like to travel and are too fat to fit in an airline seat anyway, so glad to hear that the tropics are coming to Texas. Yee-haw!
Blue States: Follow Jesus, but doesn't believe in Him
Red States: Believe in Jesus, but doesn't follow Him
Blue States: Want to repeal the Patriot Act
Red States: Want to repeal the Emancipation Proclamation
Blue States: Looking for a method to weaken China every day
Red States: Sold everyday china for a weekend of meth
Blue States: Favor drafting annoying laws on assault rifles
Red States: Assault annoying in-laws with rifles after being drafted
Blue States: Want the right for everyone to worship as they choose
Red States: Want the right to choose everyone's worship
Blue States: Champion women wrestling with the right to choose
Red States: Choose women's wrestling championships
Blue States: Want a rational energy policy
Red States: Want policy of energetic irrationalism
Blue States: Used benefits to assist victims on account of attacks
Red States: Used attacks to benefit Toby Keith's bank account
Blue States: Watched friends in New York die in foxy attacks on America
Red States: Attack New York on Fox for not being friends of America
Blue States: Believe God loves us and gave everyone free will to be different
Red States: Believe God willed us to freely hate everyone different
Blue States: Believe absence makes the heart grow fonder
Red States: Believe abstinence saves the tart from plunder
Blue States: Believe in Mr. Darwin's theory of "Evolution"
Red States: Believe in Mr. Jesus' "Talking Snake" theory
Blue States: Slave to pay inheritance taxes
Red States: Inherited slaves
Blue States: Buy art
Red States: Collect Beanie Babies
something amusing for a snowy monday morning. . .
yes, there was a bit of powder on the roads, so i took my ride to the opera a little slower than usual. . . but the highway seemed fine and i was becoming rather annoyed with someone in front of my who kept riding their brakes and wasn't able to decided on which lane they wanted to occupy. . . when i had the chance to pass them i felt a superior snow driver. . . but as i fishtailed onto the actual opera road, i decided to not be as cocky and took the ride even more slowly.
even driving straight through one patch i could feel my car pull from below me. i slowed down more, thinking about how i would joke about my lateness and blame it on having only front wheel drive and a bad road. however, coming around one of the many bends in the road, there were all of my coworkers. some just pulled over, and one or two more actually had skidded off the road a bit. . . they motioned to me to keep going as far as i could. among them were 3 pick up trucks and one car. . . .further up a hill was another car, skidding slightly as he tried to make it up the last bit of hill. i stopped breifly behind him (since he was in the middle of the road) but he also motioned for me to continue past him. it was a tougher start. . . i slipped a bit, but then got my car rocking and pumped my gas pedal, or brake pedal (depending on the needs) the entire way into the parking lot. as i crawled up the hill i saw people cheering me on from behind.
once situated inside, i called their cell phones to see if they needed help, but they were going to rely on one of them with four wheel drive to try and tow them out. i should note that at 8am and hour later, i haven't heard them come in yet. . . but i figure they'll call if they need help.
so, whether it's luck, something odd about my car, or my extremely good snow driving skills honed in upstate ny (my first time ever driving was on black ice). . . i'm the first into the parking lot this morning. :) whoo hoo?!
yes, there was a bit of powder on the roads, so i took my ride to the opera a little slower than usual. . . but the highway seemed fine and i was becoming rather annoyed with someone in front of my who kept riding their brakes and wasn't able to decided on which lane they wanted to occupy. . . when i had the chance to pass them i felt a superior snow driver. . . but as i fishtailed onto the actual opera road, i decided to not be as cocky and took the ride even more slowly.
even driving straight through one patch i could feel my car pull from below me. i slowed down more, thinking about how i would joke about my lateness and blame it on having only front wheel drive and a bad road. however, coming around one of the many bends in the road, there were all of my coworkers. some just pulled over, and one or two more actually had skidded off the road a bit. . . they motioned to me to keep going as far as i could. among them were 3 pick up trucks and one car. . . .further up a hill was another car, skidding slightly as he tried to make it up the last bit of hill. i stopped breifly behind him (since he was in the middle of the road) but he also motioned for me to continue past him. it was a tougher start. . . i slipped a bit, but then got my car rocking and pumped my gas pedal, or brake pedal (depending on the needs) the entire way into the parking lot. as i crawled up the hill i saw people cheering me on from behind.
once situated inside, i called their cell phones to see if they needed help, but they were going to rely on one of them with four wheel drive to try and tow them out. i should note that at 8am and hour later, i haven't heard them come in yet. . . but i figure they'll call if they need help.
so, whether it's luck, something odd about my car, or my extremely good snow driving skills honed in upstate ny (my first time ever driving was on black ice). . . i'm the first into the parking lot this morning. :) whoo hoo?!
11.21.2004
my non-ghost story
not sure why, but i don't think i've relayed this one yet, and it came up in my mind (probably because of the sci-fi show that i can now enjoy with my cable. . 'ghost hunters'). . . so thought i'd share.
it was my first summer in kent, when i had to work at Porthole, sorry, i mean Porthouse. . . summer theatre company. i was befriending a bunch of people that were new to me. . . and somewhere down the line we got into ghost stories. the painter, i think his name was neil (terrible that i can't remember) mentioned that he liked to take people on this drive where they could see a ghost in a graveyard. he'd been doing it for about 5 years. . . and taken many a people out to this graveyard to see this ghost. i thought this sounded great. . . we could go ghost hunting! yipee. . .
as the story goes, this gray woman appears in the evening to watch over a grave- supposedly belonging to a loved one. i asked if anyone had seen her during the day, and no. . . no one had bothered to go out there during the day. then i asked how close anyone had gotten to her, and if anyone had attempted to make contact. .. . . no one had ever gotten out of the car. this absolutely needed some investigation.
it was me, another electrician -matt, the painter-neil, and the assistant technical director (i think his name was jason). we piled into neil's car and went on a decently lengthy ride. . . through a lot of rural land, twists and turns. definitely off the beaten path. i was armed pretty well, with a flashlight, a laser pointer, and some salt- (i'd heard it's rather protective and i though, better safe then sorry- JUST IN CASE) everyone was all gun ho about checking this out to the largest extent possible.
we approached the graveyard, and there she was. a tall gray figure leaning over a gravestone. we were all very excited. . . . neil made to turn around and make another pass and jason exclaimed that she was facing the other way on our first pass. . . i wasn't sure. . .. i wanted to get out and get a closer, and better look. and all of a sudden, matt and jason weren't up to getting out of the car. 'no, i'm not sure.' 'let's just head back.'. . . . blah blah blah. . . no we were getting out of the car and getting a closer look.
neil pulled into the small lot. and we all got out and started walking towards her. ok, now i may have seemed pretty ballsy, but i was completely nervous as well. . . what if she was a real ghost? how was i going to react to that? we made out way to her very slowly. i decided not to use a laser pointer, rationalizing that if she was a real ghosst that somehow pointing a laser beam into her would be rather disrespectful, and i didn't want to anger her. . . just in case. she kinda looked like stone. . . but it was so gray out, there was no decent defining light source to help out. . . we needed to get closer.
