3.26.2005

coy


coy
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

alright. . . now, give me coy. . . well done!

andria's visit

well. . . luckily i had gotten over the flu just in time for andria to make her stop by on her way back home to dallas from utah. i was a little nervous to test my stomach's capabilities of digesting food .. . but after several days of only water, tea, and orange juice. . . it was starving. . . and particularly craving good new mexican food. it was a little out of the way, but i drove her up to espanola for jo-ann's diner food. it's a totally cute and inexpensive meal. . . but oh so good! and my usual place to take new people, the oasis, was oddly closed for several days. . . . she'll have to wait till next time to experience the womb room.

she was a little surprised by the amount of snow that we had. she had passed through only a week earlier, when it was all beautiful and spring-like. then we got walloped by a snow storm. . .and there was plenty left to slosh through, which we did as we walked through the sculpture garden at shidoni. we didn't get to see them actually pour bronze, but the garden and funky furniture display was still quite fun. and why go through tesuque without a stop at the market for some of the best desserts around. and this time they actually had the good desserts made .. . . unlike the disappointing visit with trevor. i got my flan!. . . .though with my stomach, it took me three days to slowly eat and digest it. mmmmmm. . . flan.. . . . . and she left with some green chile cheese bread to take back with her.

we also stayed a bit at the awakening museum, she accompanied me to my acupuncture appointment, and we even took in a show- sam shepard's fool for love. . . the whole day we chatted and caught up on what each of us knew about the goings on of our barter friends. we even tried to call miss rachel, but i think it was a little late back on east coast time.

i'll make a quick segue here to my next post. i was rather jealous of her well done do. . . and how wonderfully it dried, all curls and little frizz. . . . you'll have to check out the next post to see where that led. . . . hehe

anyway. . . it was a great time, and i hope we get the chance to make it happen a little more often. i'll have to try and share this all with the barter crew. . see, it's nice to stay in touch. check out the pics below. . . . .

andria2


andria2
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

far be it for me to venture out to a new place or museum. . . besides, the Awakening Museum is so cool. how often do you get a chance to be COMPLETELY enveloped by color. andria really enjoyed it as well.

andria1


andria1
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

in left over snow from earilier in the week we checked out Shidoni. . . the bronze foundry. just a week earlier she had stopped by on her way to utah, and the weather had been beautiful and spring-like. then we got blasted with snow. as we did again this weekend.

andria3


andria3
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

andria was up for a visit last week. . . luckily i was just over the flu. . . and enough to enjoy some decent new mexican food with her!

3.11.2005

a honking couple of days



first off, this past weekend was a blast. quite a schooling for myself, and i was totally whooped by the end. i already see that if i were to continue to do some of the hiring conferences, i need to either shorten my talk, or the interviewer's talk. . . each interview was supposed to last 20 minutes, but i tended to run over an average of 5 to 7 minutes. by the last 4 interviews, i was running a complete hour behind! but people still waited. . . .

i met a couple of really great kids, i'm totally psyched to work with them this summer, and well, there was a good share of complete duds. oh well.

there was a decent number of kent kids there that i was able to catch up with. pictures to come really soon.

well, coming back to santa fe, i was really tired, but i had a full week ahead of me. while my repetitive nose honking heralds in the start of allergy season, i've found myself couch ridden, drinking lots of hot tea, and this weird onion ginger honey concoction which is supposed to make me sweat. i was freezing earlier. not so much anymore.

i've been in constant contact with my bosses, working on which kids we want to hire, emailing, reference calling, a couple extra phone interviews. . . . all with a drippy nose and totally congested head . . . whoo hoo. . .

then there was wednesday and thursday, or was it tuesday and wednesday. . . i honestly don't remember for sure. . . the first night andria smith- (ahh barter days)- showed up later in the evening. she was on her way from dallas to utah for some production meetings. she makes the trek each summer but usually doesn't have time to stop by. this time though she crashed over for the night and we stayed up WAY past my bedtime talking and catching up. i was kind of sleepy the next morning, but it was totally worth it. she's planning on stopping by for a little longer on the way back to dallas. hmm. . . perhaps a touristy trek to come. . . .

so, the next morning, i was to head off to the airport to pick up a college friend who was coming to the opera for an interview. on my way to pick up amy mark, andria and i had a little breakfast. . .. what else? a breakfast burrito from santa fe baking company. i ended up being a little late to the airport, but amy seemed fine with it. we played, 'where's so and so and what are they up to' the entire day. .. or at least while she wasn't interviewing. she seems to be doing really well, and i hadn't realized how much i missed a bunch of these people. . . and hearing about how people were. a complete whirlwind for me, and people from two different eras of my life, not to mention the catch up played with the kent kids. . . . so THREE! three different times of my life. i was amazed at my ability to keep it all straight, and i was pulled names out of no where. . . . maybe this congestion thing is good for something, works as a sort of gelatinous goo that help move my synapses. . . . or not.

mmmm. . . NUMB3RS is on. . . . gotta go.

3.08.2005

gisbe arrival


gisbe arrival
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

i got my gisbe (great international secret blog exchange) package just monday. though i think it probably arrived while i was away at the SETC convention, it made for a wonderful welcome surprise for me!

thank you lise! a cutie kangaroo plushie, glow stars-excellent, fun and different tasty treats, and someone did their homework and got me an aquarius month to month book. i LOVE it. . . THANKYOU!

3.01.2005

a grin-ectomy may be necessary


i am less than 12 hours away from getting on a plane and flying to north carolina for the SETC conference. i'm totally psyched, so much so that i'm worried about it being a let down- must balance out a bit. besides, i've had all the anxiety nightmares i think i can take. but other than that, there have been some interesting bits that i've forgotten to mention. .


----i got an anniversary card back in january, marking my first complete year of being a full time employee here at the opera. you know, i am impressed by the details that i see here that i've never seen anywhere else. . .

----i got a birthday card from the opera, yes, kinda of generic, but again, a detail that i've not seen elsewhere.

----on a more inane note, i got a letter and a check from the bank that i mentioned a few entries back. the bank that i closed the account with. after i transferred most of the account, there was a 5 dollar balance left over that the bank was reluctant to give up, 'can i ask, ma'am? why would you want to close this account? is there any way i can persuade you to stay with us?' this is probably the 12th time i heard this bit, and the 20th time i explained the whole, 'how could you send my new debit card to the wrong address and make me wait a month and a half for one to come to the correct address, no, it is unacceptable' almost as if this old bank wanted to take one more chance to prove their irresponsibility, i get the envelope and turn it to open the flap to find that the flap hasn't been sealed. . .. at all. my five dollar check could have skipped town on that envelope, but someone, it made it to me. unbelievable. . .

----a day ago i was walking around and ran into another department head who had what looked like my mail in his hand. i was caught off guard, i thought it was an alumni magazine. there was a costume sketch from a show i worked on directly on the cover. he asked me, 'erika, isn't this you?' there, in print was my name. yes, but why did he have this magazine? why? because it's a trade journal linked to USITT.. . this 'brotherhood or club of technicians' to which i have never belonged. but one of my teachers wrote up a large article about a couple of shows of which i was the lighting designer, so there are a couple of pictures and my name, TWICE as the designer. (and of course there is part of me that is wondering how painful it was to HAVE to include my name hehe, 'damn, she did do all that work, guess we have to give her credit.' muhahahahahahahahaha)

(oh, and all morning, after the magazine circulated- though i still haven't read it- i was teasingly called, 'famous erika')

now, i still have some work to do, and some genius level tetris to perform in my suitcase. . . so, other than the fact that i get to go through all this with my period--- will i ever get to fly without it? arg! ---- i need to get going. later.