'guys, i think she's just a statue. . . i think.' i said it outloud, but had this image in my head. . . . her own head was facing downwards and was covered by a cascade of hair, so we couldn't see any facial features. . . but if you've seen the first ghostbuster movie then you might have an understanding for my mental image. each time i tried to imagine getting close enough to see her face, i envisioned her head upturning to reveal this hideously angry demonic face. . . kinda like that part in ghostbusters where they first encounter that librarian ghost and yell, 'get her' and she transforms into a rather scary entity. so even though i was verbally trying to convince the group and myself. . . . this image was slowing my feet a little.
we were then only a row of gravestones away from her. she was stone. . . .we were nearly completely sure. there was only one act to solidify it. someone needed to actually walk up and touch her. . . 'i'm not gonna touch her, you do it.' . . . 'uh huh. . . you!'. . . 'i dare you'. . . 'no way, i dare you!'. . . . you get the idea.
then suddenly a car was approaching. . . someone yelled that it was a cop. the group of us went to duck for cover. . . . matt and neil fled to the side, and jason and i ended up right at her feet. . . bumping into her. complete stone. a very sad looking figure standing over the grave with one arm draped over the top of the stone, and her grecian like draped dress just adding to the weight that seemed to sit with her. she was slightly larger then real life. . . and just really sad, and, well, kinda creepy looking . . . . but not a ghost.
we drove back home, feeling a little triumphant. . . and a little regretful. we'd disproved this wonderful thing that neil had been participating in for years. but we did have a pretty good time, and a good story to tell afterward.
"when you sit right down in the middle of yourself
you're gonna wanna have a comfortable chair"
not sure why, but i don't think i've relayed this one yet, and it came up in my mind (probably because of the sci-fi show that i can now enjoy with my cable. . 'ghost hunters'). . . so thought i'd share.
it was my first summer in kent, when i had to work at Porthole, sorry, i mean Porthouse. . . summer theatre company. i was befriending a bunch of people that were new to me. . . and somewhere down the line we got into ghost stories. the painter, i think his name was neil (terrible that i can't remember) mentioned that he liked to take people on this drive where they could see a ghost in a graveyard. he'd been doing it for about 5 years. . . and taken many a people out to this graveyard to see this ghost. i thought this sounded great. . . we could go ghost hunting! yipee. . .
as the story goes, this gray woman appears in the evening to watch over a grave- supposedly belonging to a loved one. i asked if anyone had seen her during the day, and no. . . no one had bothered to go out there during the day. then i asked how close anyone had gotten to her, and if anyone had attempted to make contact. .. . . no one had ever gotten out of the car. this absolutely needed some investigation.
it was me, another electrician -matt, the painter-neil, and the assistant technical director (i think his name was jason). we piled into neil's car and went on a decently lengthy ride. . . through a lot of rural land, twists and turns. definitely off the beaten path. i was armed pretty well, with a flashlight, a laser pointer, and some salt- (i'd heard it's rather protective and i though, better safe then sorry- JUST IN CASE) everyone was all gun ho about checking this out to the largest extent possible.
we approached the graveyard, and there she was. a tall gray figure leaning over a gravestone. we were all very excited. . . . neil made to turn around and make another pass and jason exclaimed that she was facing the other way on our first pass. . . i wasn't sure. . .. i wanted to get out and get a closer, and better look. and all of a sudden, matt and jason weren't up to getting out of the car. 'no, i'm not sure.' 'let's just head back.'. . . . blah blah blah. . . no we were getting out of the car and getting a closer look.
neil pulled into the small lot. and we all got out and started walking towards her. ok, now i may have seemed pretty ballsy, but i was completely nervous as well. . . what if she was a real ghost? how was i going to react to that? we made out way to her very slowly. i decided not to use a laser pointer, rationalizing that if she was a real ghosst that somehow pointing a laser beam into her would be rather disrespectful, and i didn't want to anger her. . . just in case. she kinda looked like stone. . . but it was so gray out, there was no decent defining light source to help out. . . we needed to get closer.
'guys, i think she's just a statue. . . i think.' i said it outloud, but had this image in my head. . . . her own head was facing downwards and was covered by a cascade of hair, so we couldn't see any facial features. . . but if you've seen the first ghostbuster movie then you might have an understanding for my mental image. each time i tried to imagine getting close enough to see her face, i envisioned her head upturning to reveal this hideously angry demonic face. . . kinda like that part in ghostbusters where they first encounter that librarian ghost and yell, 'get her' and she transforms into a rather scary entity. so even though i was verbally trying to convince the group and myself. . . . this image was slowing my feet a little.
we were then only a row of gravestones away from her. she was stone. . . .we were nearly completely sure. there was only one act to solidify it. someone needed to actually walk up and touch her. . . 'i'm not gonna touch her, you do it.' . . . 'uh huh. . . you!'. . . 'i dare you'. . . 'no way, i dare you!'. . . . you get the idea.
then suddenly a car was approaching. . . someone yelled that it was a cop. the group of us went to duck for cover. . . . matt and neil fled to the side, and jason and i ended up right at her feet. . . bumping into her. complete stone. a very sad looking figure standing over the grave with one arm draped over the top of the stone, and her grecian like draped dress just adding to the weight that seemed to sit with her. she was slightly larger then real life. . . and just really sad, and, well, kinda creepy looking . . . . but not a ghost.
we drove back home, feeling a little triumphant. . . and a little regretful. we'd disproved this wonderful thing that neil had been participating in for years. but we did have a pretty good time, and a good story to tell afterward.