2.27.2005

trevor visiting

well, the biggest news from this week was trevor's visit. he was traveling cross country from vermont on his way to a new job in las vegas, nevada. he pulled in around 8pm wednesday evening. i called in a personal day so we could hang out all thursday before he took off again.

it's only when people come up for a visit that it becomes painfully clear to me just how little i get out. i know of many places to get a great meal in this town, but as for a little tourism type thing, i only have a few tricks in my bag. other than that, it's basic stuff that can be done in any town. . . .

on a side note -after this week, jared and i have decided that we need to do a breakfast burrito test try. this is THE town of the breakfast burrito, there are just so many choices and slight differentiations that can become significant to your morning meal.

anyway, we started off with breakfast at the Santa Fe Baking Co. it's a great standard. then off to the old city and a tour of the pretty churches downtown. the Loretto with the mystical staircase. . . (as seen below) and the St. Francis as well as a little stroll through the plaza.

a quick drive through old canyon road and the art galaries, then, on the way to the opera, a pit stop at Shidoni, the bronze foundry. we walked through the art garden and the artistic furniture boutique. we did a good tour through the opera then went for dessert at Tesuque Village Market - which i usually tout to be the most heavenly maker of desserts around. though sadly, there was no cheesecake or flan ARG! am i even in the right place? what has this world come to. . . . the strawberry shortcake was disappointing- very unusual for TVM. . . but the chocolate mousse cake made up for it, i hope.

made a small stop at a pet store to search out a proper scratch post for hedwig, who had taken a liking to scratching at the couch arm, also seen below. a viewing of constantine- which turned out to be much better than first anticipated, and a late dinner in the womb room of the Oasis. . .

not too bad. and trevor made it into his new apartment AOK the next day.

within the next two weeks there will be two more visits, so i'm hoping to find a few more ideas before then. . . . or perhaps not. . . busy week ahead :)

trevor at fridgehenge


trevor at fridgehenge
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

can you really pass up visiting this sort of thing?

comfy hedwig


comfy hedwig
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

and jared and i worried that our deflating couch pillows were becoming uncomfortable. HA!

trevor at the magic staircase


trevor at the magic staircase
Originally uploaded by ekissam.

2.21.2005

things i've done today

so, i am feeling a little guilty that i didn't plan some exciting long weekend, maybe a trip to denver to visit some friends, or hell, even a trip to a local museum. . . and i've had 4 days off- this being the last. well, yesterday i did a thorough cleaning of the apartment. both jared and i are expecting visitors over the next few weeks, and my thought was that if i did a really good cleaning now, we will only need to maintain it. i didn't clean my bedroom yet though, i was planning on doing it today. . . well, we'll see how that goes.

so i woke up around 9 this morning thinking, i'll start by finishing the lasagna i made the sauce and meatballs for last night, then i'll go out, get some more quarters for laundry, hit the gym, do some cleaning, shower up, watch a movie maybe, then settle in for the evening. but this is how it actually went.
got up around 9,
made the lasagna,
did some dishes,
realized that i actually had enough quarters to do my laundry already,
contemplated going out to see 'constantine'
contemplated going to the gym
watched 'return to oz' because i can't get that scissor sister song out of my head (and though i expected it to be really be lame and cheesy -since it is an 80's disney movie, it actually wasn't too bad, but it wasn't as good -ie, dark, twisted and creepy as the song is to me)
then i did two loads of laundry
ate some lasagna
another load of dishes
put away the laundry
(and yes, i'm now listing these in order to make it seem like i've accomplished many important things)
read some blogs,
checked email
wrote some blogs
oh, and somewhere in all that i had a large rum and coke. which may be factoring into my decision making process as well as my writing skills. . . isn't it amazing how once you factor in the non-necessity of laundry quarters, then the need for leaving the apartment decreases exponentially, let alone the need for showering-that's right. . . i'm all greasy haired today! now, i'm on the third load of dishes, and i'm sitting down to watch zatoichi. right, and a second rum and coke because i rarely drink, and i did buy a whole six pack of cokes on friday, and there was one left as of 5 minutes ago, and who really wants that lying around over the week, so. . . bottoms up!

whoo hoo for presidents day. . . .

i also think that the trailers for the fantastic movie, Hero, are terrible. there was one right before this movie started. it does nothing for the actual complexity of the story-line. what were they thinking? or were they being REALLY smart in attempting to hide the actual plot so as not to give the intricacies of it away?

anyway, gotta run, my rum and coke is flattening.

lasagna

day off. . . mmmm. . . i made lasagna. . . . .

2.12.2005

reading. . .

so, a friend of mine that reads my blog regularly noted it as intelligent. . . and while i think i tend to ramble and circle around in my conversation i decided that i will attempt to sound intelligent, and talk about the books i'm reading. or rather list them.

on another blog that i read occasionally, a guy made a challenge to have people he knows read 50 books this year. i read quite a lot last year, but i doubt it was more than 25 books. . . so 50 sounds a little daunting. and i'm not doing well at the present rate this year. . . but here's where i stand.

over the holidays i finished off mirror, mirror by gregory maguire. he also wrote wicked, which was great, and i've read all of his others. i love that twist of the fairy tale. i think wicked rates at the top, with mirror mirror close behind. . . lost, which isn't a twisted fairy tale was also good, and the ugly stepsister book took a really long time to get into. . .. so, eh on that one.

now for books i'm currently reading. i don't normally read several at the same time, but i seem to be giving it a try. i'm wondering if it's working out well because a number of them consist of short stories. . .

get fuzzy (groovitude) by darby conley. . . sunday type comic make for real hard reading huh? actually i just finished it. . . . but it makes the list look a little longer. . . . -i never said anything about quality versus quantity did i?. . . so back off!

little birds by anais nin. . . . some clean erotica :)

in the devil's garden by stewart lee allen. . . . it contains short stories about forbidden foods throughout human history. . . i love NPR's recommendations. it also has some interesting recipes. . .

smoke and mirrors by neil gaiman. the wonderful writer of the sandman comics. it amazes me how he can take stories that i wouldn't ever be interested in, and the wonderful nature of his story telling makes me devour them. i only have one story left, but there are a few that i will need to revisit.

the gnostic gospels by elaine pagels. i had sort of hoped that they would actually be the gospels, but it's more of a study of them, rather dry. so, it's sitting around, don't know if i'll pick it up again, unless i get myself in some largely didactic mood.

cryptonomicon by neal stephenson. . . also on the back burner. i really liked snow crash, but this one, maybe it's too over my head, but i'm swimming between all the characters. perhaps i need a slightly easier stephenson to get me back in the right mind set or something.

america the book (a citizen's guide to democracy inaction) from the daily show with jon stewart. although it is incredibly funny, it still reads a little like a text book. . . so it's slow going for me.

art and physics (parallel visions in space, time and light) by leonard shlain. . . i only got about 17 pages in, and had to set it aside. i think it will take all of my brain power to digest this one, so i want to finish up a couple of these other ones first. i'm totally excited about the subject matter. . . . i think there are direct parallels between the scientific and artistic worlds. . . so i'm hoping this will have some really wonderful examples to help me flush out these ideas i have.

and then, for a little light bedtime reading, the complete fairy tales of the brothers grimm. . . why you may ask? i'm not entirely sure. i found the exact volume that i once had as a kid at the store (it has since been lost in a house fire) it was green leather bound with gilt edges. i didn't end up getting the exact one because there was a new version out with another 29 stories. i remember this one creepy tale about a maiden with no hands. i haven't gotten that far in the new book, but i'm looking forward to it. somewhere along the way i will have a huge deep subconscious psychological epiphany. . . . i'll keep you posted (don't hold your breath)


and since i want to make this list look longer still. . . . here are a few from last year, though i'm sure there are some i have forgotten. . . there was

death comes for the archibishop- willa cather
the story of b- daniel quinn
portrait of a killer (jack the ripper case closed)- patricia cornwell
asleep- banana yoshimoto
the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy- douglas adams
fast food nation- eric schlosser
hey nostradamus!- douglas coupland
the davinci code- dan brown
snow crash- neal stephenson
the sandman (endless nights)- neil gaiman
books of magic- neil gaiman
oh, and all the harry potter books so far published- jk rowling

so. . . what are YOU reading?

too good to not share, thanks jen!

Oh, me my valentine
By Brian McGrory, Globe Columnist  |  February 11, 2005
There's a woman out there -- and she knows who she is -- who once tossed the better part of a McDonald's strawberry shake in my lap on a long-ago Valentine's Day because I gave her a dozen roses.

That's right: I gave her roses -- soft, supple, unbelievably expensive roses, roses that I had waited 45 minutes in line to buy that would have sold for maybe a third of the price the next day. It was Valentine's Day, and that's what you do, right? You give roses.

Apparently not to this woman, who seethed: "You're more creative than this." By the time I mopped the pink foam from my pants and tried to explain that I really wasn't, she was long gone, which is just as well.

But now I'm starting to think she might have been right. I am more creative. I am more creative because of the idea I'm about to unfurl right now, an idea that will undoubtedly take Boston, then Massachusetts, and ultimately the nation by an incredible storm.

Cancel Valentine's Day, which has rapidly become the most overpriced, over-hyped event of the year. Then replace it with a holiday dedicated to the person you truly love the most in life, the one extraordinarily deserving human being who loyally accompanies you every step of the way along this sometimes difficult journey called life.