"when you sit right down in the middle of yourself
you're gonna wanna have a comfortable chair"
11.14.2004
soooo. . . guess who has a cable modem and digital cable. . . . that's right. . . this girl. and guess who's watched about 4 hours of celebrity poker in the past two days. . . . that's right. . . this girl. well, jared and i are still working out how to both share an IP. . . but that will change when we get te wireless router. . . oh yeah. . . so, we're sharing the net, but i'm here now!. . . whoo hooo. . . . .
it's all very exciting. but other than complete sensory overload. . . there's not too much happening. i've watched daily show, while downloading movie trailers and chatting online. . . . what else is there to life really? now, if i could only win the lottery so i would never have to leave my apt. . or by that time it would be a stylish house. . . but i think you get the idea.
it's all very exciting. but other than complete sensory overload. . . there's not too much happening. i've watched daily show, while downloading movie trailers and chatting online. . . . what else is there to life really? now, if i could only win the lottery so i would never have to leave my apt. . or by that time it would be a stylish house. . . but i think you get the idea.
11.11.2004
MEME
(got this from another person's live journal)
Sometimes late at night... i wake up and find that i've been squinting, for hours, in my dream.
If only I could go back... i would pay more attention.
Someone told me once that... if i said 'bloody mary' into a mirror at midnight, a woman would appear and attempt to kill me. . . i still have NEVER done it.
I have no willpower when... faced with a brownie. . . and not the little female ones selling cookies, but the scrumptious chocolatey ones.
I can't stand... snotty loud people.
When I think of love... i feel overwhelmed.
I always question... myself. . . not enough trust there.
The last time I cried... was last night while taking a hot shower i thought of my grandmother (who has passed away) and racked my brain for five minutes when i though i'd forgotten the anniversary date of her death. . .then i remembered, april 7th-she died, april 8- is my grandfather's birthday, and april 9th is their wedding anniversary.
My reoccuring dream... is of a car crash. . . the car is buried in rubble and dirt, but a small seed (one cell of me) germinates until it creates another human-someone that i'm fearful of, that isn't at all me. (i've had it since i was 6 or so. . . but not recently)
Cell phones... can be really handy . . . and REALLY annoying.
You are about to expire. You can say two words to the world before you go. What two words would you choose to carry on in the life you left behind? . . . be kind.
these were her answers. . .
Sometimes late at night... I wake up and check on Jonah, even though nothing is wrong.
If only I could go back... I would fight harder for everything.
Someone told me once that... if you put rose petals under your pillow at night, you would dream about the man you were going to marry.
I have no willpower when... faced with peer pressure.
I can't stand... incompetent people.
When I think of love... I am forever hopeful.
I always question... people's reasoning.
The last time I cried... was this morning, after I dropped off a screaming Jonah at daycare.
My reoccuring dream... is that I am in the middle of a war and bombs are dropping all around me.
Cell phones... are dangerous to talk on while you're driving.
You are about to expire. You can say two words to the world before you go. What two words would you choose to carry on in the life you left behind? Remember me.*
*but, ah, forget my fate
(got this from another person's live journal)
Sometimes late at night... i wake up and find that i've been squinting, for hours, in my dream.
If only I could go back... i would pay more attention.
Someone told me once that... if i said 'bloody mary' into a mirror at midnight, a woman would appear and attempt to kill me. . . i still have NEVER done it.
I have no willpower when... faced with a brownie. . . and not the little female ones selling cookies, but the scrumptious chocolatey ones.
I can't stand... snotty loud people.
When I think of love... i feel overwhelmed.
I always question... myself. . . not enough trust there.
The last time I cried... was last night while taking a hot shower i thought of my grandmother (who has passed away) and racked my brain for five minutes when i though i'd forgotten the anniversary date of her death. . .then i remembered, april 7th-she died, april 8- is my grandfather's birthday, and april 9th is their wedding anniversary.
My reoccuring dream... is of a car crash. . . the car is buried in rubble and dirt, but a small seed (one cell of me) germinates until it creates another human-someone that i'm fearful of, that isn't at all me. (i've had it since i was 6 or so. . . but not recently)
Cell phones... can be really handy . . . and REALLY annoying.
You are about to expire. You can say two words to the world before you go. What two words would you choose to carry on in the life you left behind? . . . be kind.
these were her answers. . .
Sometimes late at night... I wake up and check on Jonah, even though nothing is wrong.
If only I could go back... I would fight harder for everything.
Someone told me once that... if you put rose petals under your pillow at night, you would dream about the man you were going to marry.
I have no willpower when... faced with peer pressure.
I can't stand... incompetent people.
When I think of love... I am forever hopeful.
I always question... people's reasoning.
The last time I cried... was this morning, after I dropped off a screaming Jonah at daycare.
My reoccuring dream... is that I am in the middle of a war and bombs are dropping all around me.
Cell phones... are dangerous to talk on while you're driving.
You are about to expire. You can say two words to the world before you go. What two words would you choose to carry on in the life you left behind? Remember me.*
*but, ah, forget my fate
11.08.2004
ok. . . how about some advice. . .
i'm sick of my hair. . . sick sick sick of it.
i kinda want to grow it out, at least a little more, but i can't seem to wait long enough before i actually cut it. i tend to keep it in pigtails while at work. . . which is the majority of the time. . . . and i let it down, whether it's curly or if i straighten it. . . on weekends. . .
i've been toying and researching the idea of doing some dreadlock action. . . .
any ideas?
i'm sick of my hair. . . sick sick sick of it.
i kinda want to grow it out, at least a little more, but i can't seem to wait long enough before i actually cut it. i tend to keep it in pigtails while at work. . . which is the majority of the time. . . . and i let it down, whether it's curly or if i straighten it. . . on weekends. . .
i've been toying and researching the idea of doing some dreadlock action. . . .
any ideas?