Yourself.

That's right, delighted readers. We're going to designate Feb. 14 as Self-Appreciation Day, in what is destined to be the most anticipated celebration of the year. Mothers and fathers have always had their own day, as have Pilgrims, secretaries, veterans, Christopher Columbus, dead people, workers, and groundhogs. Why not you? Why not now?

I know, I know, the traditionalists out there are aghast.

How, they're asking, can you not revel in this holiest of Hallmark Holidays highlighting mutual love and all things coupled?

What they're really asking is how can you not spend stupid amounts of money on flowers that have the ability to draw blood.

Why, they're wondering, would you not want to pay jacked-up prices for specially designated Valentine's Day menus at packed restaurants where couples are trying to act like they're much more enamored of each other than they actually are.

The important thing to notice is that the people asking these questions are all women. You see, somewhere along the line, Valentine's Day ceased to be about the couple. Equality in a relationship ended at the stroke of midnight on Feb. 13 and resumed sometime in the morning of the 15th.

Put another way, have you ever met a woman who fretted over what to get her mate for Valentine's Day? If you have, marry her, but I suspect she doesn't exist. She's too busy worrying that the flower deliveryman carrying the vase through her office is walking toward somebody else.

Which won't be an issue on Self-Appreciation Day. When you buy a card that says "World's Greatest Lover," for the first time in your life, you'll actually mean it.

On Self-Appreciation Day, Lovers' Lane leads right in front of your television, preferably to "CSI: Miami," a fresh bag of Doritos, and a cold Sam Adams in hand. Every single bit of guesswork is taken out of purchasing just the right present. In fact, the wager here is that Self-Appreciation Day will prove to be a bigger boon to the economy than Christmas and Valentine's Day combined, with nary a single return.

A new plasma? Hey, I'm worth it. Chocolates? To hell with the fancy stuff over at L. A. Burdick that run about three bucks a bite. Get an oversized Hershey's Krackel and thank your lucky stars for the wonderful giver of such a thoughtful gift.

If you feel compelled to take yourself for a night on the town, picture the quiet calm of a restaurant where every table is set for one -- and when you order dessert, every joyous bite is finally yours.

Self-Appreciation Day: The one day of the year when love is truly in the air.

Brian McGrory is a Globe columnist. He can be reached at mcgrory@globe.com.  

2.06.2005

check check 1. . . 2

just trying a new program that may help me organize my blogging. no promises. . . need to see how certain things work. so i apologize in advance if the blog becomes a royal mess.

oooh. . . i think i can easily insert a link. . . .

simply google

ooooh. . . . like that. . . .

now. . . . is there a way it understands the music i'm listening to and will post that?


Artificial Joy Club - Spaceman

neato!

how about pictures?

mmm. . . not as easy to find. . . . . working. . . . . . wonder what happens if i just drag one into the window. . .



ok. . .. now to see how it uploads. . . .

2.03.2005

the happy ending to my CRAP day. . .

my crap day started about a half hour before my bedtime last night, when i was told that my phone had been temporarily disconnected. WHAT? i just paid it off in full on sunday. i was just talking to someone yesterday, what the hell? so i checked it. indeed, it had been turned off. the info online of my invoice was confusing, one page said i paid the other said i didn't. so i made the phone call to pay over the phone. the operator told me that my check had been turned away by the bank, but couldn't see why. i couldn't see why either, but i wasn't going to ask them, not after this past week.

how about a little exposition? early in january i discovered that someone had made use of my debit card numbers to make a purchase. i remained calm and made a call to the bank. i had a very helpful operator who walked me through the whole thing and had me trash my current debit card for a new one, that would arrive in 7 to 10 business days. this was tough for me. i DESPISE writing checks. however, it's early february and i don't have a new debit card. i made a call on sunday that was mirrored on monday, to the correct department. my card was sent to my secondary address. . . which is not recognized by the USPS. the USPS address that was correct on every other piece of mail i get from the bank was not used, and no one could tell me why my primary address was bypassed. and more to the point, no one was willing to apologize for it. so, i was told a new card would be sent to the correct address and i would recieve it in another '7 to 10' days. . . there were long pauses in the conversation. as if she was waiting for me to say, 'oh, ok, that sounds great.' i had been totally understanding and rational till this point, where i began to lose my patience. i asked if it was possible to expedite the shipping, since i had been inconvienenced. this was not possible since they couldn't quick ship it to a PO address. . . . 'oh, well my secondary address is a fed ex/ ups address, you can next day it there.' again, . . no, they couldn't. long pause. 'well then, i guess we're done here.' 'is there anything else i can do for you ma'am.' 'no, you just proved that you can't, we are done.' click

at this point i've decided to change banks, this is too much hassle, the bank is too far away to deal with this type of issue. so, i can only expect that something within all this has made my phone bill go haywire, and i can't stand to deal with them anymore.

i hd to make another trip to the bank, late at night to make this whole phone bill thing work. i really expected to get mugged, only because it would so perfectly add one more problem on top of everything. thankfully, it didn't happen. though, with my rage, i could've used a mugger as a punching bag and let off a little steam.

this morning, i was able to see a way through the whole thing, and within a week, i think it will be completely cleared up, bankwise.

moving on to later in the day. after a trip to albuquerque and back. . .

i walked into the office to see the box my brother sent me. (sorry, here comes another long story)

2 weeks ago i'm on the phone with my brother. he tells me he has a box for me. it's my christmas presents. i get excited and tell him to ship it to me, i want the presents! he tells me that there is a 'theme' to the box that i will understand when i see it. jokingly i ask if the theme is 'christmas'. . . no, i will see when i get it.

i don't get it that week, and last weekend, i notified dan that he needed to send the box out because i had had a nightmare about it. in the nightmare i get the box and open it in front of my co-workers. on top is a decent long sleeve black shirt with some clever technician logo on it, then begins the horror. several brightly colored disney themed zipped up hoodies. i pick up each one and am pushed further into wondering how my brother traverse the disney store thinking that, 'this would be perfect for erika.' they had bows, ruffles, and sheep patterned fluff. i remember there being lots of pooh, eeyore, and the bright pink of that ballerina hippo from fantasia. i'm disturbed but dig for the possible redeaming gift of the family guy episodes that i mentioned. i come across a set of books. there were three, but i can only remember the subject matter of two of them. the first, 'how to tell if you are gay' by the fraggles. the second, 'how to masterbate' by the muppets. i think i'm blessed that i can't remember the third. i can only imagine they kept going down hill. (did i mention that my dreams can be REALLY unusual and vivid in detail?) there were other bits of colorful disney cheerfulness inside that i have also forgotten, but i think you get the idea.

so, sometimes my dreams are so vivid that i have a little trouble distinguishing them from reality at first. so i deterred from calling my brother to tell him the dream in case he had actually gotten it for me (and i hadn't just dreamed it), worried that i might hurt his feelings. but later in the day, my jugement was better and i told him the whole dream and we laughed over it.

so, i got the real package today. opened it. and this is what greeted my eyes.




brightly colored, pink even, cheerful, disney character. before showing this and telling the story, i called my brother. 'are you fucking with me?' -no, this was really the present he got for me. the theme was cheshire cat. me and the cheshire go WAY back, to when i played it in a 6th grade play, my email is derived from it. . . . but this was messed up. i was totally jolted the whole day. i shared the story with nearly everyone in the production department. the list of books got the best laughs. - i do admit that if those books existed i would TOTALLY own them. . . who in their right and properly twisted mind wouldn't?!

the next good part of the day was in the form of an email.

my friend swon, who i haven't heard from in about a year, finally emailed me. i was so happy i nearly started crying. i'd emailed her so many times, sent her care packages, letters, i even tried to call her, but getting through to korea that particular night proved impossible. . . damn calling cards.

anyway- along with my talent for bizarre dreams, i have an active imagination. . . . she could've been terminally ill or hurt. . . perhaps her parents no longer wanted a nasty american to influence her life and had some how cut off all communication between us. . . she had been kidnapped and was kept in a dark dank basement, with no internet connection allowed. i know. lame and unbelievable. . . but i missed my friend. anyway, it turned out that she was just incredibly busy. and it sounds like she's doing really well, and i can't wait to get a longer and more informed correspondence from her (hint hint, if you are there swon! ^_^)

i had so much energy all day. i went to the gym tonight, which is usually really rough after a 10 hour day. and instead of having one of those draining workouts that make you feel all run down. i had a great workout. i walked away feeling like i had just played one of my better softball or soccer games in highschool. the music, though i have listened to it thousands of times, was fresh and high energy. i moved easily, i streched really well. there's that moment, that perfect moment when a softball hits the fattest part of the bat. when it hits right, you feel the hit, and hear that crack. you know in that instant how good the hit is. for a split second everything was tense in you, then it breaks and releases in that hit. i felt like i had hit a number of those. electricity was surging through me. i walked out to my car wanting to kick ass. if ONLY i had been born a demon hunting vampire slayer. i would've totally rocked tonight!

anyway. onto the rest of my relaxful evening. i was so pumped about today, i almost sent this entire thing out as an email rather than a blog. . . but i've calmed down a little since then. have a great one!