11.06.2004
i think i'm too depressed to blog. . . . i wonder if there will be any psychiatrists that will make out fiscally from election depression?
well, one thing to be happy? about is that this time next week, i should have cable, and shortly after that. . .cable modem. . . . whoo-hoo.
i almost posted different thoughts along the whole election. . . .but i think i've become apathetic.
i am glad i no longer live in ohio. . . i guess that's one thing. hope all is well with you all.
well, one thing to be happy? about is that this time next week, i should have cable, and shortly after that. . .cable modem. . . . whoo-hoo.
i almost posted different thoughts along the whole election. . . .but i think i've become apathetic.
i am glad i no longer live in ohio. . . i guess that's one thing. hope all is well with you all.
"your next bold move"
coming of age during the plague
of reagan and bush
watching capitalism gun down democracy
it had this funny effect on me
i guess
i am cancer
i am HIV
and i'm down at the blue jesus
blue cross hospital
just lookin' up from my pillow
feeling blessed
and the mighty multinationals
have monopolized the oxygen
so it's as easy as breathing
for us all to participate
yes they're buying and selling
off shares of air
and you know it's all around you
but it's hard to point and say "there"
so you just sit on your hands
and quietly contemplate
your next bold move
the next thing you're gonna need to prove
to yourself
what a waste of thumbs that are opposable
to make machines that are disposable
and sell them to seagulls flying in circles
around one big right wing
yes, the left wing was broken long ago
by the slingshot of cointelpro
and now it's so hard to have faith in
anything
especially your next bold move
or the next thing you're gonna need to prove
to yourself
you want to track each trickle
back to its source
and then scream up the faucet
'til your face is hoarse
cuz you're surrounded by a world's worth
of things you just can't excuse
but you've got the hard cough of a chain smoker
and you're at the arctic circle playing strip poker
and it's getting colder and colder
everytime you lose
so go ahead
make your next bold move
tell us
what's the next thing you're gonna need to prove
to yourself
-ani difranco
coming of age during the plague
of reagan and bush
watching capitalism gun down democracy
it had this funny effect on me
i guess
i am cancer
i am HIV
and i'm down at the blue jesus
blue cross hospital
just lookin' up from my pillow
feeling blessed
and the mighty multinationals
have monopolized the oxygen
so it's as easy as breathing
for us all to participate
yes they're buying and selling
off shares of air
and you know it's all around you
but it's hard to point and say "there"
so you just sit on your hands
and quietly contemplate
your next bold move
the next thing you're gonna need to prove
to yourself
what a waste of thumbs that are opposable
to make machines that are disposable
and sell them to seagulls flying in circles
around one big right wing
yes, the left wing was broken long ago
by the slingshot of cointelpro
and now it's so hard to have faith in
anything
especially your next bold move
or the next thing you're gonna need to prove
to yourself
you want to track each trickle
back to its source
and then scream up the faucet
'til your face is hoarse
cuz you're surrounded by a world's worth
of things you just can't excuse
but you've got the hard cough of a chain smoker
and you're at the arctic circle playing strip poker
and it's getting colder and colder
everytime you lose
so go ahead
make your next bold move
tell us
what's the next thing you're gonna need to prove
to yourself
-ani difranco
10.31.2004
so, last weekend i flew out to las vegas for a lighting conference. ii had already heard from some people that they would or wouldn't be there, so i was excited about catching up with some people. i was also to meet up with people from work and walk around the show floor to check out different technologies and such, things that might be useful to us in the future. . . oh, yeah. . . and hang out in las vegas BABY!. . .
first night i met up with trevor. . . he set up a great place for us at the orleans hotel. . . . i didn't actually take a picture of it. . but the outside was themed to look a little like buildings from a new orleans street.
the first night, trevor and i decided to catch a shuttle to downtown and walk around as many casinos as possible. . . we only got about half as far as we wanted and had to hit the other side later. . . but it is kinda like disney for adults. all the different themes and such. we stopped a ghiradelli for some treats and witnessed a lame outdoor concert. . . . the only thing fun about it was a drunk couple dancing. . . and not that part so much, but the part when the man hoisted the woman up and as she slid down her short jean skirt slid up revealing that she had decided to go commando that evening. . . well done!
this is trevor and me at the venetian. . .
we were about to head back toward the shuttle after walking through the venetian a bit when low and behold, i ran into my college roommate, and her new husband on their honeymoon! i had kinda thought, as i was getting on my plane, that she had mentioned they were honeymooning in vegas sometime in october. . . . but it was totally great running into her on a whim. we made plans that evening to meet up for lunch a little later in the weekend. . .
here's us after dinner outside paradise island. . .
friday day, trevor and i walked the show floor and i ran into a bunch of people from emerson, brian fehd, brian pratt, dave marcucci (who i hadn't seen since he left school my freshman year). . . then the santa fe opera group showed up. oh, and i got a call from matt filmeck (from kent who now lives and works in the vegas area) to meet up for lunch. so matt picked trevor and me up for dinner, then we headed out to see if we could catch a show of penn and teller. . . . we made it, and it was fantastic! half the time they debunk magic and make fun of all the shows in vegas, and the rest of the time they amaze you with their own magic. teller does this trick. . . so wonderful, with the shadow of a flower in a vase projected. as he cuts at the shadow of the flower, the bits he slices at on the real flower just downstage of him actually fall off. . . . so simple in a way, and so bewildering. . .
after the show matt drove us out to the freemont st. experience. . . .
i was a little disappointed that they only do one show a night that is just loud music and swirly shapes and colors. . . . they've moved to doing small movies instead, as you can see. . . this one was about alien abduction. . . lame. . .
here are trevor and matt watching the canapy. . .
and here are me and matt. . . don't know why i'm so compelled to take these self portrait type shots, when i'm contantly looking in the wrong direction and half cut out of the picture. . . . but oh well. . .
so, that was friday. saturday i met with jen and scott for lunch and we chatted a bit. . . then i was scheduled to meet with the santa fe opera people and we were all going to walk around and check out different booths and such. it was a long afternoon, but there is such a difference walking into a booth and asking for a demostration when you have a world famous lighting designer, duane schuler, walking in with you. suddenly the people there want to show you every little thing and allow you to touch and check out a few more things than when you are without said designer. even fehd, who i caught up with half way through asked if i knew the man in the black sport coat in the group i was standing with. . . and i said, 'yeah, that's duane, i work with him at the opera'. . . and brian was impressed. . . . :) i wish i had taken a couple of pictures of the other people there. . . but it was kind of a work environment, and it felt tacky/ desparate to do so. . . even with the camera phone.
saturday night, trevor and i went to see blueman group. . .yeah, i saw the show. . . AGAIN. . . and still LOVED it. and as an added extra. . . . at the top of the show, when they scroll through people's names and make you say happy birthday and such to different audience members. . . my name scrolled across. . . well, i was laughing so hard that i missed that i had been announced as an olympic gold medal winner. . . i don't even know what event. the entire audience congratulated me, and the woman next to me asked if i was really a gold member winner. . . i had to tell her no. . . (i should've said it was only a silver!)
yeah, show was incredible, as usual. and trevor and i walked around a few more casinos. i actually didn't put one single coin in a slot, or do ANY gambling. . . just not in me i guess. but here's a shot of a sunset with part of the venetian statuary in the foreground. . . .
we also stopped at aladdins, where we got some drinks and dessert. dave, my santa fe opera boss, told me that there was a dessert there that would make me blush. actually, i think it was the wild turkey liqueor that the bartender suggested that did the blushing. . .but the creole bread pudding suffle was very good. . . . then we walked through that casino and watched an indoor rainstorm. . . slighly unimpressive compared to the water fountain at the bellagio. . . but the inside of the casino was pretty. . .
anyway, we went back to the hotel with enough time to catch a quick nap, pack, shower and get to our planes. . . it was a great weekend. and this week i've caught a cold, or something, i'm a little worried that it will turn into bronchitis. . . bleh!
anyway, all from here, for now. . .
"don't give me songs, give me something to sing about"
Buffy, from the musical episode
first night i met up with trevor. . . he set up a great place for us at the orleans hotel. . . . i didn't actually take a picture of it. . but the outside was themed to look a little like buildings from a new orleans street.
the first night, trevor and i decided to catch a shuttle to downtown and walk around as many casinos as possible. . . we only got about half as far as we wanted and had to hit the other side later. . . but it is kinda like disney for adults. all the different themes and such. we stopped a ghiradelli for some treats and witnessed a lame outdoor concert. . . . the only thing fun about it was a drunk couple dancing. . . and not that part so much, but the part when the man hoisted the woman up and as she slid down her short jean skirt slid up revealing that she had decided to go commando that evening. . . well done!
this is trevor and me at the venetian. . .
we were about to head back toward the shuttle after walking through the venetian a bit when low and behold, i ran into my college roommate, and her new husband on their honeymoon! i had kinda thought, as i was getting on my plane, that she had mentioned they were honeymooning in vegas sometime in october. . . . but it was totally great running into her on a whim. we made plans that evening to meet up for lunch a little later in the weekend. . .
here's us after dinner outside paradise island. . .
friday day, trevor and i walked the show floor and i ran into a bunch of people from emerson, brian fehd, brian pratt, dave marcucci (who i hadn't seen since he left school my freshman year). . . then the santa fe opera group showed up. oh, and i got a call from matt filmeck (from kent who now lives and works in the vegas area) to meet up for lunch. so matt picked trevor and me up for dinner, then we headed out to see if we could catch a show of penn and teller. . . . we made it, and it was fantastic! half the time they debunk magic and make fun of all the shows in vegas, and the rest of the time they amaze you with their own magic. teller does this trick. . . so wonderful, with the shadow of a flower in a vase projected. as he cuts at the shadow of the flower, the bits he slices at on the real flower just downstage of him actually fall off. . . . so simple in a way, and so bewildering. . .
after the show matt drove us out to the freemont st. experience. . . .
i was a little disappointed that they only do one show a night that is just loud music and swirly shapes and colors. . . . they've moved to doing small movies instead, as you can see. . . this one was about alien abduction. . . lame. . .
here are trevor and matt watching the canapy. . .
and here are me and matt. . . don't know why i'm so compelled to take these self portrait type shots, when i'm contantly looking in the wrong direction and half cut out of the picture. . . . but oh well. . .
so, that was friday. saturday i met with jen and scott for lunch and we chatted a bit. . . then i was scheduled to meet with the santa fe opera people and we were all going to walk around and check out different booths and such. it was a long afternoon, but there is such a difference walking into a booth and asking for a demostration when you have a world famous lighting designer, duane schuler, walking in with you. suddenly the people there want to show you every little thing and allow you to touch and check out a few more things than when you are without said designer. even fehd, who i caught up with half way through asked if i knew the man in the black sport coat in the group i was standing with. . . and i said, 'yeah, that's duane, i work with him at the opera'. . . and brian was impressed. . . . :) i wish i had taken a couple of pictures of the other people there. . . but it was kind of a work environment, and it felt tacky/ desparate to do so. . . even with the camera phone.
saturday night, trevor and i went to see blueman group. . .yeah, i saw the show. . . AGAIN. . . and still LOVED it. and as an added extra. . . . at the top of the show, when they scroll through people's names and make you say happy birthday and such to different audience members. . . my name scrolled across. . . well, i was laughing so hard that i missed that i had been announced as an olympic gold medal winner. . . i don't even know what event. the entire audience congratulated me, and the woman next to me asked if i was really a gold member winner. . . i had to tell her no. . . (i should've said it was only a silver!)
yeah, show was incredible, as usual. and trevor and i walked around a few more casinos. i actually didn't put one single coin in a slot, or do ANY gambling. . . just not in me i guess. but here's a shot of a sunset with part of the venetian statuary in the foreground. . . .
we also stopped at aladdins, where we got some drinks and dessert. dave, my santa fe opera boss, told me that there was a dessert there that would make me blush. actually, i think it was the wild turkey liqueor that the bartender suggested that did the blushing. . .but the creole bread pudding suffle was very good. . . . then we walked through that casino and watched an indoor rainstorm. . . slighly unimpressive compared to the water fountain at the bellagio. . . but the inside of the casino was pretty. . .
anyway, we went back to the hotel with enough time to catch a quick nap, pack, shower and get to our planes. . . it was a great weekend. and this week i've caught a cold, or something, i'm a little worried that it will turn into bronchitis. . . bleh!
anyway, all from here, for now. . .