1.31.2005




this is my cyborg acronym name for my nickname, toto. i think it's fabulous, and oh so appropriate!

want your own?

  • your cyborg name


  • 1.30.2005

    missing pictures. . .



    so, summer of 2003. the opera put me up in this really fabulous looking house. i had great roommates. and i had the better of the rooms, since i had my own bathroom with it. when it came time for me to move from this house and into an apartment in town, well, it was a quick move. i was cleaning like a mad woman, and stuffing things into my car to make multiple trips to the apartment. the housing director for the opera had asked personally for a couple extra days for me, so she stopped by to make sure that i had really cleaned it up. i had one small load left and a few things from my closets, of which i had two.- such a great room.

    anyway, i had these small file folder looking picture holders. you know, the file folder holders that have a handle and a buckle int he front? well, these were just a smaller version, for pictures. i had them on a the top right corner of the shelf of the closet closest to my windows. i kept telling myself, 'don't forget the pictures, don't forget the pictures.' and i took out a few more trips then i left with promises to the housing director to bring the trash out to the corner the next morning.

    i honestly have no memory of what happened to the pictures. i've searched all my things since then, and even been back in the house to do a quick sweep of the place- my roommate from last summer had my room this summer. before that i had called the woman who was in charge of watching over the house for the owner- who never lives there. i asked about the pictures, even since it have been about 8 months. but she never got back to me. and in my search i didn't find anything.

    now, in my everyday life, it doesn't matter that much. but there are times when i wish i could go back and revisit the moments in the shots. by the way, this was a BDC. . . before digital camera.

    i'm pretty sure that it all chonicles my time at grad school. granted, there is a good portion of that part of my life that i wouldn't mind losing, but it wouldn't include most of what i had taken pictures of.

    what i remember. . .

    matt and matt:

    i had only been at kent for maybe a month or so. it was our my first show there. i'm sure it was during technical rehearsals or dress rehearsals. these two guys, matt gorris-a scenic grad student, and matt filmeck- a lighting undergrad student were sitting across from each other at a side table discussing something or other. i grabbed my camera, which i'm sure i had there to take shots of my design, and turned to the two and of them and told them to smile.

    what i remember about them most, other than i think the shirt filmeck was wearing made his eyes absolutely gleam blue, was that i barely knew them at the time. i felt sort of shy about taking their picture since i didn't really know them. sort of like i had the need to take pictures of people around me in order to show my parents that i was doing fine and had friends in kent. now, they are both really good friends of mine. i last saw filmeck, who now lives and works in vegas, while i was at a lighting convention in vegas. we hung out together for an evening with another friend of mine. gorris, i called him on my day off to see how his teaching job was going in virginia. i had just sent out an 'i'm bored' email, that had a bunch of fun links attached to it. gorris picked up his phone, and before i had a chance to say hi, he got out, 'what is it erika? have a day off and bored so you're calling around?' yep. . . that's exactly how it was. we chatted about the possibility of me going to a summer job conference that he'd be at too.

    what is wonderful about the picture is how i know these two people now, and how i barely knew them in that one moment. and seeing them again, for an instant, from that point of view again, is just wonderful.

    swon, soo-chong, and me:

    the picture was taken a rockney's- an after school deflation food and drink type place. i had just gotten over being sick but my voice was hoarse for about 2 weeks afterward. swon, my good friend and a group of us were going out to rockneys for dinner, and her sister, soo-chong, was visiting from seattle. many people had commented about how cute my voice was in it's current state. we all tried to to let soo-chong know that i had a normal voice, and that i had just been sick. but she joked that she thought we were all lying because my hoarseness was so consistent. that this was, in fact, my real and only voice. somewhere around then someone else snapped off a shot of the three of us with out arms around each other's shoulders.

    what makes the story better, and the memory of the picture better is that several months later swon became my roommate. soo-chong called to check up on her sister. and as coincidence would have it, i had just gotten over another cold that had left me hoarse again! so i answered the phone, and swon had told her that she was living with me. after i said hi, soo chong broke into laughter and joked that she had known it all along! that WAS my real voice and that the being sick story was all a lie! so, maybe the picture isn't where it's all at, but it helped remind me of that moment.

    next is my friend's vegas chapel wedding:

    my second chance to go to the lighting conference (LDI) was in vegas a couple of years ago. (the conference switches between orlando and vegas) the year before i went to orlando and got to run into a handful of friends that i hadn't seen since undergrad. it was like the world was reopening for me after being hidden away in virginia. so when i contacted a couple of my friends to let them know i'd be in vegas and couldn't wait to see them again, my one friend was ecstatic, since that meant i could attend her wedding. -i had met her boyfriend the year before in orlando. i was totally psyched. we ran into a handful of people from school and all were invited. it was a small ceremony, his parents, a couple of their co-workers, and a handful of emersonians. we weren't allowed to take pictures of our own in the chapel, since that is how the chapel makes most of it's money, by employing their own photographer.

    their two co-workers held up cell phones, one with her grandmother and mother online, and the other with her younger brother online. his parents took us all out for dinner afterward and we all hung out at the freemont street experience afterward. she and i had been in the same class and had been through a lot together, but she had a way of keeping most people at a distance. i felt we were good friends, but not really tight, but i think i underestimated it. she thanked me quietly apart from everyone for being there. our other school friends were a couple of years older, and she felt i was one of the closest people to her, so she was glad to have had me there for the ceremony. although i have no idea how true it is, i feel that maybe i was as close as a person could get to her, and maybe that's what really mattered.

    anyway, we weren't supposed to take pictures on or around the premises. . . but do you really think that kept us from doing it? hell no. while the chapel was busy with the next few weddings, we took some nice and some joke shots outside of the chapel, including one of my friend brian running away from the chapel with a look of terror on his face as he read the sign. then, there was mercedes and gordon. mer in a light pink mandarin collar embroidered dress with her glowing orange hair, and gordon, all in black with a styling buckle that mer had just bought for him.

    i guess i could go into the night of the bachelor/bachelorette party at a strip club, but i'll save that for another time :)

    the iron chef surprise birthday party:

    my second year at grad school. a group of my friends had conspiried to find out my birthdate. i don't normally give it out. (we had actually done it for a friend recently. the 'conspiring' consisted of me rummaging through his school bag while he was in a rehearsal, then finding his wallet and checking his liscense.) so, one of my friends had done about the same thing when i had gotten my new ohio liscense, several months earlier.

    i had been really into iron chef for some time and had pushed it onto my friends, as i do with anything i like a lot :) muhahahah . . . anyway, i was in tech for my thesis show. they went all out trying to figure out if i would be able to come home or if i would be busy with cuing notes. lots of scheduling and planning. it was supposed to be a surprise. however, another friend, scared that i was missing my own surprise birthday party blurted it out to me one night while we were hanging out at his place. on another occasion, closer to the actual event, i was searching for them at one point to discuss the prospects of lunch or dinner, and found them all up in the costume shop. it just turned out that i walked in as my roommate was explaining to the group how i was completely oblivious.