"don't give me songs, give me something to sing about"
Buffy, from the musical episode
10.28.2004
so, there's more coming this weekend about my trip to vegas with pictures. . . but till then, i found this and thought it was rather amusing . . . check it out if you get a chance. just another sting at the president. . . and the one sided media we get to see about him . . .
http://onesimplequestion.blogspot.com/
and this had some interesting news about a former 'for bush' group. . . .
http://bushesagainstbush.com/mt/
all for now. . . till latah!
http://onesimplequestion.blogspot.com/
and this had some interesting news about a former 'for bush' group. . . .
http://bushesagainstbush.com/mt/
all for now. . . till latah!
10.27.2004
10.20.2004
well. . . not too sure why, but i am soooooo AWAKE today. could be anticipation for travelling away for the weekend. . . could be empathy excitement from the call i got from my friend who i'm meeting in las vegas- who was WAY excited about going to the conference. . . . or maybe it's my latest acupuncture treatment really going to work for my body. . . not too sure, but i'm digging it, and i hope it keeps up.
so yeah. i gotta do some packing tonight. . . make sure that none of my daily carried work tools, which are commonly mistaken for terrorists weapons, will set off detectors and such. it's actually a long process since so many of the bags i like to carry have LOTS of pockets- and i like to fill them with the 'just in case' items. .. so i gotta rummage through all of that, then actually pick and pack clothes, toiletries and such. perhaps my room will be cleaned a little in the process- only to be destroyed when i get back and throw down everything i travelled with onto my bedroom floor. . . . eh, i'll just leave it messy. i have my ipod for listening pleasure, and a new book that i'm looking forward to. even though the flights are short. . . maybe i'll get to read a decent part, especially if i'm still THIS awake.
whoo-hoo. . . .
"don't give me songs, give me something to sing about."
(can you name this quote?)
so yeah. i gotta do some packing tonight. . . make sure that none of my daily carried work tools, which are commonly mistaken for terrorists weapons, will set off detectors and such. it's actually a long process since so many of the bags i like to carry have LOTS of pockets- and i like to fill them with the 'just in case' items. .. so i gotta rummage through all of that, then actually pick and pack clothes, toiletries and such. perhaps my room will be cleaned a little in the process- only to be destroyed when i get back and throw down everything i travelled with onto my bedroom floor. . . . eh, i'll just leave it messy. i have my ipod for listening pleasure, and a new book that i'm looking forward to. even though the flights are short. . . maybe i'll get to read a decent part, especially if i'm still THIS awake.
whoo-hoo. . . .
"don't give me songs, give me something to sing about."
(can you name this quote?)
10.17.2004
i can't think of anything interesting or noteworthy to blog here. i finished a book that a friend loaned me. . and no, it wasn't the cryptimonicon. . . which i still haven't finished. . . too heady for me still. this one was by the same author as sex and the city. i expected to find the characters amusing though i can't relate to them. . .like sex and the city. . . but the main character. . .i couldn't stand her, so i guess more than anything, i'm surprised that i was able to finish it. 'trading up'. . .that's the title. yeah. . . not one i'll buy for myself.
i did pick up 'mirror, mirror' the newer one by gregory mcguire, who wrote 'wicked'. this one is supposed to be an alternative look at 'snow white'. it'll be nice for the plane. oh yeah. i'm attending LDI in las vegas (conference for us people into lighting and stage technology) this upcoming weekend. i hope to see a number of friends, walk around the show floor, and maybe get lost in the whole adult disney world thing. i'm such a sucker for all the fake places like paris and such.
yeah. . . not much happening. . .
i did pick up 'mirror, mirror' the newer one by gregory mcguire, who wrote 'wicked'. this one is supposed to be an alternative look at 'snow white'. it'll be nice for the plane. oh yeah. i'm attending LDI in las vegas (conference for us people into lighting and stage technology) this upcoming weekend. i hope to see a number of friends, walk around the show floor, and maybe get lost in the whole adult disney world thing. i'm such a sucker for all the fake places like paris and such.
yeah. . . not much happening. . .
10.11.2004
so i had some cd's in my car. . . and yes, there were exposed to heat and sunlight, but i don't think directly. . and yes they were exposed to water. . . since i decided to pack a cooler and i kinda let the extra ice melt onto the floor of my car. .. so also, moisture, indirectly. and i should preempt this by saying that before i went on my little trip all the discs were fine. . . two and a half weeks later, this is what i pulled out of the cd holder. . .
crazy huh. . . . completely ruined.
crazy huh. . . . completely ruined.
the day after we went to the balloon fiesta. . . there was an accident. smokey the bear got caught on a radio tower. 600 feet up and the driver and two youngsters had to climb down the tower. . .
you can see it here. . ..
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/10/11/earlyshow/living/parenting/main648582.shtml
(copy and paste)
you can see it here. . ..
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/10/11/earlyshow/living/parenting/main648582.shtml
(copy and paste)
well, it was that time of year again. . . BALLOON FIESTA. and jared and i decided to sleep an extra hour and got stuck in tons of traffic because of it. something to keep in mind next time. . . get there EARLY. . . . it's better. anyway, after some really annoyingly diverted traffic, we got there in time to see the last hundred or so launch, including some great special shapes.
here was our ascent onto the field. . .
you can kinda see the profile of the bees. . . my favorites. . . blowing up.
then there was a shaped supposedly based on findings that the incan civilization may have launched balloons. . .
one of the better ones. . and most clever ideas. . . a space shutter balloon. . actually larger than the real thing. . .
old mac donald's barn. . .
the brazillians apparently had a several new special shapes entries.. . and here was one. . . a squirrel. . .
here you can see one of the bees and the squirrel as they float out to catch up with all the rest. the two bees launch in perfect synch, turning and moving upwards like a set of olympic synchro swimmers. . . i got a movie, but don't know how to launch it here. . .
here's a little pirate boy with cat in a barrel. . .
a scarecrow. . .
chilli peppers. . . no new mexico event would be complete without some!. . .
a single manned swing balloon thing. . .
and this is one for my brother. . .i'm pretty sure it is his favorite beer. . .
and finally. . . someone who seems to have attended MANY of these. . .
so even though we were late. . . it was again. . TOTALLY worth it!
here was our ascent onto the field. . .
you can kinda see the profile of the bees. . . my favorites. . . blowing up.
then there was a shaped supposedly based on findings that the incan civilization may have launched balloons. . .
one of the better ones. . and most clever ideas. . . a space shutter balloon. . actually larger than the real thing. . .
old mac donald's barn. . .
the brazillians apparently had a several new special shapes entries.. . and here was one. . . a squirrel. . .
here you can see one of the bees and the squirrel as they float out to catch up with all the rest. the two bees launch in perfect synch, turning and moving upwards like a set of olympic synchro swimmers. . . i got a movie, but don't know how to launch it here. . .
here's a little pirate boy with cat in a barrel. . .
a scarecrow. . .
chilli peppers. . . no new mexico event would be complete without some!. . .
a single manned swing balloon thing. . .
and this is one for my brother. . .i'm pretty sure it is his favorite beer. . .
and finally. . . someone who seems to have attended MANY of these. . .
so even though we were late. . . it was again. . TOTALLY worth it!
10.04.2004
Monday, September 20th, 2004
Put Away Your Hankies...a message from Michael Moore
9/20/04
Dear Friends,
Enough of the handwringing! Enough of the doomsaying! Do I have to come there and personally calm you down? Stop with all the defeatism, OK? Bush IS a goner -- IF we all just quit our whining and bellyaching and stop shaking like a bunch of nervous ninnies. Geez, this is embarrassing! The Republicans are laughing at us. Do you ever see them cry, "Oh, it's all over! We are finished! Bush can't win! Waaaaaa!"
Hell no. It's never over for them until the last ballot is shredded. They are never finished -- they just keeping moving forward like sharks that never sleep, always pushing, pulling, kicking, blocking, lying.
They are relentless and that is why we secretly admire them -- they just simply never, ever give up. Only 30% of the country calls itself "Republican," yet the Republicans own it all -- the White House, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court and the majority of the governorships. How do you think they've been able to pull that off considering they are a minority? It's because they eat you and me and every other liberal for breakfast and then spend the rest of the day wreaking havoc on the planet.
Look at us -- what a bunch of crybabies. Bush gets a bounce after his convention and you would have thought the Germans had run through Poland again. The Bushies are coming, the Bushies are coming! Yes, they caught Kerry asleep on the Swift Boat thing. Yes, they found the frequency in Dan Rather and ran with it. Suddenly it's like, "THE END IS NEAR! THE SKY IS FALLING!"
No, it is not. If I hear one more person tell me how lousy a candidate Kerry is and how he can't win... Dammit, of COURSE he's a lousy candidate -- he's a Democrat, for heavens sake! That party is so pathetic, they even lose the elections they win! What were you expecting, Bruce Springsteen heading up the ticket? Bruce would make a helluva president, but guys like him don't run -- and neither do you or I. People like Kerry run.
Yes, OF COURSE any of us would have run a better, smarter, kick-ass campaign. Of course we would have smacked each and every one of those phony swifty boaty bastards down. But WE are not running for president -- Kerry is. So quit complaining and work with what we have. Oprah just gave 300 women a... Pontiac! Did you see any of them frowning and moaning and screaming, "Oh God, NOT a friggin' Pontiac!" Of course not, they were happy. The Pontiacs all had four wheels, an engine and a gas pedal. You want more than that, well, I can't help you. I had a Pontiac once and it lasted a good year. And it was a VERY good year.
My friends, it is time for a reality check.
1. The polls are wrong. They are all over the map like diarrhea. On Friday, one poll had Bush 13 points ahead -- and another poll had them both tied. There are three reasons why the polls are b.s.: One, they are polling "likely voters." "Likely" means those who have consistently voted in the past few elections. So that cuts out young people who are voting for the first time and a ton of non-voters who are definitely going to vote in THIS election. Second, they are not polling people who use their cell phone as their primary phone. Again, that means they are not talking to young people. Finally, most of the polls are weighted with too many Republicans, as pollster John Zogby revealed last week. You are being snookered if you believe any of these polls.
2. Kerry has brought in the Clinton A-team. Instead of shunning Clinton (as Gore did), Kerry has decided to not make that mistake.
3. Traveling around the country, as I've been doing, I gotta tell ya, there is a hell of a lot of unrest out there. Much of it is not being captured by the mainstream press. But it is simmering and it is real. Do not let those well-produced Bush rallies of angry white people scare you. Turn off the TV! (Except Jon Stewart and Bill Moyers -- everything else is just a sugar-coated lie).
4. Conventional wisdom says if the election is decided on "9/11" (the fear of terrorism), Bush wins. But if it is decided on the job we are doing in Iraq, then Bush loses. And folks, that "job," you might have noticed, has descended into the third level of a hell we used to call Vietnam. There is no way out. It is a full-blown mess of a quagmire and the body bags will sadly only mount higher. Regardless of what Kerry meant by his original war vote, he ain't the one who sent those kids to their deaths -- and Mr. and Mrs. Middle America knows it. Had Bush bothered to show up when he was in the "service" he might have somewhat of a clue as to how to recognize an immoral war that cannot be "won." All he has delivered to Iraq was that plasticized turkey last Thanksgiving. It is this failure of monumental proportions that is going to cook his goose come this November.
So, do not despair. All is not over. Far from it. The Bush people need you to believe that it is over. They need you to slump back into your easy chair and feel that sick pain in your gut as you contemplate another four years of George W. Bush. They need you to wish we had a candidate who didn't windsurf and who was just as smart as we were when WE knew Bush was lying about WMD and Saddam planning 9/11. It's like Karl Rove is hypnotizing you -- "Kerry voted for the war...Kerry voted for the war...Kerrrrrryyy vooootted fooooor theeee warrrrrrrrrr..."
Yes...Yes...Yesssss....He did! HE DID! No sense in fighting now...what I need is sleep...sleeep...sleeeeeeppppp...
WAKE UP! The majority are with us! More than half of all Americans are pro-choice, want stronger environmental laws, are appalled that assault weapons are back on the street -- and 54% now believe the war is wrong. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO CONVINCE THEM OF ANY OF THIS -- YOU JUST HAVE TO GIVE THEM A RAY OF HOPE AND A RIDE TO THE POLLS. CAN YOU DO THAT? WILL YOU DO THAT?