    -normally, i would agree, i have a tendancy to be oblivious, however, i have a great knack of uncanny timing. i guess it balances out. it was no longer a surprise birthday party, but i had no idea the extent of it.

    so, on my birthday, i was in the theatre doing cuing notes. i recognized that one of the girls was set up as a look out in the computer lab. however, when i was ready to go home, i didn't see her, so i thought she had left already. and i went home, sort of prepared.

    i walked into my house through a door that i don't normally use, it leads into the livingroom. my friends had transformed the livingroom into a version of kitchen stadium. i walked in to the theme music for iron chef. one of my friends threw a chef's hat on my head and an apron with my nickname on it around me. when i was asked to answer questions a sharp harsh light was thrown on my face to imitate the show. then another friend, dressed as chairman kaga recited a bit of my childhood and announced me as the challenger, my battle was against swon, my friend, who was the iron chef. the layout was made so that we would be making sushi. swon taught me how to along the way, and we were able to eat all our creations. part of my gift was also some sushi making and serving utensils, plates, soy sauce dipping thingies, and such.

    however, half way through the opening ceremony i realized that someone was missing. the look out. my friend sarah. sarah, i'm sorry if you're reading this now and finding out the truth for the first time. i hope you actually see how much we care for you through our actions. we realized that sarah was missing and quickly threw together a plan. i drove away and someone made a call to sarah on her phone to let her know that i had called home to see if my roommate needed anything from the store since i would stop by on my way home. in the meantime, i drove to the local grocery parking lot, and sat there for about fifteen minutes. when i was pretty sure that sarah had arrived, i drove back home and we replayed the whole thing. i tried my best to act as surprised as the first time, as did everyone. the theme music played, a couple of my friends acted as the commentary guy that does a lot of the talking, chairman kaga read my short history again, and swon came in as the iron chef.

    using all the ingredients we made and ate a lot of sushi. i have to say, even though i'm not the biggest on celebrating my birthday, the whole set up, all the time they put into it, and how much fun we had the entire night. . . it was one of the most amazing things anyone or a group of people have done for me. i remember i'm red faced in most of the pictures, and the smiles were all open mouthed and excited.

    so yeah. most of the time i don't need these pictures around. but i wonder, if each of these held this many memories, imagine all the ones i have forgotten about? not the memories exactly, but what did i take pictures of? what memories would they jog? i plan to call the woman who looks after the house again, on the off chance that somehow these weren't thrown away, that maybe they were just locked up in some lesser used closet- there is a closet or a room that was always locked in that place, maybe they are still there, almost two years later?

    keep your fingers crossed for me :)

    1.29.2005

    me, the computer tutor. . .

    so the production director came up to me earlier in the week and asked, 'erika, you run on a mac don't you?'

    me, hesitantly. . . 'yeah'

    PD-'i'm going to borrow you for a little while.'

    so we walked down to the ranch where the admisistrative offices are, and he explained the deal. there's this woman, -i guess she's a deisgn consultant or something- and she's been put in charge of collecting pictures for the 50th anniversary book for the santa fe opera. she recently bought a top model powerbook and is having some trouble.

    immediately i think i'm in over my head, she's probably deep, deep in photoshop, and i won't really be able to help her. when i meet her, i remember her a little from last year. while were were emptying the crosby house (the founder of the opera who had died) she was taking pictures and measuring pieces of furniture to be used in the ny office. i wasn't very fond of her. she came off as rather snooty, and well, when we had to make a special trip back to the opera building in order to furnish her coke with ice. . . that clinched it for me. so, i didn't like her, but i didn't have to deal with her much.

    i sat down with her for a little while to see if i can figure out the problems she is having with her mac, thinking for sure that i would shortly be on the phone with my friends who know much more then me, and who i call when i have questions about my own machine. in front of her at her desk was a 17" brand new powerbook. . . excuse my while i grab a bowl to catch my drool. . . and the problem she was having? she had never used a computer before. . . . never. . . . . and i mean. . . . NEVER! i think she's probably in her early sixties. . . but i'm really bad at guessing age.

    her partner apparently does all the computer work for whatever firm she works for. . or owns. . . or whatever, i'm not sure. and she's never picked one up. so, she's using photoshop to look at pictures on discs to see if she wants any of them. now, photoshop, a really great mac. . . these would be great tools in the hands of a designer who knew what they were doing, . . . this was not that designer. after a couple of hours, i realized that although preview is the easiest, maybe fastest way to look through pictures. . . this woman really just wants large pictures to scroll past her view, then she wants to be able to save or delete them. . or consider having them touched up.

    i do quite a bit of work with editing pictures, mostly for my own purposes, and i have my own ways of working through a stack of files. . . . every time she asks me a question, i'm aware of about 4 to 8 ways of answering it. it depends on your preference, or how you want to use them later, or. . . .

    but she's not sure of how they will be used. . . and having no prior experiece with computers, she has no preferences. so i try to come at it form her perspective. something easy where she can see large pictures. . . . and in a graceful manner- clicking through files is unappealing to her. so, she now glances at slideshows in iphoto. . .

    i could go into minute details of how the concept of opening windows and programs, as well as the simple manipulation of a mouse is beyond her comprehension.. . . but there is too much.

    anyway, since we are short on time, i figure she'll pick up this stuff suzuki method. i've made small instructions windows that detail how to perform certain functions. and last night i backed up everything she has so far. . . so i think she'll make deletions and such from here on. i'm still really nervous that she'll try to open and use photoshop. it's so easy to get lost, and lose a lot of time there.

    however, after several hours this week, i still see why she drives other people nuts, but she's been nothing but sweet to me. aside from the fact that she thinks i'm an absolute genius on the computer- totally not true, we've had some interesting chats. for a woman that seems all worldy and an intellectual superior, after swearing in front of me several times (both in english and in french) -usually when she double clicks incorrectly. . . she then checked to see if i was a born again christian or something, afraid that maybe her language would bother me. i assured her that it didn't. then, after sharing some brie, she complained about how gassy she was feeling. she excused herself for a cigarette and when she returned said she was glad to have passed gas while out there since it had been so loud.

    i have to say, this isn't a side of her i expected to become aquainted with. honestly, i am enjoying it. i know she is good friends with our general director, so she sometimes chats about him. . and it's just interesting to hear about people from this entirely different perspective. and i'm getting to see all these pictures from productions that i haven't seen before. . . and to hear her talk about them from an artistic eye is educational to me. i only wish she had a little more practical knowledge in working computers, since it would make it slightly less frustrationg.

    other than that, it's beena fairly normal week.

    1.28.2005

    note. . .

    i've gotten rid of my flooble chat box. . . it seemed to have troubles anyway. i'm sorry that i will miss future battles of horns and stringed instruments between mom and mr. lawall. . . but you can still use the comment thing after each entry i make if you wish. . . .

    1.20.2005

    dave's church



    wanna make one your own?

  • make your own church sign




  • 1.17.2005

    1.13.2005

    pretty damn funny. . . .

    i received this onslaught of emails from people i went to kent with. . . it all started with matt. . . . who had good intentions. . .

    matt. . .
    25 signs that you've all grown up

    1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
    2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
    3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
    4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
    5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
    6. You watch the Weather Channel.
    7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
    8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
    9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
    10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
    11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
    12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
    13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
    14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
    15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
    16. You take naps from noon to 6 PM!
    17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
    18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle your stomach.
    19. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
    20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
    21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
    22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."
    23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
    24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
    25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt.

    reply #1, from kyle. . .

    Gorris, what is wrong with you? That's the most depressing thing I'vereceived all day. And I'm not even as old as you - so you must feelREALLY ancient. ;)

    reply #2 from ?. . .

    And besides, you still get the 130 days vacation... ---matt teaches at a college----

    reply #3 from jason. . .
    Yeah Gorris, you're probably used to it by now.

    What is that.... Like 14 yrs. Gorris..... Ohh wait....Thats just counting college

    reply #4 from leba (who recently had her first child). . .

    POOR MATT!Everyone needs to leave Gorris alone. He was just trying to brighten your day with a funny email, and this is the thanks he gets!!!!You all need to learn to RESPECT YOUR ELDERS.

    reply #5 from kyle. . .

    Sorry Mom.

    reply #6 from leba. . .

    you could give him a heart attack


    1.04.2005

    ok. . . so if you aren't aware of any of this. . . you MUST check out parkour, or free running. athleticism, grace, obstacles, inventive moves. . . it doesn't get much hotter than this in my book.

    there's a program on tv, on the learning channel called jump london. . . . if not, check out,

     
  • parkour


  • urban free flow


  • sorry. . . now i gotta get back to drumline. . . then i gotta SLEEP!




    well, it's a new year. time to turn over a new leaf and be reborn, or at least, time to return to santa fe and give up my status as a sloth. though i've enjoyed it tremendously. i suppose the indentation in my parents' couch, which just happens to mirror the silohuette of my ass. . . will fade, slowly. but it's time to get back to life i suppose.

    you know, sometimes i think this blogging thing would be much more entertaining if you could see the passage of time between some of my writing. . . . especially now that i'm trying to catch drumline. . . while writing this. i should also be doing some laundry. but not just yet. . . we're getting into a tense moment. two of my cousins are really into this cause they are part of a huge school band that does competitions similar to this. though i was technically part of a drumline in highschool. . . in a band of 50, i don't think it quite compares. i played the bells for marching band, and was privileged enough to march with the percussion. the perks included getting to wear shorts while everyone else had to wear nasty white hot pants. oh and we also got to wear sunglasses as a group. on the downside, our instruments were heavy and the harnesses used to carry the instruments were rather uncomfortable. i do have a vivid memory of one of our drummers, eric. . . his harness was set in such a way that every once in a while, he'd rub up agains the steel and slice his finger. by the end of any parade, his drumset and white shorts both had an even fine spray of blood across them. he never did anything to adjust it so it wouldn't happen, , , i guess i admired him for taking the pain of it. . . like taking one for the team.

    ok, so wear was i going before i got on that tangent? right. .. laundry is on. . . and we've now learned that our young hero can't read music. .. . too bad. . . so sad.

    so yeah. . . back to santa fe tomorrow. . back to work. . . and hopefully. .. ooh. . . wait. . . . halftime! it's like, you got served. . . only with a plot, and some cool competition, and some honestly crafted dialog.

    right. .. so back to it. whatever it is. . . .
    well, i've taken to reading margret cho's blog from time to time. i've missed it for awhile, but logged back on just in time for her speaking about her period. . .

  • cho blog



  • hmmmm. . . i have something brewing in the back of my head. . . maybe there needs to be a blog with stories of our first period. since it's usually something that is only shared among close friends and family. don't hold your breath. . . but if you are female and if i have your email, you may hear from me. . . muhahahahaha

    12.30.2004

    being at home for the past few days has afforded me the ability to sleep in. . . . till 11 or so almost every day. one thing that i've really noticed about sleeping in is that my dreams get more and more quirky the more i sleep in. if you take to believing that sleep involves some sort of recouperative brain actions. . . like the sorting of memories from short to longterm memory storage and such. . . then perhaps, after doing all the normal daily duties, my synapses hold a short meeting and decide, 'hey, it's time for some fun. . . exactly how bizzare can we make these dreams for her?'. . .

    this morning's dream took place in a target store after hours. kate baker had decided ther were a few things she wanted to shoplift, and i was gonna help her. however, there were a lot of employees working after hours, restocking and cleaning and such. . . .and for some reason a lot fo the employees were small children. so whenever i tried to duck and hide, it was always in their view. . . i was scared that they would give away my hiding place, but for some reason they couldn't speak an understandable english, and all the older employees paid them little attention. one child employee did manage to take away the one bad of bits that i had grabbed, which included a shirt kate wanted for her sister. it had some brand across the chest, which would disappear and reveal the word 'BREASTS' in huge letters when warmed, like hyper color. anyway, after hiding for a while, kate found me, and we managed to run around and grab the rest of what she was looking for, and took off through and unguarded passageway. outside, it was daylight, and there were tons of people around. honestly, most of them looked like they were from the movie Grease. . . . and they gave us a knowing look after seeing our bags.

    but. . . i think two mornings ago was even more bizarre. i guess i was getting dressed or something. i looked down and noticed that my left boob had moved significatly toward the center of my chest, and my right boob had started to move slightly closer to my right side. and to my pure disgust, there was a small boob forming symmetrically to my right one. oh and a huge puss nodule near my left shoulder, which of course i popped and let ooze for a good half hour. immediately i wondered how a plastic surgeon would be able to handle replacing my boobs. . . ( not at all considering how having three boobs could make me really popular on the freak circuit. . . or 'girls gone wild'. . . . .HA) sometime after all that i went to work and had to do a shopping run. the home depot and office depot had merged, and they were one big store. there was two girls who worked there. they had started dating one another a while ago, and i'd gotten really used to seeing them and hearing about the latest bit of their relationship. . . (run like a mom and pop store in a way. . . or should i say, a mom and mom store) anyway, they let me know that they were doing to their perspective homes for holiday, but then they were going to move away together. i wished them luck, and realized it would suck to have to get used to new people owning that store.

    and there you have it. exactly what portion of my brain was in charge of conjuring up any of those ideas and images? maybe i shouldn't sleep in so late. . .

    12.24.2004

    it's christmas eve. . . though it feel little like it. i'm nearly finished cleaning my room. i think i started about a month ago. all i ahve left to do is some laundry and packing. i'll leave for home tomorrow around noon. i think my room will be in pretty good order by then. the floor is so mess free i'll be able to run a vacuum recklessly around without losing small treasures. i have some music stuff to do. . . to prepare my ipod for travel. i have a 4 hour layover in chicago. . . maybe i'll bring a dvd as well!

    i've been thinking about how amazing my immune system is. . . like maybe all the vitamins i take are really working, or the acupuncture is (though i haven't been for a treatment in 3 weeks). . . jared has been sick for a week, and i've been in wonder that i haven't caught it yet. . . but oh the hubris. after working extra long hours in a very cold theatre basement. . . and just in time for me to take some time off. . . i've come down with a killer head cold. so not only will i be flying sick, but i'll get to battle both it and cat allergies at home- mom and dad. . . hope you've stocked up well on soft kleenex! apparently if i constantly blow my nose. . . my eyes don't water. yipee

    jared's working at borders, i've been cleaning. . . and i did shop a little. but i'd hoped that if i mostly rested today, that this bug would move out of me. i don't wanna be sick when there's important work to do. . . which has been quite often lately. but there was plenty of time about a month ago for me to take a sick day and what not! but nooooooooo. . . it's gotta come on when i finally get to have some 'me' time. . . .dammit!

    anyway. . . till later, probably while i'm in sub zero temperatures in northern ny. . . .happy holidays!

    12.18.2004

    well. . . i've hit an all new low. before last night i had made peace with the fact that i've fallen asleep while watching south park, and while watching my much beloved daily show with jon stewart. however last night was rather unforgivable, i fell asleep while watching a new eddie izzard video. what has BECOME OF ME?!

    12.13.2004

    what i want to do. . .

    i want to. . .

    work out, eat, sleep, write, call, talk, play, sleep, read, watch lots of tv, cook, sleep, add pictures to this blog, finish christmas crap, relax, clean, sleep. . . . but i can't seem to get off my ass at the moment. i'm kind of impressed that i'm able to write almost coherent sentences at all. . . .

    i want to call in sick. . but i know i won't. . . too many things to do to get ready for next week. maybe, i will take a day if i feel like i'm ready for the upcoming meeting. . . . i need a day of nothing. . . and there aren't any openings coming up. arg.hmm. . . maybe wednesday.

    ******************************************************************************
    what i did. . . .

    thursday. . . cleaned out scene shop with the carpenters so we can start decorating for the christmas party. passed around amny a favored rum ball. attended the annual staff christmas dinner. good food, and a really good midori sour.

    friday. . . went into work (kinda headachy- from one cocktail?!) for longer than a full day to help set up the donor christmas party. . . (we usually don't work fridays because we work 10 hour days monday thru thursday) and i honestly can't remember if i did anything interesting that evening. . . i think i was too tired.

    saturday. . . went into work for a couple of hours to make sure the party was really set to go. went home, showered, made homemade egg nog- with pumpkin flavoring and lots of rum. called a friend to see if she wanted to go to the espanola light parade with me. . . she was too tired. i stopped by another friend's place to stop off some books, a video game, and egg nog- she's recently out of the hospital and kinda bed ridden. drove to espanola for the light parade. . lots of fun. . . . but not as much fun as with a couple other people. came home and fell asleep watching south park. . . . disgusting. . . . 12:30 am. . . unbelievable.

    sunday. . . slept in till 12:15 pm. . . . again, disgusting. . . but damn i was tired. cleaned kitchen a little, went to breakfast (at 2pm) with jared, ran into cassie, planned evening at plaza. did some christmas shopping, searched for perfect small desk to help organize my newly cleaned room, but was sadly disappointed by my choices, which means there will be a large clump of stuff waiting for a desk for a little while longer. . cluttering my otherwise clean room. stopped home for an hour, then off to the plaza for some holiday festivities. . . had late dinner at oasis, and home too late to do laundry (which is drying as i write) barely made it into the shower. . . just too lethargic.

    monday. . . take down all holiday crap in the shop and restore all tools so we can continue to work on scenery for this upcoming season. sat on ass most of the evening. . . not even watching tv, doing laundry, and writing very uninspiredly.

    12.12.2004

    do you think this was on purpose. . . . or just some poor dyslexic without a decent spell check?