Just for me, please? Buck up. The country is almost back in our hands. Not another negative word until Nov. 3rd! Then you can bitch all you want about how you wish Kerry was still that long-haired kid who once had the courage to stand up for something. Personally, I think that kid is still inside him. Instead of the wailing and gnashing of your teeth, why not hold out a hand to him and help the inner soldier/protester come out and defeat the forces of evil we now so desperately face. Do we have any other choice?
Yours,
Michael Moore
Put Away Your Hankies...a message from Michael Moore
9/20/04
Dear Friends,
Enough of the handwringing! Enough of the doomsaying! Do I have to come there and personally calm you down? Stop with all the defeatism, OK? Bush IS a goner -- IF we all just quit our whining and bellyaching and stop shaking like a bunch of nervous ninnies. Geez, this is embarrassing! The Republicans are laughing at us. Do you ever see them cry, "Oh, it's all over! We are finished! Bush can't win! Waaaaaa!"
Hell no. It's never over for them until the last ballot is shredded. They are never finished -- they just keeping moving forward like sharks that never sleep, always pushing, pulling, kicking, blocking, lying.
They are relentless and that is why we secretly admire them -- they just simply never, ever give up. Only 30% of the country calls itself "Republican," yet the Republicans own it all -- the White House, both houses of Congress, the Supreme Court and the majority of the governorships. How do you think they've been able to pull that off considering they are a minority? It's because they eat you and me and every other liberal for breakfast and then spend the rest of the day wreaking havoc on the planet.
Look at us -- what a bunch of crybabies. Bush gets a bounce after his convention and you would have thought the Germans had run through Poland again. The Bushies are coming, the Bushies are coming! Yes, they caught Kerry asleep on the Swift Boat thing. Yes, they found the frequency in Dan Rather and ran with it. Suddenly it's like, "THE END IS NEAR! THE SKY IS FALLING!"
No, it is not. If I hear one more person tell me how lousy a candidate Kerry is and how he can't win... Dammit, of COURSE he's a lousy candidate -- he's a Democrat, for heavens sake! That party is so pathetic, they even lose the elections they win! What were you expecting, Bruce Springsteen heading up the ticket? Bruce would make a helluva president, but guys like him don't run -- and neither do you or I. People like Kerry run.
Yes, OF COURSE any of us would have run a better, smarter, kick-ass campaign. Of course we would have smacked each and every one of those phony swifty boaty bastards down. But WE are not running for president -- Kerry is. So quit complaining and work with what we have. Oprah just gave 300 women a... Pontiac! Did you see any of them frowning and moaning and screaming, "Oh God, NOT a friggin' Pontiac!" Of course not, they were happy. The Pontiacs all had four wheels, an engine and a gas pedal. You want more than that, well, I can't help you. I had a Pontiac once and it lasted a good year. And it was a VERY good year.
My friends, it is time for a reality check.
1. The polls are wrong. They are all over the map like diarrhea. On Friday, one poll had Bush 13 points ahead -- and another poll had them both tied. There are three reasons why the polls are b.s.: One, they are polling "likely voters." "Likely" means those who have consistently voted in the past few elections. So that cuts out young people who are voting for the first time and a ton of non-voters who are definitely going to vote in THIS election. Second, they are not polling people who use their cell phone as their primary phone. Again, that means they are not talking to young people. Finally, most of the polls are weighted with too many Republicans, as pollster John Zogby revealed last week. You are being snookered if you believe any of these polls.
2. Kerry has brought in the Clinton A-team. Instead of shunning Clinton (as Gore did), Kerry has decided to not make that mistake.
3. Traveling around the country, as I've been doing, I gotta tell ya, there is a hell of a lot of unrest out there. Much of it is not being captured by the mainstream press. But it is simmering and it is real. Do not let those well-produced Bush rallies of angry white people scare you. Turn off the TV! (Except Jon Stewart and Bill Moyers -- everything else is just a sugar-coated lie).
4. Conventional wisdom says if the election is decided on "9/11" (the fear of terrorism), Bush wins. But if it is decided on the job we are doing in Iraq, then Bush loses. And folks, that "job," you might have noticed, has descended into the third level of a hell we used to call Vietnam. There is no way out. It is a full-blown mess of a quagmire and the body bags will sadly only mount higher. Regardless of what Kerry meant by his original war vote, he ain't the one who sent those kids to their deaths -- and Mr. and Mrs. Middle America knows it. Had Bush bothered to show up when he was in the "service" he might have somewhat of a clue as to how to recognize an immoral war that cannot be "won." All he has delivered to Iraq was that plasticized turkey last Thanksgiving. It is this failure of monumental proportions that is going to cook his goose come this November.
So, do not despair. All is not over. Far from it. The Bush people need you to believe that it is over. They need you to slump back into your easy chair and feel that sick pain in your gut as you contemplate another four years of George W. Bush. They need you to wish we had a candidate who didn't windsurf and who was just as smart as we were when WE knew Bush was lying about WMD and Saddam planning 9/11. It's like Karl Rove is hypnotizing you -- "Kerry voted for the war...Kerry voted for the war...Kerrrrrryyy vooootted fooooor theeee warrrrrrrrrr..."
Yes...Yes...Yesssss....He did! HE DID! No sense in fighting now...what I need is sleep...sleeep...sleeeeeeppppp...
WAKE UP! The majority are with us! More than half of all Americans are pro-choice, want stronger environmental laws, are appalled that assault weapons are back on the street -- and 54% now believe the war is wrong. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO CONVINCE THEM OF ANY OF THIS -- YOU JUST HAVE TO GIVE THEM A RAY OF HOPE AND A RIDE TO THE POLLS. CAN YOU DO THAT? WILL YOU DO THAT?
Just for me, please? Buck up. The country is almost back in our hands. Not another negative word until Nov. 3rd! Then you can bitch all you want about how you wish Kerry was still that long-haired kid who once had the courage to stand up for something. Personally, I think that kid is still inside him. Instead of the wailing and gnashing of your teeth, why not hold out a hand to him and help the inner soldier/protester come out and defeat the forces of evil we now so desperately face. Do we have any other choice?
Yours,
Michael Moore
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