    12.05.2004

    ok. . . so i have 'what not to wear' on in the background. they just gave this woman a $50 grand shopping spree in paris. kind of amazing. . . . and the show is kinda fun to watch. . . but i'm thinking. . . $50 grand. . . paris. me, with that money and plane ticket. . . i could set up a nice little apartment and live fairly richly for a year. . . possibly longer. and this woman will spend it. . . on clothes, in less than 3 days time. sadly incredible. . . . incredibly sad?

    12.03.2004

    hallmark needs to expand. . . . .


    i went into a hallmark yesterday afternoon. . . i usually like the card selection in target, but i thought hallmark would have something nice and i didn't plan to trek all the way to target out here. the hallmark was kinda small, and had a high worker to low customer ratio. the 'get well' area was the farthest from the door. . . so it took me a small bit to actually find it. and by the time i started looking through it, i was already offered help from two different people.

    there were the religious cards, and the sappy inspirational cards, i was just looking for a well wishes and slightly funny/ get well and cute type thing. . . i was sadly disappointed. and twice more, i was offered help. . . i graciously declined, but what i really wanted to say was, 'why yes, could you point me out a proper card for a co-worker/friend having a partial hysterectomy, another coworker/friend having surgery to remove a cyst from her ovary, and a third card for my aunt who recently decided to split from my uncle?'

    there was a serious operation card or two. . . but they were a little too sappy. so, in the end i chose two slightly cute and cheesy 'get well' cards, and a 'happy new home' card (trying to find the positive in a separation.) where are the sweet funny distraction cards with half naked men, promises of many alcoholic libations, and silly girls' nights out. these people are dealing with serious issues. . . do we have to stroke the pain, fear, and depression? it doesn't have to be a, 'congratulations on losing 'x' amount of pounds! who knew that a uterus/ cyst/ spouse weighed so much?!' kinda card. . . just something to slightly distact and amuse. . . oh well. . . .

    11.30.2004

    just recently found this again and thought i'd share. . . it's just so damn funny!


    Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Taster Named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:

    "Recently I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event:

    *** Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili

    JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

    JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

    FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

    *** Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili

    JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

    JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

    FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

    *** Chili # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

    JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

    JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.

    FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now, get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all the beer.

    *** Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic

    JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

    JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

    FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it, is it possible to burn-out taste buds? Sally,the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?

    *** Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover

    JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

    JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

    FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off? It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!

    *** Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety

    JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.

    JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

    FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally, she must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!

    *** Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili

    JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

    JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

    FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4 inch hole in my stomach.

    *** Chili # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili

    JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

    JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he'd have reacted to a really hot chili?

    FRANK: -------------- (editor's note: Judge #3 was unable to report)

    11.29.2004

    This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it.

    It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception.

    As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party, was a manila envelope.

    He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked them to open their envelope. Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man.

    The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.

    After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "F--- you!".

    Then he turned to his bride and said, "F--- you!".

    Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I'm outta here."

    He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge for making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members.

    This guy has balls the size of church bells.

    Do you think we might get a MasterCard "priceless" commercial out of this?

    Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends........$32,000

    Wedding photographs commemorating the occasion..........................$3,000

    Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui......................$8,500

    The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man ..............................................Priceless

    There are some things money can't buy, for everything else there's MasterCard

    How to tell if you live in a red, or blue state.
    -from betty bowers

    Blue States: Home of good schools
    Red States: Homeskooled good


    Blue States: Want a big tent for their Party.
    Red States: Wears a big tent to her party.


    Blue States: Favor electric cars
    Red States: Favor electric chairs


    Blue States: Concerned about ballooning deficits' effect on capital markets turning gains into thin air
    Red States: Concerned about whether it's demons that make balloons float in thin air


    Blue States: Dream of making enough money to kite and swim with Czechs in Biarritz
    Red States: Dream of kiting enough checks to swim in Schlitz


    Blue States: Favor institutionalized health care for the poor
    Red States: Favor institutionalizing the poor


    Blue States: After the 9/11 attacks, put coffins in the ground
    Red States: After the 9/11 attacks, put magnetic flags on the car


    Blue States: Forget that God did not give Adam a Steve
    Red States: Forget that not only did God give Abraham three wives, He gave Solomon 300 concubines


    Blue States: Enormous cities that serve as the engines of human progress
    Red States: Enormous Hummers that serve as the engines for Arab oil


    Blue States: Provide the "tax" part of "tax and spend"
    Red States: Provide the "spend on a new 8-lane highway to link a Wal-Mart to the Olive Garden" part of "tax and spend"


    Blue States: Believe we're all brothers and sisters under the skin.
    Red States: Don't mind if we're brothers and sisters under the sheets.


    Blue States: Fighting to clean up skid row
    Red States: Fighting to clean up skid marks


    Blue States: 9/11 survivors mourned at night as the television coverage showed those killed
    Red States: Mourned television coverage of 9/11 that killed that night's "Survivor" show


    Blue States: Concerned about global warming
    Red States: Don't like to travel and are too fat to fit in an airline seat anyway, so glad to hear that the tropics are coming to Texas. Yee-haw!


    Blue States: Follow Jesus, but doesn't believe in Him
    Red States: Believe in Jesus, but doesn't follow Him


    Blue States: Want to repeal the Patriot Act
    Red States: Want to repeal the Emancipation Proclamation


    Blue States: Looking for a method to weaken China every day
    Red States: Sold everyday china for a weekend of meth


    Blue States: Favor drafting annoying laws on assault rifles
    Red States: Assault annoying in-laws with rifles after being drafted


    Blue States: Want the right for everyone to worship as they choose
    Red States: Want the right to choose everyone's worship


    Blue States: Champion women wrestling with the right to choose
    Red States: Choose women's wrestling championships


    Blue States: Want a rational energy policy
    Red States: Want policy of energetic irrationalism


    Blue States: Used benefits to assist victims on account of attacks
    Red States: Used attacks to benefit Toby Keith's bank account


    Blue States: Watched friends in New York die in foxy attacks on America
    Red States: Attack New York on Fox for not being friends of America


    Blue States: Believe God loves us and gave everyone free will to be different
    Red States: Believe God willed us to freely hate everyone different


    Blue States: Believe absence makes the heart grow fonder
    Red States: Believe abstinence saves the tart from plunder


    Blue States: Believe in Mr. Darwin's theory of "Evolution"
    Red States: Believe in Mr. Jesus' "Talking Snake" theory


    Blue States: Slave to pay inheritance taxes
    Red States: Inherited slaves


    Blue States: Buy art
    Red States: Collect Beanie Babies



    something amusing for a snowy monday morning. . .

    yes, there was a bit of powder on the roads, so i took my ride to the opera a little slower than usual. . . but the highway seemed fine and i was becoming rather annoyed with someone in front of my who kept riding their brakes and wasn't able to decided on which lane they wanted to occupy. . . when i had the chance to pass them i felt a superior snow driver. . . but as i fishtailed onto the actual opera road, i decided to not be as cocky and took the ride even more slowly.

    even driving straight through one patch i could feel my car pull from below me. i slowed down more, thinking about how i would joke about my lateness and blame it on having only front wheel drive and a bad road. however, coming around one of the many bends in the road, there were all of my coworkers. some just pulled over, and one or two more actually had skidded off the road a bit. . . they motioned to me to keep going as far as i could. among them were 3 pick up trucks and one car. . . .further up a hill was another car, skidding slightly as he tried to make it up the last bit of hill. i stopped breifly behind him (since he was in the middle of the road) but he also motioned for me to continue past him. it was a tougher start. . . i slipped a bit, but then got my car rocking and pumped my gas pedal, or brake pedal (depending on the needs) the entire way into the parking lot. as i crawled up the hill i saw people cheering me on from behind.

    once situated inside, i called their cell phones to see if they needed help, but they were going to rely on one of them with four wheel drive to try and tow them out. i should note that at 8am and hour later, i haven't heard them come in yet. . . but i figure they'll call if they need help.

    so, whether it's luck, something odd about my car, or my extremely good snow driving skills honed in upstate ny (my first time ever driving was on black ice). . . i'm the first into the parking lot this morning. :) whoo hoo?!

    11.21.2004

    my non-ghost story

    not sure why, but i don't think i've relayed this one yet, and it came up in my mind (probably because of the sci-fi show that i can now enjoy with my cable. . 'ghost hunters'). . . so thought i'd share.

    it was my first summer in kent, when i had to work at Porthole, sorry, i mean Porthouse. . . summer theatre company. i was befriending a bunch of people that were new to me. . . and somewhere down the line we got into ghost stories. the painter, i think his name was neil (terrible that i can't remember) mentioned that he liked to take people on this drive where they could see a ghost in a graveyard. he'd been doing it for about 5 years. . . and taken many a people out to this graveyard to see this ghost. i thought this sounded great. . . we could go ghost hunting! yipee. . .

    as the story goes, this gray woman appears in the evening to watch over a grave- supposedly belonging to a loved one. i asked if anyone had seen her during the day, and no. . . no one had bothered to go out there during the day. then i asked how close anyone had gotten to her, and if anyone had attempted to make contact. .. . . no one had ever gotten out of the car. this absolutely needed some investigation.

    it was me, another electrician -matt, the painter-neil, and the assistant technical director (i think his name was jason). we piled into neil's car and went on a decently lengthy ride. . . through a lot of rural land, twists and turns. definitely off the beaten path. i was armed pretty well, with a flashlight, a laser pointer, and some salt- (i'd heard it's rather protective and i though, better safe then sorry- JUST IN CASE) everyone was all gun ho about checking this out to the largest extent possible.

    we approached the graveyard, and there she was. a tall gray figure leaning over a gravestone. we were all very excited. . . . neil made to turn around and make another pass and jason exclaimed that she was facing the other way on our first pass. . . i wasn't sure. . .. i wanted to get out and get a closer, and better look. and all of a sudden, matt and jason weren't up to getting out of the car. 'no, i'm not sure.' 'let's just head back.'. . . . blah blah blah. . . no we were getting out of the car and getting a closer look.

    neil pulled into the small lot. and we all got out and started walking towards her. ok, now i may have seemed pretty ballsy, but i was completely nervous as well. . . what if she was a real ghost? how was i going to react to that? we made out way to her very slowly. i decided not to use a laser pointer, rationalizing that if she was a real ghosst that somehow pointing a laser beam into her would be rather disrespectful, and i didn't want to anger her. . . just in case. she kinda looked like stone. . . but it was so gray out, there was no decent defining light source to help out. . . we needed to get closer.

    'guys, i think she's just a statue. . . i think.' i said it outloud, but had this image in my head. . . . her own head was facing downwards and was covered by a cascade of hair, so we couldn't see any facial features. . . but if you've seen the first ghostbuster movie then you might have an understanding for my mental image. each time i tried to imagine getting close enough to see her face, i envisioned her head upturning to reveal this hideously angry demonic face. . . kinda like that part in ghostbusters where they first encounter that librarian ghost and yell, 'get her' and she transforms into a rather scary entity. so even though i was verbally trying to convince the group and myself. . . . this image was slowing my feet a little.

    we were then only a row of gravestones away from her. she was stone. . . .we were nearly completely sure. there was only one act to solidify it. someone needed to actually walk up and touch her. . . 'i'm not gonna touch her, you do it.' . . . 'uh huh. . . you!'. . . 'i dare you'. . . 'no way, i dare you!'. . . . you get the idea.

    then suddenly a car was approaching. . . someone yelled that it was a cop. the group of us went to duck for cover. . . . matt and neil fled to the side, and jason and i ended up right at her feet. . . bumping into her. complete stone. a very sad looking figure standing over the grave with one arm draped over the top of the stone, and her grecian like draped dress just adding to the weight that seemed to sit with her. she was slightly larger then real life. . . and just really sad, and, well, kinda creepy looking . . . . but not a ghost.

    we drove back home, feeling a little triumphant. . . and a little regretful. we'd disproved this wonderful thing that neil had been participating in for years. but we did have a pretty good time, and a good story to tell afterward.






    "when you sit right down in the middle of yourself
    you're gonna wanna have a comfortable chair"

    11.14.2004

    soooo. . . guess who has a cable modem and digital cable. . . . that's right. . . this girl. and guess who's watched about 4 hours of celebrity poker in the past two days. . . . that's right. . . this girl. well, jared and i are still working out how to both share an IP. . . but that will change when we get te wireless router. . . oh yeah. . . so, we're sharing the net, but i'm here now!. . . whoo hooo. . . . .

    it's all very exciting. but other than complete sensory overload. . . there's not too much happening. i've watched daily show, while downloading movie trailers and chatting online. . . . what else is there to life really? now, if i could only win the lottery so i would never have to leave my apt. . or by that time it would be a stylish house. . . but i think you get the idea.

    11.11.2004

    MEME
    (got this from another person's live journal)

    Sometimes late at night... i wake up and find that i've been squinting, for hours, in my dream.

    If only I could go back... i would pay more attention.

    Someone told me once that... if i said 'bloody mary' into a mirror at midnight, a woman would appear and attempt to kill me. . . i still have NEVER done it.

    I have no willpower when... faced with a brownie. . . and not the little female ones selling cookies, but the scrumptious chocolatey ones.

    I can't stand... snotty loud people.

    When I think of love... i feel overwhelmed.

    I always question... myself. . . not enough trust there.

    The last time I cried... was last night while taking a hot shower i thought of my grandmother (who has passed away) and racked my brain for five minutes when i though i'd forgotten the anniversary date of her death. . .then i remembered, april 7th-she died, april 8- is my grandfather's birthday, and april 9th is their wedding anniversary.

    My reoccuring dream... is of a car crash. . . the car is buried in rubble and dirt, but a small seed (one cell of me) germinates until it creates another human-someone that i'm fearful of, that isn't at all me. (i've had it since i was 6 or so. . . but not recently)

    Cell phones... can be really handy . . . and REALLY annoying.

    You are about to expire. You can say two words to the world before you go. What two words would you choose to carry on in the life you left behind? . . . be kind.


    these were her answers. . .

    Sometimes late at night... I wake up and check on Jonah, even though nothing is wrong.

    If only I could go back... I would fight harder for everything.

    Someone told me once that... if you put rose petals under your pillow at night, you would dream about the man you were going to marry.

    I have no willpower when... faced with peer pressure.

    I can't stand... incompetent people.

    When I think of love... I am forever hopeful.

    I always question... people's reasoning.

    The last time I cried... was this morning, after I dropped off a screaming Jonah at daycare.

    My reoccuring dream... is that I am in the middle of a war and bombs are dropping all around me.

    Cell phones... are dangerous to talk on while you're driving.

    You are about to expire. You can say two words to the world before you go. What two words would you choose to carry on in the life you left behind? Remember me.*

    *but, ah, forget my fate

    11.08.2004

    ok. . . how about some advice. . .

    i'm sick of my hair. . . sick sick sick of it.

    i kinda want to grow it out, at least a little more, but i can't seem to wait long enough before i actually cut it. i tend to keep it in pigtails while at work. . . which is the majority of the time. . . . and i let it down, whether it's curly or if i straighten it. . . on weekends. . .

    i've been toying and researching the idea of doing some dreadlock action. . . .

    any ideas?

    11.06.2004

    i think i'm too depressed to blog. . . . i wonder if there will be any psychiatrists that will make out fiscally from election depression?

    well, one thing to be happy? about is that this time next week, i should have cable, and shortly after that. . .cable modem. . . . whoo-hoo.

    i almost posted different thoughts along the whole election. . . .but i think i've become apathetic.

    i am glad i no longer live in ohio. . . i guess that's one thing. hope all is well with you all.
    "your next bold move"

    coming of age during the plague
    of reagan and bush
    watching capitalism gun down democracy
    it had this funny effect on me
    i guess

    i am cancer
    i am HIV
    and i'm down at the blue jesus
    blue cross hospital
    just lookin' up from my pillow
    feeling blessed

    and the mighty multinationals
    have monopolized the oxygen
    so it's as easy as breathing
    for us all to participate

    yes they're buying and selling
    off shares of air
    and you know it's all around you
    but it's hard to point and say "there"
    so you just sit on your hands
    and quietly contemplate

    your next bold move
    the next thing you're gonna need to prove
    to yourself

    what a waste of thumbs that are opposable
    to make machines that are disposable
    and sell them to seagulls flying in circles
    around one big right wing

    yes, the left wing was broken long ago
    by the slingshot of cointelpro
    and now it's so hard to have faith in
    anything

    especially your next bold move
    or the next thing you're gonna need to prove
    to yourself

    you want to track each trickle
    back to its source
    and then scream up the faucet
    'til your face is hoarse
    cuz you're surrounded by a world's worth
    of things you just can't excuse

    but you've got the hard cough of a chain smoker
    and you're at the arctic circle playing strip poker
    and it's getting colder and colder
    everytime you lose

    so go ahead
    make your next bold move
    tell us
    what's the next thing you're gonna need to prove
    to yourself

    -ani difranco